[h3]New Sparta, at the edge of the Detroit Abyss[/h3] Two Romano-Spartan soldiers, the ultimate breed of sexy fighters, patrolled along a path at the edge of the Detroit Abyss. It was their duty as New Spartanians to watch over this demonic pit, for the evil sweat of Detroit - also known as Hell 3 - forever stained the earth that remained, even as far down as the hole went. Which was, all things considered, [i]pretty damn deep[/i]. But not, like, emotionally deep. No, in fact this hellish chasm was emotionally shallow! Oh, the horrors that have climbed up from down within! Their faces were often like those of a prune, shriveled and then pressed in on itself by a good smashing. Their eyes like white marbles with slightly offset black dots... y'know, for the seeing bits... the sight-seers... the... uhm... part that looks... you know what I mean. I'm sure you also understand the gravity of the horrors abounding from this pit of despair, and that they are not to be trifled with! Remember kids; DON'T try this at home, leave this to the professionals. And the half-naked-yet-fully-armored Romano-Spartans were the best professionals, and were in fact so professional, that some might even call them professional professionals at being professional. These guys were trained badasses, and could kill a man just by strangling them to death with a pinky-promise. I'm not even kidding. Like, I'm being totally legit. Look it up. You're probably wondering why I bothered mentioning the two patrolling soldiers, so I - what? What you mean you looked it up and didn't find anything? Try again. Now... where was I? Ah, yes, the two Romano-Spartan soldiers were walking along whe - what is it NOW?! You STILL can't find it? Are you serious? The device you are using [i]IS[/i] connected to the Quatraquantumdomaindiniumalitynet, right? No? Well there's your fucking problem, now sit down and shut up so I can finish my story... Gods, these insolent fools. Do they not know others are trying to read as well? [i][s]Asshats[/s][/i]. Okay... so... the two Greco-Romano-Spartan [s]bodybuilders[/s] warriors were on their normal patrol, when suddenly a sound echoed from deep within the Detroit Abyss. [i]An derpy mechanical noise...[/i] The two soldiers stopped, one gesturing to the other to look over the edge as he himself readied his whistle, while the other complied and leaned over to see the most horrendous sight. And army of giant, burning rabbit-bird monstrosities could be seen climbing the steep walls of the pit, chanting in their derpy malfunctioning tones. "[i]W-WRR-WAA-UIIRRR-OOO-HHUUUU-ERRRR![/i]" They sang as they climbed with their stumpy little feet... leg... things. They climbed. The New Spartinian that had peered over the wall shrieked like a little girl at the horrific sight, frantically slapping at the other while screaming out that the city should be warned. The other slapped the little bitch square in the face, blowing on his whistle as hard as he could... and yet no sound came out. Tossing the whistle aside, the whistle-blower drew his balloon sword and nudged his fellow. "Draw your sword, friend, and together we shall stand and face them... we shall hold back the Furrberealis hordes long enough for the city to prepare reinforcements, and we shall be heroes! They will sing of our sacrifice for centuries to come!" He roared, but 'twas in vain. His companion had run off faster than Sanic The Hedgehorg, throwing his sword made of bread to the ground behind him with a loud clank. The remaining pretty boy swagster picked up his now unfriended companions swords and dual-wielded those bitches, waiting anxiously for the Furrberealis hordes to reach the top, letting loose a terrifying battlecry. "LEEEEDLELEEEEEDLELEEEEEEEE!" He roared, his arms wide as if prepared for a hug - but no, in his hands were two mighty weapons. [i][b]1 hour later...[/b][/i] The Furrberealis hordes still were yet to escape the pit, and the Romano-Greco-Spartan warrior was still continuing his mighty roar. [h3]Meanwhile, in New Sparta, -51 minutes and 49 seconds[/h3] The city was abuzz with energy, and all of the dogs were going absolutely apeshit. It was as if somebody had blown into the world's most rage-inducing dog-whistle. "By the gods" Said one of the townsfolk. "It is as if someone had blown into the world's most rage-inducing dog-whistle!" "No shit, Aristotle." Replied another. "Those such whistles were given to our patrols in case of monstrosities in the Detroit Abyss. Where the fuck have you been? Get ready for war!" "Oh..." Replied the first, and so they prepared to be prepared.