[center][img]https://i.imgur.com/TjytTdM.png[/img][/center]
After Emma fled from the cafeteria she found a quiet corner to decompress in before class started. It would be a good place to cry, she thought, but she didn't feel like doing that right now. She didn't feel sad, more disgusted by the way she had acted. The right combination of insecurities were hit for her to be someone she didn't want to be. She had pitted Marcus against Ernie so easily. That wasn't right, or fair. Cal was just joking around with her roommate and she had wanted to scoop her eyeballs out. She was never really sure if violent urges like that were because of her Stigma or not. And Siena... well, she had seen so plainly through her carefully crafted facade. Siena was instantly able to tell that she was...

[color=8A3DFF][i]A manipulative bitch... just like Riley, huh?[/i][/color] 

Most people had emotional baggage, but Emma had always sarcastically remarked that hers was more like a baggage train. More true than she would've liked to let on, she thought. Also more true than most people might assume, although that was rapidly becoming less and less true with the number of budding psychoanalysts at USARILN East. If she had baggage than it was tightly packed, but not in a neat way. No, more like shoved in an about to burst. Like someone who had to leave last minute, which she saw as entirely appropriate. 

[color=8A3DFF][i]Like I'm fleeing.[/i][/color]

And she really had been fleeing, hadn't she? First from her shitty dad, then her shitty girlfriend, and then from the fact that she'd tried to kill herself only, what, a couple of weeks ago? It felt like a lifetime to her. She hadn't so much as thought about it except for that time in the tunnels below the medical building, and that was... well, Emma wasn't sure what that was. A sign that she was starting to crack? Had cracked? She [i]felt[/i] like she was crazy. No, she almost certainly [i]had[/i] to be crazy. No one reacts to a sight like that by laughing- that's something someone who is going insane in a bad movie would do. No sane person could suddenly just fit into USARILN East, hell, be enthusiastic about it even. And there was the Stigma- her Stigma, that is. Her thoughts, not just a voice in her head... or were they? It was so damn hard to tell. Ever since that one morning in her dorm they'd been constantly intermingling in her head with her own feelings. The urge for violence against both others and herself, the constant reminders of all her shortcoming and failures. It came stronger and was harder to drive away. 

[color=8A3DFF][i]Everything's too much to handle, isn't it?[/i][/color]

She felt like she was breaking into pieces and she was scrambling to hold them all together. Inevitably, she knew, there would be way too many to hold onto. And one day, probably sooner than later, she'd lose her grip on all of them and-

She didn't want to think about that and. She wanted to go back to who she had felt like at lunch before she turned into whoever the hell she had been. She liked feeling like she had friends. She liked Cal, Ernie, and Siena. Marcus... well, he was Marcus. She'd barely met him and she was hook, line, and sinker. He made her smile and he was cute and he made her feel like a complete idiot for being so ready to buy in on someone she hardly knew. She really was an idiot, wasn't she? Some would call her a hopeless romantic, but she thought that was stupid. She was gullible. She knew that she should know better than to be so invested in people she barely knew. 

But all the same here she was. 

It probably didn't matter anyway. Emma doubted Siena would warm up towards her after what had happened, and she had absolutely no doubt that would deteriorate her relationship with Callan and Marcus. She'd effectively made herself look like a bitch to that whole trio of roommates. That's what she had thought, at least. Overthinking situation like she always had. There was also Ernie- if he picked up on the fact that she was flirting with him, well... she didn't want him to get the wrong idea. He seemed nice but...

She didn't know what the but was. That she had a date that was probably shot by now?

Her phone buzzed. It hadn't buzzed since she had started blocking her old contacts- it was too much hassle to reply to everyone asking her about the rumors that she'd rampaged around town before being picked up by USARILN. [color=8A3DFF][i]That's bullshit, by the by,[/i][/color] she commented internally. She was excited by the vibration in her pocket- there was the possibility that it was Val, who she'd given up hope on contacting. Or maybe her parents, depending on which ones that might even be a good thing. Or maybe it was Marcus. That was probably hoping for too much.

No one important, she realized as she glanced at the name. One of Riley's old friends. She sighed to herself. She glanced at the clock on her phone as she placed it back in her pocket. [color=8A3DFF][i]Shit, gotta get back to class[/i][/color] She realized. She didn't feel up to this one.

[hr]

Emma did her absolute best not to acknowledge anyone in the class, particularly those she just had lunch with. She'd try to avoid confrontation for as long as possible, hopefully forever. [color=8A3DFF][i]I doubt Marc's going to call me to grab a drink now, huh?[/i][/color] She took her seat. As she was handed the form for electives she brightened ever so slightly- her smile has long since left her face, but at least this was something to take her mind off of things. She neatly wrote her name on the form, and then began to order the class.

[hider=Electives]
Art/Photography 1
Creative Writing 3
Woodworking 5
P.E.8
Film Study 4
Music Theory 2
Home Ec 7
Computer Science 6
[/hider]
 
Emma placed the sheet on the corner of her desk. She'd been tuning out Fred and paying attention to the sheet. What was he talking about? [color=8A3DFF][i]Oh.[/i][/color] She frowned. She'd already been enough of a disappointment on the battlefield. Now that she knew the importance of her powers, which was apparently very high according to Ernie, she hated being so far below expectoration. It got even worse as she saw her team- Brent was undoubtedly going to admonish her if she didn't perform well, given the fact that he'd come to her dorm and dropped off a cardio routine for her to follow after her disappointing performance on the track. There was also Ernie, which would undoubtedly be very awkward after lunch. She didn't know Savannah, so at least she got to meet someone new?

She sighed.

There was also the fact that she was against her roommates. No small matter- Lawrence was experienced and could probably kick her ass, and she doubted that Hazel would be too remorseful about punching her face in if that was her mission. And even if by some miracle Emma beat them that probably wouldn't help their camaraderie as roomies. 

[color=8A3dff][i]This is going to [b]suck[/b].[/i][/color]

[hr]

Teams Three and Four were taken into the security outpost to watch the first two teams with Daisy. Emma liked Daisy, even though her exposure to her had been limited- she exuded the vibe of 'cool big sister' in a way that almost matched Val. [color=8A3DFF][i]Well, no one can match Val, but Miss Daisy is probably in second from what I've seen.[/i][/color] At least she didn't have to go first. As the group walked in Emma gave Lawrence and Hazel a brief glance and an apologetic smile. A look of 'sorry we're not on the same team' that she assumed Hazel probably wouldn't pick up on and Lawrence would pick up all too well on. At the very least she was glad that she didn't have to wait with the trio of Marcus, Siena, and Cal. That awkwardness was spared- fighting with or against them would be a practical hell for her. [color=8a3dff][i]That would've sucked big time.[/i][/color] She sighed. All she could do was watch. For now she grabbed a cookie and waited for the 'battle' to start.


[hider=Mentions]
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There is the briefest mention of Lawrence and Hazel in the paragraph right above this hider. 
[/hider]