[i]
[color=ec008c]A hero.

Yes. Oh yes. Definitely not a trap. Definitely no cause for alarm. Oh, oh, oh. Swathes of police storming in, and a hero to boot. Definitely worth trusting you, Mr. Letter.

Look at him. Look at his bear-hat. Look at his bear-mantle. Feral, savage, and fearsome. Now look at his build. Nice size. Thick, solid, and tight. Nice pecs, nice triceps. Strong, lean, and bulky. Pretty freakin' huge. Got the body of Hercules and the spirit of Teddy Roosevelt. Got the testosterone to do the job of saving the day, flaunting his manhood, and leaving intense B.O.'s wherever he goes, all simultaneously. 

Now look at the others. Pale and frail. Too much estrogen in their veins, maybe. And salt for that other one. Yet still very determined. Thanks for tricking yourselves to being victims. Now I can sit by and be safe, while the law-men are too busy with you. Keep up the good work, all of you. 

Now better hold myself off. Watch and see what in the hell is actually happening. Y'know, see before do. While they're all distracted. Isn't that right, Mr. Mouse?

And isn't that right, Mr. Officer? 
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...

Some really confused cop is probably staring at a smug-faced, daring bystander girl right now.