Alright [@Spoopy Scary], your revision are good. 

One more thing to note is the timeline of the Kamal invasion. Windhelm was attacked on the 4th, and the Kamals took it on the 7th. It would take at least one day for the news to reach Amol, which means the earliest time Wylendriel can be there is the 8th. After that, her loop to back to Whiterun should take around 5 days. Assuming she makes her entrance on the 26th (tomorrow IC-wise), she would have just under 20 days total for the latest portion of her journey. You may want to establish a timeline of her travel in your sheet.

You did a nice job on those edits. There's one simple (but effective) line in particular that I like for foreshadowing and summing up your character's struggles.

[quote=@Spoopy Scary]Turns out she has a much harder time with making things go away than she does with making things stay.[/quote]