[@Grombus] 
Sorry for the wait. Took some time to get multiple people to look things over.

Since Windel puts it best, i'll just convet his words on the matter:


[quote=TheWindel]
First off he needs to format this into paragraphs. Second, he needs to be clear how this guy got into the Nexus. Purple prose is fine but he needs to be clear for the GMs.

Needs to explain what the purpose of the mist going in people does.

His insanity ability is hard to do because aside from NPCs, there's no one weak willed. Unless we say he has to get permission from a character's creator to use it on them.

Needs to explain what a Midnight Shore is.

Needs to explain Dark So Deep.
[/quote]

While we can appreciate making some stylistic decisions, being so vague in a competitive setting isn't doing anyone any favors, so some elaboration would be appreciated.