[center]It was numbing – the truth suddenly coming out after all of these years both by her own discovery and even now as he spoke to her. She wasn't sure what to grasp; what entirely to feel as he continued to release it, and everything she could have previously thought or understood now had been altered in a way that she felt as if the ground had been pulled from right beneath her feet. Any semblance of worthlessness that she had felt before in her own abandonment had been amplified, especially now that she'd realized she'd been a mere pawn in a plot that was much bigger than her own. The fact that she'd only been sheltered, spared from an inevitable death, due to the fact that she resembled Jaden's late wife had also struck a nerve deep within her, perhaps more than she could have expected. None of this had settled well with her, none of it had made any bit of what she'd learned [i]acceptable[/i], but why she hadn't run straight out of that room and far away from the one who she was [i]supposed[/i] to rely on had still been beyond her understanding. 

It was harrowing – the truth laid out before her to pick up the pieces one by one in a slow haze of disbelief. Clara hadn't wanted to know the truth – hell, she hadn't known there was more to any bit of the story until her mistake the night before; until she had been consumed entirely by what was held within Jaden. She was bound to find out at least that part inevitably, and she still couldn't believe after all of this time, he had chosen to keep it hidden… 

How after all of this time she hadn't a damn clue that he was connected to her sire in more ways than she could have ever guessed. 

Without fully realizing it, Clara had found herself pacing – her steps a feverish march back and forth with the energy and frustration and sheer adrenaline that continued to surge through her, begging for release. How she wished she could simply wreak havoc on the room alone – shove past the stacks of books, rip apart anything that lie on his desk. She needed to take it out on [i]something[/i] and yet her hands remained busy, fingers curling through her hair, nails biting against her scalp while she tried to contain herself without managing to take it entirely out on Jaden. She'd had issues before – the mere need for isolation over the fear that anyone else could hurt her just as quickly as her sire once had. She pushed Jaden far away no matter how close he had tried to get; she kept herself distant from anyone who could have found themselves within her life… It was safer that way. And now the one person who, regardless of the distance she had tried to put between them after some time of being together, had managed to hurt her even throughout that isolation – she felt unsure, shaken, doubting what she should and shouldn't do while her thoughts couldn't seem to stay in a straight line. 

His words might have reached her in the way he had wanted them to at any other time, but as for now, they were mere words to her. She didn't want to hear how she had helped him in a way; how he could have felt towards her after all of this time. She didn't want to let him in; let him know how day in and day out she ached for that companionship no matter how much she drove herself to push it away – especially now where she felt that he'd suddenly dashed it all away, sent it crashing in shards on the floor before her. 

"You're [i]wrong[/i]." Clara bit out as soon as he continued. "Killing him would change [i]everything[/i]… Maybe not for you, but it would for me." She wouldn't have to worry where the hell he was; if he was out there… She had a feeling he still existed, still lurked maybe not close by, but he most certainly wasn't dead. With his death, she'd hoped her nightmares would end, the incessant sleep deprivation that pushed her even closer to the need for isolation; She wanted to make that man [i]feel[/i] everything that he made her feel, everything that she tried to numb day in and day out when she managed to drink her nights away. Suddenly it seemed augmented; her sense of crazy, her insecurities all brought to light by the mere mistake she'd made the night before out of her anger over Jaden's neglect… The truth suddenly thrust upon her made her entire world seem falsified in a way… And after a while, throughout all of her anger, came that numbing sensation, that – really after all of this, what else could hurt her as badly? What else could she have to lose?

She seemed defeated in that moment, as if her last words had been spoken with what little energy that she had left. Her gaze dropped from him and fell to the floor for a long moment before her steps had taken her cautiously to one of the smaller chairs that sat before his desk, her body slowly sinking into its hold before she had pulled her legs up tightly to her chest. Her arms had curled around them, keeping herself closed off from him, closed off from anything that could have reached her as she pressed her forehead to the top of her knees. "What am I supposed to believe anymore, Jaden?" Clara's voice had become so quiet suddenly, muffled within her own embrace. "How am I supposed to believe [i]you[/I]? How am I really supposed to know what the hell is the truth and what isn’t?" [/center]