It was fantastic, I love the last line. "Please. Resist if you dare." Like a medieval duke nukem line.

Also .. ""No, you look like a dog got drunk and mated with one of the ugliest crabs in existence," I damn near pissed myself. 
[img=http://oi57.tinypic.com/11l0cjn.jpg]
Great post ^ ^ Looking forward to this one so far.