Upon seeing the aliens disappear, the knightly knights rejoiced with a jolly cheer, embracing one another with the greatest of fervor. From afar they looked like a bunch of gleeful highschool girls, but no, they were all manly individuals (Seriously, can somebody tell me if there's any women? I seriously can't tell through the armor...).

However, there was one who did not rejoice, for he had seen what no other had. He swears he saw it, the one, the only, the man, the [i][b][color=White]B[s]e[/s]y[/color][color=Gray][s]o[/s][/color][color=Black]nd[s]e[/s]r[/color][/b][/i] even they are meaningless...

What did this mean? The knight wondered, but not before he started screaming and waving his arms about wildly, as if to alert his jolly troupe. And then, as if he had meant to alert them, his cheerful comrades turned to face him with inquisitive looks upon their face-plates.

"Wait! This victory was not our own! I saw it! I saw him! The Pillar of Scale hath revealed themselves! It is as foretold in the scrolls of old! The Old Get Kidstament was right! He was here! I saw what he did! The [i][b][color=White]B[s] e [/s]y[/color][color=Gray][s] o [/s][/color][color=Black]nd[s] e [/s]r[/color][/b][/i] was here! I saw him with my own two eyes! It was he who vanquished the alien invaders! Not our mad-ass breakdancing skillz, yo!"

For a moment, his armored companions seemed to believe the speaker, but then they broke out into uproarious laughter, some of them slapping their knees, some rolling on the floor, some of them laughing so hard their ass-plates fell off - how embarrassing. It was not until one man spoke that the laughter stopped. "[b][i]Enough![/i][/b]" He yelled, and the crusading knights parted to reveal his figure. It was none other than the mighty Leonidas, king of (Old) Sparta. Not to be confused with Leonidas, king of (New) Sparta, though the two looked remarkably similar. Sounded similar too. In fact... they were kind of hard to tell apart... were they the same person? Maybe... they weren't twins, at least... that much is common knowledge...

Anyways, the mighty king stepped forth, wearing little more than what appeared to be briefs, his built A F body exposed for all to see. "[i][b]Why you always lyin' Phil? We won this shit hard A F, and you wanna take that away from us? All of the Pillars are supposed to be asleep for at least another thirty minutes or so, Phil, are you stupid A F or something?[/b][/i]" The godly warrior king spoke, totally dissing and pissing all over Phil, that ass-hat of a knight mentioned earlier by the Knight Leader, let's call him "Leader", who called him out rightfully so.

Phil lowered his helmet and his head, as the helmet was still on his head, and kicked the dirt. "I swear I saw it..." He mumbled, poking his index fingers together as he looked away.

"[i][b]That's enough, Phil! I've had enough of your shit and I LEGITERALLY just met you! You there! Leader![/b][/i]" The majestically merciful king Leonidas spoke as he scratched his mighty ass. "[i][b]Teach this lowly knight a lesson about the weight of his heresy, in the Way of Memerae.[/b][/i]" The king of sexy warrior men commanded.

"[i]Aye, sir.[/i]" Leader said, marching his way up to Phil, who dropped to his knees and hung his head low, pleading for mercy.

"No! No, no, please! Anything but that! I swear I saw him! You must believe me! I saw him, I swear! Don't do this to me! Please! I BEG YOU SIR! PLEASE DON'T -!" Before Phil could finish his hysterical and heretical cries for [s]help[/s] traitorous assistance, Leader had promptly unscrewed his pommel and thrown it at Phil's head, ending him rightly. No, no, he wasn't dead. What are you? Bloodthirsty angsty teenagers or something? Gawd...

ANYWAYS, Leader gestured for two other knights to come flip Phil onto his back and to keep him restrained should his dignity reawaken, while he himself crouched down beside Phil's body and reached into his dagger sheath. From within he drew his mightiest weapon, a permanent pink marker, and removed the cap. "[i]You brought this upon yourself, child. For the weight of your heresy, I hereby sentence you to the lowest of punishments... weebification.[/i]" Leader spoke, and began drawing on Phil's helmet.

A few moments later, Leader stood, and swiftly turned his back on the prone Phil, walking away into the crowd of knights shaking his head in disappointment. Upon Phil's face-plate could now be seen anime-styled blush marks, and a soft crying sound could be heard as the crowd of knights around him slowly dissipated.

What a crybaby. At least HE has a body, unlike me. Bitch has the nerve...

[i]Just... let it go Narry... let it go...[/i] You're the narrator. You da best. Yeah... I'm the best! Let's get on to the fun to be had! (Except for Phil who shall have to sit in time-out and miss out on all the fun)

[hr]
It wasn't but a few hours later that the army of knightly crusaders returned to their jolly state, with DJ pumping out some more sick beats from his ol' boombox.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHgNXBP_Jwc&t=1674s[/youtube]

Many of the knights were dancing wildly, their armor clanking to the groove, creaking to the beat, and reverberating with the righteous melodies that echoed through the city streets. Some knights stood in a line to get some food from the knightly cooks, serving knightly barbecue, such as your average fare BBQ and the heavenly Peanut-Butter-And-Tuna-Cat-Jelly-Bologna sandwich, and many flavors of knightly drinks, such as Sunny-D and 100% Recycled Pickle Juice Concentrate, at this knightly rave. After all, only the lowest of knaves wouldn't know that a knightly rave required knightly barbecue, knightly melodies, and knightly drinks like Sunny-D.

On the dance floor, Leonidas, king of (old) Sparta was getting down, his abs glistening with the sweat of a godly workout, a workout only achievable through intense celebratory dancing. With the hunk of a king was Leader, who was clearing the dance floor with his legendary "Robot" and "Sprinkler" dance moves, all of his fellow knights cheering him on.

In the line at the concession stand was a knight who appeared to be ablaze, but was completely unaware of the fact that they were on fire, and while everyone else just stared awkwardly with their eye-slits this knight carried on. They hummed along to the heavenly melody assaulting the eardrums of all in the City of Walls upon Walls upon Walls upon Walls upon Walls upon etc. Until it was finally their turn to order.

"I'll have... hmm... what'll I have... the Rackh of Crib Ribs with some Soil Sauce, and some Recycled Pickle Juice Concentrate? Nah... I've probably had enough fatty foods this week, need to cut back a little... ohh, but this is supposed to be a celebration, should I splurge? Maybe... but what if I bust a bolt in my armor? Then I'll not get to crusade... what about the Tuna-Cat sandwich and some Sunny-D? How many calories are in those?" The knight asked, as the armored cook seemed to just blankly stare back.

"Uh... I'm pretty sure you can burn the calories off." The knightly cook replied, prompting a second cook to chuckle and a third to elbow the first in the back. "Uh, right. Larry, you know you're on fire right?" The cook said blankly.

"Oh, you're probably right" The knight, or Larry, as we just learned, replied. They seemed to ignore the bit about the fire though, as they looked back at the menu. "In that case, I think I'll have the Rackh of Crib Ribs with some Soil Sauce... a Peanut-Butter-and-Tuna-Cat-Jelly-Bologna sandwich with some Soil Sauce... a Side of Silent Lamb, with... ooh, some of that limited time Begotten Relish... aaaand... some Rainbow Cookies for dessert, I guess I may as well splurge a little." They said, as all three of the crusader cooks stopped to stare as Larry's armor began to turn black.

"Uh... what would you like to drink?" The first cook asked, as the third elbowed the first in the back again. "Oh, right! Larry you're on fire! Your armor is turning black!"

"What would I like to drink? Hmm..." Larry began, as the other knights in line began growing impatient. "Can I get a Kamikaze?" Larry requested, and the first cookly knight gave a sigh before doing as they were asked. Just as they finished filling up the drinking cup, the third cookly crusader gave them a soft but swift smack on the back of the first's helmet. "Oh! Right!" He declared, hurrying over and tossing the liquid on Larry to douse out the fire. The third cook facepalmed, and Larry looked down at their soaked metal everything.

"[i]ASSHOLE![/i]" Larry shouted, abruptly slapping the first cook and sending him down on his ass. The second cook hurried over to take his place as the third cook dragged him away from the kitchen area, whispering to his helmet. "[i]What the hell was that for? I was telling you to hurry them up, you tin-head! Why'd you go and throw a drink all over them? You should know how sensitive Larry is! Gods... you'd better not end up like Phil...[/i]"

Back at the concession stand stood a wet and sniffling Larry, who proceeded to order a couple of Honeyed Fig Muffins, a Spit-roasted Flibberwurst with extra Soil Sauce, and a Kidkin Got Pie with a side of Begotten Relish, along with another Kamikaze... uber-sized, with a massive and twisty bendy straw aimed at making all the other knights jealous.

And boy did Larry's twisty/bendy straw make all the other knights jealous, what with their plain-Jane, puny, peppermint-colored bendy straws.