It has recently occurred to me that I did not actually complete the acolyte's initial post. For this you have my apologies, but fortunately what happened after the truth of the Church and the State was unimportant rubbish, much like the 400-year old mummified skull of King Henri IV or an $800,000.000 Stradivarius violin. 

But anyway fuck that shit. It's like 11:00PM and I don't feel like writing shit. So let's pretend that there was a time skip or something. 

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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[center][h1][s][b]T   I   M   E[/b][/s][/h1][/center]
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As the well-written, high effort humor was all going on in the above posts, the acolyte waited.

He waited for many reasons, but primarily because the nice men in blue had burst into his sanctume and beat him with their small metallic poles until he submitted to their draconian will. It seemed that though his heart was defiant, his body was soft and easily bruised. This is what happens when you don't fucking exercise and spend all your time enacting arcane rituals.

But anyway, as he sat in the uncomfortable prison cell, which was cold and hard much like his [s]rented basement[/s] arcane lair, it was unfit for eldritch petitions to the beings above. For one, it was too bright, and as everyone knew, petitioned beings hated bright light. Why do you think everyone in movies always summons outer planar beings to candlelight? You gotta set the mood, and these luminous fluorescent lights and CCTV cameras were killin' the magical a~e~s~t~h~e~t~i~c

As the acolyte's mind assessed the situation, a sound began to reverberate throughout the prison. A sound that many inside knew very well:

[h2][url=https://youtu.be/c5fts7bj-so?t=30]fuck the police coming straight from the underground[/url][/h2]

Suddenly, as a certain word that the acolyte did not have the right to say was declared, the floor of the prison burst open, revealing a colony of mole people. Evidently these strange bottom dwellers believed the Battle of Today was the right day to begin their world conquest. Or perhaps, were they colluding with the invaders? Was it because they were followers of one of the Pillars of Colors? [i]Were they bad because they were brown? Did they have the authority to kill a minority?[/i]

Before the acolyte could ponder these dreadful truths, he finally received the answer from the call he had sent out: 

[code]The abomination you have been trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please try again later or leave your name and blood sacrifice after the beep.[/code]

There was no beep. What the fuck?

Anyway the acolyte slipped out of jail because the mole people caused a sinkhole that caused the mass murder of all the mass murderers, arsonists, jay walkers, and victimized minorities that were being detained by Princess Trump's Prison Patrol(tm).

The acolyte was now free to look upon the world, and it felt underwhelming.