[centre][h2][color=7ea7d8]Lauren Jones[/color][/h2]
Directly: [@wolverbells][@HecateProxy][@Ambra] Indirectly: everyone else[/centre]

Everyone was mingling beyond the group which they had turned up in and, normally, Lauren would enjoy navigating the social circles and engaging with the new people she'd be working with in the coming months and years.  Now, however, she felt her energy dipping and heavy weights of depression pressing down on her shoulders and mind.  She nodded to Grant as he sat down but didn't introduce herself, fearing that the changes in her tone would give away her mood.

Mora had noticed the change in her friend, that was easy to see by the frown on her face and Lauren cursed herself for not being better at hiding her emotions.  She appreciated her friend trying to bring her back in the mildly festive mood they had going on but she couldn't break free of the shell closing around her and there was only one way out that she knew of.

Standing up she nodded to the table and forced herself to speak as upbeat as she would normally.

[color=7ea7d8]"I think I'm going to head to bed.  Today's been a bit exhausting and there's no telling what'll happen tomorrow."[/color] She slipped out from the bench, lightly squeezing Mora's shoulder in thanks for her efforts as she passed, and saying her farewells to the others in the Mess Hall.  A few were outside talking but they took little notice as she headed for the cabin, trying to keep her pace normal rather than rushing to sate her craving.

Once inside she glanced over her shoulder to make sure that no one else had followed her lead before shutting the door and scurrying over to her medicine bag.  A few of the bottles were unmarked or simply had 'For pain' written across labels stuck to the front in her own, flowing handwriting.  Unstopping one of the larger ones with hands shaking from anticipation she took a long pull on its contents, letting the liquid roll down her throat and igniting a fiery aftertaste as the strong spirit flooded a gentle numbness through her veins.

It had been a while since she had felt such an intense need for a drink and she feared that being this close to everyone from Shiganshina, Mora especially, would increase her dependency but there was no other way. It was the only way she could sleep at night and there was no way she was abandoning her closest friends because she couldn't cope with the trauma.  As the guilt and shame at her dependency hit, so did more flashes of memory, memories she'd rather forget and so she took another drink. And another. And another.

Eventually, the memories stopping coming and left her in a blurry, peaceful state.  Stopping the bottle back up she slid it into her medicine bag and reached for the skin of water from before.  She took a quick sip and then popped a mint leaf in her mouth, chewing it so that it masked the smell of alcohol on her breath before taking another drink of water.  Putting the water back, she climbed into bed, collapsing down onto the pillow and letting total sleep take her.