Kijani's fingers were trembling slightly as she gripped Connor's hand. "Activities. Heh. You make it sound like we're joining the chess club, Con." She tried to smile, but it was forced. She stopped trying quickly, staring at empty stage. "It's so easy for you that you don't even realize it. Be a hero. Help people. Do the right thing. Like one plus one, right? Baby stuff."

She brought her hands up to rub at her face, as if that would clear her mind. "I've been told good and evil are outdated concepts. All there is is the work, and methods of getting it done. No method is more proper or good or evil than another, only more effective in getting . Kill a man? Not without the proper clearance and plan. Kill ten, but to save a thousand? If that is the more effective, then yes. Sometimes I wonder, even now, if my gran-" She shook her head rapidly. "If Amanda Waller wasn't right, about some things. Even admitting that makes me want to puke." Her hand in his started to tremble rapidly. "If she's right about that, what else is she right about? What if she's right about m-" She choked on the word as if she really were going to vomit, and bit back a sob. 

What if in the end, Kijani wasn't truly meant for anything? What if all her skill, what she'd worked for, what she'd lived through - what if it meant nothing? No one would take her for a hero, and the thought of being a villain, of becoming like [i]her[/i]... 

She would rather be dead than become that.