[img]http://i.imgur.com/0mML7tq.png[/img] Welcome back! It's night three now. Trumps love quest has been detoured by him shitting in a hole, Boris Johnson's Britain has welcomed the Shifty Kebab Seller with open arms, and Shoryu is shacking up with Betty White. Like Mr Rogers with his javelins, we are whittling down our contestants (while muttering), and the competition is growing thinner. [img]http://i.imgur.com/yKHaPQ0.png[/img] Dat Boi eats berries, but berries are poisonous to frogs. We consign this beloved meme to 2016 now, forever and ever. MSNBC sees Boris Johnson and tries to kill him, most likely mistaking him for Donald Trump who has been stalking MSNBC. But Boris Johnson manages to correct that error, and MSNBC halts its attack. It is at that moment, when MSNBC is blushing and saying its apologies, that Boris Johnson lashes out and kills the cable news network. Now only CNN remains to tell us the news (god help us all). Carrie Fisher mocks Alec Baldwin, but Alec Baldwin doesn't believe that famous people should mock other famous people, and he shoots Carrie Fisher in cold blood. David Bowie cooks his food. The Basket of Deplorables gazes longingly at the night sky. But the world isn't so serene elsewhere. Putin continues his killing spree and kills Stefan Karl Stefansson. It appears that, by killing death, Stefan Karl Stefansson has merely let Putin ascend to the role, and as the new Death, Putin settles the score for his old predecessor. Rodrigo, armed to the teeth, screams up at the night "WHY AM I NOT DAVID BOWIE!?!" The Phantom of the Opera and the Waifu have no interest in violence. He has spent the games having a pleasant time, and she has spent them staring at naked men. They retire for the night together, where he may bathe in perfumed water, and she may watch from the closet. Pokemon GO uses fire, but it failed. Betty White screams for help. Which is worrisome since she is with Shoryu. Perhaps she is simply unaccustomed to civilized life after her two days on that hill? Somebody gives Jill Stein vaccines, much to her annoyance. [img]http://i.imgur.com/C8U8pcQ.png[/img] Okay, I think we can safely say that Shoryu and Mrs White's relationship is breaking down. She is screaming for help in one room while he whittles sticks and mutters in another. Birdie Sanders, who has spent the games mostly hanging out and injuring himself, commits a stunning upset when he takes Trump and burns him for warmth. Trump, having spent the whole day with dysentery, is probably dried out enough to burn easily. Chapa, suffering from performance anxiety after seeing what Birdie did, fails to start a fire. CNN admires Shifty Kebab Seller. Boris let Shifty into Britain, now CNN is admiring Shifty... Everybody loves Shifty! Prince has yet another vision pertaining to 2017 and is again frightened by it. If Prince truly is clairvoyant, we are in trouble. Gary Johnson spends every night in conversation, and tonight is no different. HaleytheRandom had a reason to be scared of Bowser when she ran away from him earlier. He finds her again, and this time she doesn't escape. Bowser, having conquered her little personal village, now ends her life. Hillary fails to start a fire too. Seems like she made one hell of a fire out of Obama earlier in the games, but in his death she seems to have shot her wad. [img]http://i.imgur.com/fZhczka.png[/img] Putin, a man so brutal he replaced death, takes the gentlest of all the tributes and makes him his hunting partner. A Waifu, saddened by the loss to Putin of a man who actually volunteered to spend time with her, injures herself. Prince, having seen the evil 2017 shall bring, starts righting those wrongs. He starts by killing Gary Johnson and Alec Baldwin. What those two will do in the future is known only to Prince. Shoryu takes his javelins from the night before (and maybe Obama's Chu-Ko-Nu) and invades Britain. The flag of Shoryu Magami now flies over the Cornucopia, this being the second time it has changed hands in the game. Clocktower, having had just one conversation with Gary Johnson the night before, wakes up to find he no longer can find Aleppo. Bowser, blood still dripping from the sword he used to slay Haley, runs terrified from Leonardo DiCaprio, so much so that he sprains his ankle in the flight. Jill Stein receives an explosive from somebody, perhaps the same person that sent her medical supplies. They sit in a pile inside her mud hut waiting for use. Something like a quarter of our survivors form a temporary team. David Bowie almost kills Shifty Kebab Seller, but the love that Shifty compels in all living beings stays the hands of his would-be killer, allowing Shifty to survive another day. Chapa might not be able to make fire, but he is able to make a slingshot. Betty White tries to find Aleppo. Is Gary Johnson contagious? His condition prior to death seems to be spreading. The Basket of Deplorables prepares for the next night's fire. That one is pretty anti-climactic. [img]http://i.imgur.com/40PW5f9.png[/img] This is a pretty sad list. It begins with the death of a legend, and ends with the conquest of Britain. With only thirteen still alive, the games are about to speed up toward their finish.