[@liferusher]

[hider=Mui Rei review]
So for the fathers job, I'd like to know what exactly his job is. It still isn't clear what he actually does with the flowers, which is important, especially if his company is so large that it caters to clients from all over. A little clarification there please.

Next is her home life. Why is she home alone, doing all these things by herself? If her parents own such a large and successful company, I'd assume they can afford a nanny or babysitter for their child. And why leave her with the aunt or grandmother if they were too busy to care for her besides meals? We've had issues with this before in characters, but if they have such a taxing work schedule, why don't they have some form of child care provider for her? Nannies and babysitters aren't hard to come across, some people even have a live in nanny. It just doesn't make sense to me for her to be left to her own devices if her parents have the means of providing for her.

And what exactly made her parents suddenly realize they were neglecting her? Most people don't just suddenly notice things they hadn't before, especially if this was habit for them. And I don't think that her relationship with her parents could be fixed by a few vacations and some affection. Is there no bad blood there? No bitterness? This is a child, how does she feel about her parents, especially if they did leave her alone for years.

Next, I'm confused as to why she's at St. Fortuna's in the first place. St. Fortuna's isn't just a luxurious school, it's one of the best in the entire country. Not only is it expensive, it's incredibly hard to get into it, and usually only people who really want to be there get in. Does Mui have any reason to be there other than the possibility of helping her father in his job? If she could go to any other school, why St. Fortuna's? It doesn't seem like she has any pressing reason to be here, other then she found it and thought it looked cool.

One last little thing, we don't have Christmas here. The religion is mainly based off of Wicca, with some changes to suit the universe. As such, the holidays are based off of the wheel of the year, with some holidays from other pagan religions thrown in.

Oh, and for the baseball club, student run clubs are fine, but keep in mind St. Fortuna's doesn't have any school funded sports teams, so students would have to organize it themselves, on their own time.

All in all, we just need some clarification and a few tweaks. Thank you in advance!
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