[@shylarah]
Yeah... almost thirty-three here, and you and Ailyn are both twenty-eight.

Seriously, Ritalin was supposed to make me focus but all it did was supress the very 'wavelength' within me that gave me the power to excel -- I basically spent my entire life on a limiter of sort that more or less stifled my ability to express myself and use the full capacity of my mind. I also don't react well to medications [i]in general[/i] so it had a lot of side effects, including - but not limited to - hallucinations. Prior to being medicated, my problems at school were all due to feeling like it was a waste of time (which, honestly, it was) together with a lot of social alienation due to how different I was.

Sorry to hear puberty went badly for you, but I'm glad you got through it all. On my end, it actually [i]did[/i] make me suicidal... [i]very[/i] suicidal. I never acted on it because I'm an incredibly strong person, but thoughts of death have lingered over me like a wraith most of my life. When my father (one of the only two family members who understood me at all really) died in a house fire, shortly after I turned seventeen, it only made things worse.

I should make a point that the comment I mentioned about people thinking my mother was a teacher due to how clever I was is something that I've only heard from her, not something I personally remember -- I have very few memories of anyone actually encouraging me in my youth because everyone was too busy talking about how I needed to be 'fixed' because of what was 'wrong' with me. That being said, a lot of people have definitely made a point of how intelligent I am. To illustrate how I was as a child -- when I was five I knew the scientific names of every single dinosaur and could recite them on the fly, solely because as a kid they interested me (I'm not interested in dinosaurs anymore and haven't been for many years, resulting in me forgetting everything I used to know about them). This of, obviously, just one example.

Really, I can't say anything positive about my achievements at school because I usually only did above average -- I was being supressed and held back by so many factors both physically and mentally that there was no hope of me ever excelling in my grades in general. I honestly was denied an opportunity for a real chance at education or a future before my life at school even truly started, so I know [i]all too well[/i] the pain of reflecting on my life and realizing my story is one of nothing but lost potential. In many senses, that's another reason I do my story -- 'Guardian Ascension' is my last chance to really raise a banner and show the world what's in my mind and what I can do for this world.

Either way, your empathy is appreciated.