[b]Location: [/b]Low-Velocity Asteroid Kzarkon 3Z, Okarcorp Prison/Mineral Mines
[b]Date:[/b] Did not keep track.

They always asked why Vavnr kept track of every time the bell rang. The bell rang four times a day, and so far, it had rung 1514 times. He had an extensive system of tally marks on the walls of his cell to make sure he wasn't being kept a day over his time. There were so many people, so many corporations that wanted his head, that he wouldn't be surprised if he became one of the permanents. Just one of [i]those[/i] individuals that was never told when they had the right to leave... And was beaten whenever they asked at the wrong time. Vavnr walked up a flight of stairs, to a balcony overlooking the cafeteria. Along this balcony was his cell, where he went to mark the day's second ringing.

It was at that time he met the Warden, standing in front of his cell. The crusty old bat had some pretty interesting security measures. Though he lost his eye and some digits in the process, he managed to beat the hell out of the biggest of his fellow Prison Board Members, who, in turn, he had beat the hell out of his biggest guards, who beat the hell out of the other guards, who beat the hell out of nearly every prisoner over the course of the week. Warden Reott was the Alpha of the entire prison. If the guards couldn't stop you, [i]762 inmates would[/i]. This made it particularly threatening when he showed up, alone, in front of his cell, and asked, "What the hell did you do, you little shit!?" in a tone that was anything but jovial.

"I just finished up my quota for the day-quarter, and I'm working on a hobby I recently picked up. Good afternoon to you too, Warden!"

"I have received word from higher-up..." This was really good. Reott never mentioned anyone being above him, he always wanted to feel like a god among men, bosses interfered with that, "Okarcorp is selling their share of your sentence to the Humans in exchange for trade subsidies and tariff cuts... Cidacorp and Rippacorp have also cashed in."

"Oh? Whatever for?"

"That is what I am asking [i]you[/i], slimeball!" His growl wavered with annoyance Vavnr hadn't ever heard before, "Do not play coy with me!"

"Okay, fine, I'll lay my cards on the table... So to speak, anyway. I don't know what's going on, and the moment I walk out the front gates and try to contact them, you're going to find some minor misdemeanor or something and imprison me again for 1st degree suspicion!"

"The humans seemed aware of this. That is why they offered to sweeten the deal for Okarcorp with an additional 100,000 Units up front. In exchange..." The warden bit his tongue in disgust, "When their representative arrives, you will be considered a Class 4 Okarcorp diplomat for 28 homeworld hours."

"Wow? A diplomat?" Vavnr smiled, however incredulous, "I've[i] always wanted[/i] to be a diplomat! What class of diplomacy was it again?"

"Class [i]4[/i]." The Warden glared down at him with his good eye [i]and[/i] his lack of eye, "Your clock is ticking."

"The representative's here?"

"They sent me to escort you personally."

"I don't need an escort, the law's on my side now." Vavnr said cheerfully. He then smacked his claws into the side of the Warden's face and threw his muzzle hard into the balcony railing.

"VAVNR SAMN, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" shouted the warden, standing up to his full height and swinging blindly around to hit him, "I WILL KILL YOU! YOU ARE DEAD! DEAD LITTLE SHIT!"

"That's not very diplomatic of you! A Class 4 Diplomat could have you [i]imprisoned[/i] for saying things like that during an international event!"

The Warden roared, leaping up into the air, ready to dropkick hooked claws into his chest, but Vavnr ducked  underneath him and spun around, slamming his tail into the Warden's back. His claws were in the Warden's face again, and he pulled the old man to his feet, though he took a few blows to the midsection, leaving small claw tears in his uniform and minor scratches in his hide. The old Warden was scrappy, but definitely not the boxer he used to be.

"You're a gentleman and a scholar, Warden Reott." Vavnr said, "I know we've had our ups and downs together, but I really want you to know, in no uncertain terms, how much of an [i]honor[/i] it's been extracting minerals for you."

Claws were breaking skin over the Warden's jaws as he tried to speak, "Frck... Yoo..."

"It wasn't!" Vavnr said, headbutting the Warden and then tossing him over the railing.

He then took the opportunity to yell "I'M THE ALPHA NOW!" down into the cafeteria as the warden picked himself up and started running, as fast as he could, toward the stairs.

[b]Location:[/b] Chronos Station

Vavnr was in the process of sitting down and setting up a game of solitaire on his lap when the Captain left. Thank goodness he finally stopped talking. Now he could finally converse with cohorts. He looked up from his game so he could subtly cheat.. against himself... And also look at his new co-workers. It was an astounding array of misfits, though it was mostly a colorful assortment of boob-ape lookalikes, it did vary. There were animals, vegetables, and minerals, so it all came full circle. He must have been the token reptile.

It wasn't long before someone was accusing him of murdering again. Well, in this case, he was being accused of hypothetical murder, but it was still good to see that nothing had changed since his time out of prison. He'd like to think he'd be nicer to this fine fungal fellow than this bounty hunter gave him credit for. Prison changes people, after all. Well, it changes people enough to know that sticking one's claws in a forming rift only digs it up further, so maybe it would be best to talk to someone else... The chef! Yes, the chef! That's the one person on a ship that no one argues with!

[i]
"Ladies and gentleman, I am sorry to bother you, but I am the ships chef. So, if there is any dietary requirements you have, anything you are allergic to or anything that you would like me to cook for you, please let me know. Thank you for your time."[/i]
[@CatchPhrase]

"My bowels aren't long enough to digest a salad properly, I'm afraid. It'd be best if I had my vitamins wrapped in animal protein? I'm not sure if your have any vats, but I'm pretty sure as long as you have a variety of animals on hand, I should be fine."


[hider=If one's eyeball were to google him...]

Most of the Kzargettian information on him is limitted at best. The government always keeps the juicy stuff to itself and limits the general populace to just "This criminal is BAAAD!" propaganda. Amid heaps of advetrisement, one might find a Vavnr Samn, who was an alleged "Corporate Bandit", whatever that meant, who murdered and burgled regularly "In his free time", on a scale not explained.

Non-Kzargett planets have him down as a pirate. And a ruthless one. Of course escape pods were filled with live men to tell his tales, but the fatalities were heavy, and about 23 Megafreighters were reportedly looted and burned by none other than Vavnr and his bloodthirsty fleet. During certain months near the beginning and end of his career, when certain freighters stopped surrendering, the survival rate of voyages near his port of call dropped to 10%. He had a hook and everything, the scallywag!

[/hider]