[center] Clara wasn't sure what to do or what would meet her after her outburst. The only thing that seemed real to her, something she could grasp onto easily, had been the anger and rage laced with betrayal and the new distrust that swirled together like a brewing and angry storm. The itch to run, to hurry off and leave him in the aftermath of her fury was terribly strong. Yet, part of her had rather drown herself in drink, curl up in bed, and force it all away as quick as she could, but then again, it was the liquor and that same anger that had gotten her in this mess in the first place. So, Clara had kept herself planted, eager to shift and move in her anxiety, wanting to pace but knowing it would only weaken her own control. She was stiff, her hands clenched into fists as her nails bit down firmly, digging into the palms of her hands while she braced herself for the inevitable outburst that should have come from him. She was ready to fight, ready to argue and kick and scream until she had gotten her point across; until she could get it all out and feel at least partially better that everything within her had been released in a fit of rage until she was too exhausted to deal with it any longer. 

And yet she was not met with what she expected, and it threw her off the path that she had so intently set for herself while she'd been in the shower. 

It was almost there: the mocking words that he had begun with had triggered her despite the tone that he carried. "That's [i]exactly[/i] what you should have done!" Clara hissed out without hesitation. "At least I would have had a goddamn [i]choice[/i]! I would have known what the hell I was getting into last night!" She argued, her voice still firm in her resolve that the man before her had hurt her in one of the worst ways, and there was no going back. He was supposed to be the only one that she could put her faith in; the one who had brought her in and sheltered her, put up with every headache and every worry that she could have placed upon him. He was the one out of all of her bouts of insanity, her mood swings, her attitude day by day, who had kept her grounded and brought her back to exactly where she was supposed to be. If she ventured too far, he was always there to draw her home, to bring her back to the reality at hand, to try to keep her own doubts, fears, and depression from swallowing her whole. 

And all this had done was to thrust her right back into it; into that twister of fear that perhaps she had let him in too much; she had let him get too close that he was able to hurt her. She should have kept him at arm's length, just out of reach like she did with most others. Hell, she thought she had for a long time; the way she always snapped at him, the way she had shut down any semblance of caring to keep herself isolated in his own home. Clearly she'd slipped up somewhere along the line; clearly somehow he had gotten through some of her walls, for his mere absence and the idea that he could have forgotten about her so easily had triggered her rage and had caused her to wander – caused her to become prey to whatever the hell that was that was buried inside of him. 

Her words were silenced as Jaden had spoken again, and she felt her anger waver for a moment. Where had it all gone? The idea that he could have lashed out in his defense was the only thing she had planned to act against. Now that he'd spoken and looked so … defeated in a way that she had never seen before, Clara wasn't sure how to react. His sudden admittance to everything had left a hollow feeling within her, as if all of the air that had built within her was suddenly let out all at once and she was left grasping for something that wasn't quite there. Why couldn't he have just fought her? It would have been so much easier then, so easy to run and lock herself away until she felt lonely enough to come out. The one thing that she had needed and the one thing that she solely relied on had been the trust that he would never hurt her, and it had been the first thing broken, no matter how many years it had taken. She would have rather him admitted it a long time ago, she could have at least prepared herself for something like this, but to have it happen in such a way left her completely vulnerable to him, even more than she'd been in the past. Regardless of the fact that he remembered the night before or not, she had given herself over in such a way that left her feeling used even now – even if it wasn't entirely him who had done it, and that feeling had brought her immediately back to when it all began. It was a feeling that she never wanted to endure again; the reason she kept them all away; the reason she pushed and pushed at Jaden so that there was some distance between them. 

But he'd found a way to break through it after all, hadn't he?

Jaden had given her a choice that she hadn't expected; a choice that seemed so final in the way he spoke of it. There had been a tiny part of her that had wanted to take it out of spite; to make him feel the emptiness of her absence, and perhaps it would have been a good choice for a little while. Perhaps she could make it on her own out there, but – she knew that ache would creep up, slow at first, perhaps hardly even noticeable for a long time, but it would be there. Regardless of the anger she felt now, Clara understood that she couldn’t' very well leave. Because no matter how much she had denied it, she needed him just as much as he needed her. It wasn't until now, the way he seemed so detached from the choice he had given her, the way he nearly stripped himself bare for her to see, that she'd even noticed it before. 

At the end of the day, Clara had owed her life to Jaden. 

No matter how much he had gotten under her skin over the years, how many times she had gotten angry at him for something he'd done or the way he dragged her home, that point had remained firm. For whatever reason, Jaden had taken her in that night. He could have let her die, could have let herself get killed one way or another, but he had taken her in and he had provided for her. No matter how bitter or how difficult she had become, he had dealt with her, put up with her mess and her emotions – who else would do such a thing for her? Especially since she truly believed she was so easily tossed aside… 

As Jaden had moved to kneel before her, she felt her stomach sink to her toes. His submission had been foreign to her, so much so that it nearly made her ache when she heard his words, despite herself. How, even for a moment, she could want to make [i]his[/i] pain go away was beyond her. How things had suddenly taken a turn and she could no longer muster the strength to lash out was a mystery. But the one thought had still remained and she knew she could not leave him regardless of how much she had felt that he betrayed her with his lie. 

"…Stand up, Jaden." Clara finally murmured after a long bout of silence had hung thick on the air. Her voice had wavered, more so than she would have liked it to and her arms came to cross over her chest in a loose embrace only for herself.  She had looked away from him if only for a moment, unsure about her decision but understanding that the idea of being on her own had scared the hell out of her as well. She had become so used to him – the only one that had known and understood at least a shred of what she'd been through – and she knew she would never allow anyone else to get that close again. Hell, she wasn't entirely sure she could let Jaden get that close again… 

"If you have anything else to tell me, you need to lay it on the table right now." Clara spoke once more, her voice more firm this time as her gaze landed back upon him. "I do not like to be lied to – you know that full well… Because I swear, Jaden, if something like this happens again – I... I can't promise that I'll still be standing here afterwards…" Was that the truth? Clara wasn't so sure… all she knew was that she couldn't go through it again and she despised the emotions that were flowing through her no matter how much she tried to hide it from him. [/center]