[@Wick]

My friends say I'm good with people but they don't know how difficult it is for me, I feel uncomfortable around others even my own family because I know the way i see the world is so very different from how others see it. I never feel comfortable with people if I have to spend too much time with them preferring instead solitude; it’s the reason I am not in a relationship and don’t have any long term ones in my past.


I don’t anger easily because I loathe conflict because it makes me feel on edge because I want to become a monster that slaps it aside and dominates whoever sought to draw out of me such feelings  


I feel as if I am being rude to people if I don’t talk to them and keep it engaging


I also worry that if people knew all the thoughts I have everyday that they’d think I’m crazy which is why I’d normally not even post such a thought here


I do feel bad when I see people suffering and I can’t take their pain as my own and share with them my health which is why I know I could never work in health care


My friends think I’m afraid of Doctors when in fact it is how being around anyone who’s suffering makes me feel and going to hospital or the doctors insures I will encounter them


Sorry if anything I just exposed about myself troubles you but I felt I needed to