Point of order: The man in red didn't actually have anything on his person to sell. He did have a radio, but he wasn't visibly carrying any hats or swords.

The man in red sighed softly, then nodded. "Okay... alright, fair enough. I'll place the order." He adjusted a dial on his radio and spoke softly into it, cupping his hand around the receiver. He just sort of murmured into it for a few moments, then lowered it again and gave Jenneva another quick nod. He coughed softly, a deep, throaty cough, and then sighed. "I'm Jane, by the way," he added. "Jane Doe."

A moment later, there was a flash of light, and a lovely red tea hat with a yellow ribbon and flower arrangement on it simply materialized in the air next to Jane. He reached out to catch it, but he missed and it fell swiftly to the ground. "Oh son of a--" His words caught in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut, balled his free hand into a fist and growled in frustration, punching the air.

[img]https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/1/1d/RED_Madame_Dixie.png?t=20120413222655[/img]