I am finally awake, now down to business! Good start on your sheet, we don't have much in the way of stealthy characters right now. Well, we did, but the roleplayer abandoned us so I killed his character off.

[@Norschtalen]

Name: "Fortunate Aisha"? Is that what people call her, or what she calls herself? If it's the former, why do they call her that? If it's the latter, it takes a special kind of big-head to give oneself a nickname like that.

Picture: There is literally nothing "Redguard" about that picture. The skin is tanned, the facial structure is clearly caucasian, and the hair and eyes are not dark enough, unless she were albino. The picture would be fine for a Nord, or Imperial at a push. If you want to keep her Redguard race, change the picture and description in her appearance section.

Appearance: I'd like to point out there is nothing practical about her outfit, not in the world she'll be living in. Feel free to keep it, by all means - but it's not practical in the least. Akaviiri is an extremely dead language, and no tattooist would know it. If they did, they would be a scholar, not a tattooist. Also, cute mention of the Face Sculptor. Please remove it; she does not exist in this game, and it seems irrelevant to mention in the appearance section unless Aisha actually had appearance-altering surgery. Which wouldn't happen. Because the Face Sculptor does not exist right now.

Personality: Those two paragraphs seem to disagree with each other. Does she have a split personality? She mindlessly murders people, but prays to the Divines. Is kind to most, but as soon as she starts working she becomes dark and ruthless? And the link with the backstory here brings us back to the crux of the problem: her being an assassin.

Backstory: The first obvious problem with this is that Aisha cannot be an assassin. If she is taking contracts (You haven't stated who from, either), she is a threat to the Dark Brotherhood. You even point out in your backstory that she starts looking for rumours of those contacting the Night Mother and performing the Black Sacrament in order to find new customers. Do you honestly think the Assassin's Guild would allow jobs to be taken from right under their noses? Aisha would be dead before she could cry "murder". On the other hand, if you decide to change this from Aisha not taking contracts, but killing of her own accord, then she would be nothing more than a murderer or serial killer, and not an assassin.

[quote] And while the priestess did not want her adopted daughter to go down that path, inadvertently she taught her the sort of mindset needed for that line of work.[/quote]

How? How on earth could that happen? This Priestess has turned from a life of crime and embraced the Divines - it would only make sense that she would act accordingly to her new role. Saying that Aisha accidentally picked up a mindset from a Priestess that would no longer have that mindset is impossible. Furthermore, the issue with being an assassin stands with Aisha's adopted mother as well as Aisha herself. How could she be such a successful assassin without incurring the wrath of the Dark Brotherhood of Morag Tong?

[quote]SHe was scared at first, but soon she learned how to dance circles around even the most seasoned warriors and take them out with simply blows to the legs, body, or chin.[/quote]

Oh, she managed to take down "seasoned warriors" without any training whatsoever in self defence or combat? Surely you can see how ridiculous this is - if you're going to have her do these things, she needs to be trained by someone. Fighting or hand-to-hand is a skill that one can pick up by themselves, but over years of failing. If she tried this she'd probably be dead.

[quote] Instead Aisha did some research and learned how to make poisons. Simple things with what she could find around the city, and occasionally the countryside. She practiced her "Cooking" at the tavern she still worked out, and occasionally went out "Hunting" for materials. It wasn't long before she simply managed to lace one of the apples being served to the man with poison, killing him two hours later as he convulsed to death in his bathroom.[/quote]

Alchemy is not a skill one can be self-taught at beyond perhaps the novice stage. Sure, books would tell you recipes, but Alchemy is a precise art that you need training in. Also, she get's into the Nobleman's house how? There are a lot of things happening in her backstory that just aren't backed up with the skills required to do such tasks.

As the issues with her "job" still stand, if taking that away she would not have enough money to purchase 2 horses and a "Decorated, armoured wagon". Especially with the locks you put on them. Master-level locks that can only be opened with a Bound Dagger? And which enchanter did she pay vast amounts of money to to make something that complex? (And pointless - it's fairly easy to summon a dagger if you know your way around Conjuration.)

Skills: Myself and my Co-GM believe that she is far too young to be an expert in anything, especially without any training or help. Put up her age by a good few years and give her training in her backstory, and she can keep both of those skills. However, it's called "Marksman" and not "Archery".
It'll be "One-Handed Blade", not just "One-Handed."
Illusion, Alchemy, Conjuration - as mentioned above, she needs to have had training in these skills. A teacher or some kind.
"Translating". What exactly can she translate? And who taught her it?


Inventory: As above, the issues with her alchemy and cart need to be rectified in her backstory to allow her to have them. Also, "She also has a "Rage" poison that can cause people to go into a berserker rage even if they normally aren't violent or even strong." Will have to be removed. There is not an ingredient in Cyrodiil at this time that has a rage or frenzy effect. While they do exist in Skyrim, as with spells, we won't be using anything from the game of Skyrim.



As it stands, a lot around your character's backstory needs to be changed to make everything else work. Now, we don't have a problem with a stealthy character; but from what we see now, Aisha probably wouldn't last very long in the Planes of Oblivion. She has no armour, no protective spells, doesn't like "face-to-face-combat", and her only ranged spell is that of a thrown, conjured dagger. Her personality makes me wonder why she'd join a group of do-gooders - who would be very likely to send her to the authorities or just kill her upon finding out about her "hobby" - to try and save the world? Psychopaths don't care about stuff like that. You need to put forward a character that has a decent reason to be risking their lives to save Tamriel (The reasoning doesn't have to be that hard - for example, my character enjoys the learning experience of spelunking into the Deadlands. That's literally it.), and also one that could actually survive against the forces of Dagon.