[center][h1][color=lightcoral]𝕃 𝕚 𝕝 𝕚 𝕒 𝕟 𝕟 𝕒   𝔹 𝕣 𝕒 𝕟 𝕕 𝕥[/color][/h1]
[img]http://data.whicdn.com/images/47939857/superthumb.jpg[/img][/center]
[hr][center][color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟞, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /   ℂ𝕒𝕞𝕡𝕦𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕣𝕪  / /  𝟙𝟘𝟘𝟘[/color][/center][hr]
The past few days weren't so great for Lily. She spent most of it getting bothered by her stigma, worrying that she had no place in the world and basically just feeling down in the dumps. She didn't even feel like eating even when there was an overflowing supply of donuts. The people she thought could be her friends, she avoided. All thoughts of trying to get to know them and maybe make things better for herself by having friends dashed instantaneously by either her stigma or herself. She wandered around campus, wondering what to do. In this mood, there really wasn't a lot of things that interested her. 

Sleep, maybe. She yawned. She was tired and sleepy. Perhaps it would be best to take it easy today. Maybe find a secluded corner...maybe under a tree or something...or back to her dorm.

The idea was tempting. But then again, sleep ironically tires her out more. With the constant nightmares, there really wasn't any place for rest and relaxation. She shook her head. No. Maybe coffee... that should at least wake her up.

She walked around more, contemplating on getting coffee and trying to avoid people. She failed miserably at the latter, as she had a tendency to lose herself in her daydreams and walk into them. Some were actually used to it by now. She could have sworn she had walked into the same boy five times in two days. He always grinned at her but never said anything. Most were irritated and chastised her. She'd say sorry but then she'd do it again. There was really no use apologizing but she'd do it again and again anyway.

Losing her interest in coffee, her thoughts drifted towards wanting to at least try to do something productive. Yesterday she had spent hours swimming laps in the pool and continued doing so long after everyone else have left. It had been a wonderful exercise, the muscle pains she still had was proof of that. She wondered if she should just head on over to the pool and do some more laps today. She was good at it and if she wanted to keep fit to keep up with everyone, swimming would be it for her. 

But then, she didn't feel like swimming today...

Maybe she should learn more about her powers? How to best manage it, how to get stronger and how to make herself more useful in combat.

Lily nodded. It seemed like a good idea. But where should she start?

[color=lightcoral][i]Should I maybe ask someone for help? The teachers? The Director? That absurdly powerful pink haired boy? I wonder how he got to that point? Was he like us before?[/i][/color] It made sense to ask for help in a school but would these people really help? How would they know how to help her? As far as she knew, she was the only one around with the messed up power that she has. Would the crystal creating boy actually share stuff about himself? Somehow she doubted he'd even talk to her. [color=lightcoral][i]Benediction, maybe?[/i][/color] That last thought sent a thrill through her and almost brought her out of her current mood. But not quite. Like every thought she had, it sounded silly. The Precursor probably had a lot to do than to entertain starstruck teenagers. 

Lily sighed as her feet led her past the Security Outpost. [color=lightcoral][i]How to make myself more useful... Should I learn to maybe injure myself? I can't ask people to keep hurting me, can I? Ugh. That sounds a little morbid, when I think about it. Hey, Marcus, can you shoot me in the leg again please? Yeah, that doesn't right at all. I must have traumatized him a lot. I should---"[/i][/color]

[color=f7976a]"Hey! Watch where you're going!"[/color] shouted a familiar, angry male voice.

Lily looked up and found herself staring at the irritated face of the same USARILN guard she collided with a few nights ago. He was holding a half finished donut. [color=lightcoral]"Oh, it's you,"[/color] she said in a flat tone of voice.

[color=f7976a]"Oh, it's you? What's wrong with you kid? You like walking into people? This is your second time crashing into me. Are you looking for trouble?"[/color] the guard demanded, his eyes narrowing as he took an uncharacteristically large bite on the half donut he was holding.

[color=lightcoral]"Maybe,"[/color] Lily shrugged nonchalantly. If she was in a better mood, she would have laughed at how the guard tried to finish off his donut as quickly as he could. [color=lightcoral]"Don't choke yourself. I'm not taking your donut this time,"[/color] the dull eyed girl said in a similarly flat tone as she continued walking past the guard.

The guard coughed, thoroughly embarrassed. He would have shouted at the girl but all he could really do was stare incredulously at her as she walked past. 

Lily soon found herself in the library. It appeared that her feet knew where best to take her even if she hadn't made up her mind yet. It was certainly convenient and she found no fault in it. But now that she was there, several more questions came to mind. Where should she start? Biology books maybe? 

[i]You're serious about hurting yourself? You're that desperate to make yourself useful to people who aren't even interested in becoming your friends?[/i]

The same mocking voice in her head.

[color=lightcoral][i]What do you care?[/i][/color]

[i]No one cares.[/i]

Trying to ignore the mocking tone in her head, she looked around and her eyes fell on two familiar faces. Siena, her team mate and fellow Benediction fan, was talking to a white haired boy. Lily didn't know his name but she recognized him from orientation. He didn't look particularly friendly but her initial thought was to say hi all the same. Siena had been, after all, nice to her.

[color=lightcoral][i]Or was it just because of our shared interest in Benediction?[/i][/color]

Lily sighed at the thought and ultimately decided to duck into a nearby aisle sandwiched between two book filled shelves instead. She reached up as high as she could and randomly took a book.

[i][b]Night Watch (Ночной дозор)[/b] - by Sergei Lukyanenko[/i]

[color=lightcoral][i]Hmmm...[/i][/color] She flipped the book to look at the back cover. [color=lightcoral][i]...confrontation between two opposing supernatural groups...Looks interesting.[/i][/color] Golden eyes gleaming with curiosity, she sat down onto the floor indian style and flipped open to page 1.

Hours later, Lily walked out of the library, Night Watch and the next book, Day Watch, clutched against her chest.

[hr][center][color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /  𝕃𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝔹𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℤ  / /  𝟘𝟡𝟘𝟘[/color][/center][hr]
The next day found Lily in the same depressed mood. Not being able to sleep well because of her nightmares (and probably made worse by her disorder), she had gotten up early, showered and changed. Using the bathroom so early in the morning wasn't a bad idea. No one was there. There were no lines and no waiting. And she had the place all to herself. 

After her bath, she went back to her room and laid on the bed, wet hair and all.

She was staring glumly at the ceiling of her room, wondering for the nth time who Sebastian was. Although she had actually remembered her face during that one time in battle, she couldn't remember it now. All she had was a name. She was contemplating on asking around if anybody knew a Sebastian when a guard came to her room and roughly told her to move out by gesturing with his rifle. 

Lily complied, finding no strength in actually trying to resist or even ask where she was being led to. A battle again, maybe? There were no announcements. She looked down at her ankle cuff. It hadn't turned blue like it had before. So, probably not?  

Like a meek sheep, she let herself be herded with everyone else into what looked to be a classroom with bare walls and only the bare necessities. [color=lightcoral][i]Classroom. So we're suppose to be learning stuff after all. I thought we were just here to be sent to battle anytime they felt like sending us,[/i][/color] she thought. [color=lightcoral][i]Well, a school's a school after all. I hope there aren't too many homeworks. I don't any more paperworks.[/i][/color] She silently found her seat beside the window, barely noticing who sat around her. As soon as she sat down, she didn't bother inspecting her table like what most would have done. She stared blankly at the schedule posted on the board. [color=lightcoral][i]Ugh. Calculus and Physics.[/i][/color] She wrinkled her nose in distaste and then promptly turned her attention out the window. 

[color=lightcoral][i]It would be nice to be out there in the sun instead of being cooped up in a stuffy place like this one.[/i][/color] 

She only turned her attention back towards the front of the classroom when a male voice began speaking. The words floated meaninglessly in her mind. [i]Fred, Ms. April Rivera, Math, Presents.[/i] She turned her dull golden eyes towards the cheerful new addition to their classroom. [color=lightcoral][i]A long list...[/i][/color] she repeated the words in her head and then looked around. Did they get her what she asked for? 

[i]'More Donuts, My memories and Sebastian.'[/i] Those were what she wrote. She stopped looking around. It was absurd to expect anything. Was she actually expecting to see a golden haired boy walk into the classroom? Maybe a folder narrating specifics about her past life before she came to USARILN? And the donuts...she didn't even want to eat. 

Silently, she watched as her classmates received the things they asked for. Electronics, musical instruments, bags, boxes, pens, toys, weapons... USARILN was more generous than she had imagined.

Seeing everyone receive stuff while she got nothing only made her sink lower in her depression. Maybe she should have asked for stuff after all. That should at least give her something to do than just gawking at everybody. She sighed inwardly and settled for sorting through her desk, at the supplies placed in there. She looked at the notebooks, the schedule and the pens with a bored expression on her face. [color=lightcoral][i]This is all I'm getting today. Better than nothing, I guess.[/i][/color] She didn't bother looking up anymore as she took out one of the notebooks and a pen.

The next few hours was spent with Lily doodling random words her teacher said, not really paying attention to what was actually being taught as she lost herself time and again in her disturbing daydreams. 

When Fred came back in and announced lunch, Lily automatically put the notebook and pen aside and silently got up to head for the dining hall. 

[hr][center][color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟟, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /  𝔹𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔻: 𝔻𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕝  / /  𝟙𝟚𝟘𝟘[/color][/center][hr]
Getting to the dining hall was remarkably easy as Lily managed not to bump into anyone despite the fact that everyone was making their way towards it. It was probably thanks to her grumbling tummy that she actually paid attention to where she was going. Once there, she decided that she'd at least a little bit more than what she had been eating the past few days. Her stomach rumbled in agreement and she fell in line behind a chattering pair of girls. They didn't pay any attention to her and in return she didn't eavesdrop on whatever they were giggling about. 

She took a plate with a clubhouse sandwich on it, two chocolate glazed donuts and a bottle of apple juice. [color=lightcoral][i]Donuts,[/i][/color] she thought a little cheerily as she looked around for somewhere to sit. Not wanting to encounter so many people or make any small talk with anyone, she chose a small table tucked in a corner. She sat alone and silently ate her food, careful to keep her head down so that she didn't draw attention to herself.

[hider=OOC]
Catch up post finished! :sun I'll try to post a bit more after the next update.
[/hider]