I decided I had no choice but to write my own.


[hider=Astarte x Vestec]
The Deepwoods were quiet and cool. Beneath the heavy canopy, it was just light enough to see, and just dark enough for fireflies to stand out like flickering candles around the irresistibly soft bank of moss.

"Sooo..." whispered Astarte playfully as she pressed Vestec back against a tree by the shoulder. He moved easily at her touch. "How big is it, toy-boy?"

"Oh, it's huge, my dear," came Vestec's voice as he wrapped an arm around the goddess's waist. "In fact, I'll have you know..." He leaned in, pressing his mask to her ear. [i]"That I only have one leg."[/i] Astarte chuckled sweetly. "Which one?"

A pause.

"Um." Vestec felt suddenly awkward in his pose, arms still around Astarte. "I forget. I mean. It has to be one or the other, right? Shit." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Maybe both."

"Uh."

They stood there for a while, gingerly caught in position, then, at the same time, pulled away. Astarte spoke first.

"So... Yeah."

"Well."

"...Wanna play charades?"

"Yeah, I'm down," shrugged Vestec.

[color=9e0b0f][i]"Y'ALL FUCKERS ARE LEWD,"[/i][/color] shrieked Jvan from orbit, raising a cloud of startled birds from the canopy as the two gods bolted.
[/hider]