The only way you could conceivably do this is a) Having god-like fingers and thumbs or b) folding in the fabric of time and space.

Assuming a) is true, you can become a Master Stimulator/Craftsman/Musician. Based on those, the world is your oyster my friend. Go make it a better place.

Assuming b) is true, you can use your space and time folding powers to become a superhero who can travel at faster than light speeds, banish villains to the Negative Zone, or hell, even just take really long and satisfying naps. You're Superhero Jesus. Or Doctor Manhattan. Take your pick.

Assuming a) AND b) are true, I consent to give my soul to you, all-powerful being, and find you truly worthy of worship. Take me into your divine service, that I might learn some of your sacred secrets and apply them to my own lowly state of existence.

[hr]

You obtain the ability to come up with actually good ideas for this stupid thread. Unlike me. XD