Going to leave a blunt message; has nothing to do with the rp. [hider= Read at your own desecration][1:25:11 PM] Mr.Svent: So, going to be extremely open for a second, and going to be real with everyone. [1:25:23 PM] Ryan: hmm? [1:25:39 PM] Mr.Svent: I might have sabotaged my body for years now. (I don't mean like being overly hot.) [1:26:24 PM] Reagan: sabotaged your own body? [1:26:30 PM] Mr.Svent: But I've had problems as far as the age of 16 where I been taking Behydril as a means of a way to sleep despite my insomnia. [1:26:36 PM] Mr.Svent: I also take it when stressed [1:26:43 PM] Mr.Svent: Or when depressed [1:27:04 PM] Mr.Svent: Mostly because I suffer from depression and anxiety. [1:27:19 PM] Mr.Svent: Need to justify design choices, or my perspective on things. [1:27:23 PM] Reagan: I'm basically leaving my body to give up itself [1:27:30 PM] Mr.Svent: So I've always been a wreck. [1:27:36 PM] Mr.Svent: But the problem is [1:27:44 PM] Mr.Svent: I take the medicine in large doses. [1:27:51 PM] Mr.Svent: 2 to 3 pills at a time. [1:28:00 PM] Mr.Svent: And these things dehydrate your brain. [1:28:07 PM] Mr.Svent: Not the good kind. [1:28:22 PM] Mr.Svent: I potentially have been hurting myself, while being unaware. [1:28:47 PM] Mr.Svent: Either because of stress, depression, anxiety and so on. Not having fun. [1:28:50 PM] Mr.Svent: Or just a bad day. [1:29:01 PM] Mr.Svent: This has been going on for years. [1:29:52 PM] Mr.Svent: I'm basically saying I probably fucked myself up in ways I'm not even aware of. [1:30:28 PM] Mr.Svent: I'm probably unintentionally killing myself as a result is what I'm saying. [1:30:36 PM] Mr.Svent: So.... Ta-da. [1:30:48 PM] Ryan: Chris... [1:30:54 PM] Reagan: shit... Basically I kinda have a huge problem. I stopped taking the medication as of yesterday. But it is still a struggle. It doesn't help that I have a hard time communicating due to Autism. (I have some form of it, like I fear I made it worse due to that form of abuse as you may have read) some of my post I look at and go "This is pretty bad... At least I think so." Maybe that is just paranoia. [/hider]