Josephine inhaled as the weight of the Scourge Beast was launched from her back and she was finally able to catch her breath. It took a long moment to process what had happened before she could pull herself up onto her elbow and get her bearings. Already, Edmund stood over the dead corpses of all four beasts, two which he had effortlessly slain in her stead. Once again, she relied on him to save her from a monster too powerful for her to fight. Why..? Why did she yearn so desperately to impress him? She looked to the headless beast and her gaze fixed itself upon the pool of crimson blood as it glimmered in the moonlight. There was a certain feeling of sanguine relief filled her chest for the briefest of moments. Men like Edmund made the world safe - made her safe - and she couldn't so much as muster the strength to do the same. She pulled her knees up to her chest, now slumped on the ground on all fours. The young woman rose only slightly so that she was on her hands and not her elbows, eyes downcast. Kael's celebration was worse than nails against a blackboard, but the real agony began upon hearing Edmund's words. The knot forming in her stomach grew tighter. He was disappointed, but not angry... He didn't sound angry. Perhaps he had been hopeful for their strength and they had let him down, or she had made the wrong choice in disobeying to prove herself. It didn't make a difference. Saliva began to build at the back of her throat, drowning her tongue abnormally fast. She knew what was coming - the young apprentice braced herself as her back curled upward. A wretched noise escaped her as she dry heaved once... then a second time. And finally, her vomit splashed against the ground, racking her body with convulsions. Tears began to stream down her cheeks, stinging her eyes sharply. Another wave of nausea overcame her as she released another, slightly smaller torrent of bile. Josephine spit at the ground a few times to try clearing the taste from her mouth. She shook softly with a sob before finally letting Edmund help her onto her feet. She looked longingly at her sword as her master offered it to her, but didn't reach for it at first. She hadn't earned such a right - the right to wield it, the right to defend herself. Everything burned... Her muscles and bones from the fight, her eyes from the tears which she was desperately fighting, her throat from the acid which she'd lost, and her nostrils from the putrid stench in the air. Finally, the woman took her weapon back and sheathed it at her hip, finally speaking for the first time. "Kael did not almost get me killed today, Master Edmund..." Her voice was soft and quivered slightly, but she tried her best to get the words out. "I am the only one to blame for my choices. If I died today, it would have been my fault. If you've taught me anything, it's that you reap what you sew, and I sealed my fate with arrogance... with pride." She shot a venomous glare to Kael as he continued trying to argue. She already felt like a beaten puppy, but Kael only prodded their teacher further to berate them, because clearly he didn't understand the gravity of the situation. When he was done shouting and got their affirmatives to his direction, she stepped up to Kael, her face only inches from his. "Until you've felt... one of those [i]things[/i] breathing on your neck... tackling you... until you've truly been left to [i]die[/i] by a man you consider your brother... a man you trust to watch your back and keep you safe... You don't know the true meaning of the word 'almost.' 'Almost' is a word of weakness... a word of incompetence... a word that means [b]death[/b] out here, Kael. Shoot with your bow all you like, you don't know how it felt down here..." She marched after Edmund, doing whatever he asked and helping any way she could. ----- Josephine flailed violently, snapping to consciousness and quickly rising from her position on the bed. She was panting heavily while her eyes darted around the room in terror. She'd woken up before screaming again, thankfully... Some nights she really ruined the other apprentices' sleep with it... She felt guilty every time. Her mind raced as it quickly forgot the night terror. Rubbing her eyes, Josephine turned and placed her feet on the wooden floor. She picked up a short, plated candlestick with a wax candle and lit the wick, holding it out in front of her. The moon couldn't light the windowless barracks under the main workshop. As she rose, Josephine noticed that Kael's bed was empty... Where was he? With a shake of her head, the young woman retrieved her Rakuyo from her footlocker and her coat. Dressed in just a short nightgown that extended to just above her knees, Josephine knew it would be cold if she didn't cover up at least slightly. She began climbing the ladder to the ground floor and pushed herself up through the hatch. She looked around with her head poking up out of the hole, frowning... Nothing seemed to be out of place. "Master Edmund..?" She whispered, closing the door behind her as she started down the hall which lead to his room. She knocked on the door, "Master Edmund..?" The woman called again, raising her voice slightly. He wasn't there, but there was a light softly flickering from his study. After reaching the room, Josephine stepped inside and looked around. She'd actually never been in here, certainly not without him, but there was almost an entire library. Having expected her teacher to be here, she was rather surprised to find a slightly tattered leather bound book laying open on his desk, a quill resting inside of an inkwell nearby. Upon closer examination, she found it was his journal and her eyes went wide as she began reading, unable to resist the urge.