[quote=@BladeSS4] [Color=red][b]As always, review in red. Keep in mind that not all my comments are dead serious and have a laugh. See it as constructive criticism.[/b][/color] [hider=Tensai Hozuki][center][h1]Tensai Hozuki[/h1] ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— [img]http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/007/5/c/naruto_oc_commission_6_by_godofbadweather-d33lihn.jpg[/img] [Color=red][b]Dude looks a bit older than 13[/b][/color][/center] ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— [h3]Personalia[/h3] [sub]Information collected by the census office of Konohagakure[/sub] | Ｂｉｒｔｈｎａｍｅ: | Hozuki Tensai [Color=red][b]You know how there's this specific text in [i]italics[/i] under the name in my CS skeleton? You could've just filled it in there, so that it'd be underneath the header.[/b][/color] | Ｎｉｃｋｎａｍｅｓ: | None until someone gives him one [Color=red][b]Fair[/b][/color] | Ａｌｉａｓ: N/A | Ｓｅｘ: | male | Ａｇｅ: | 13 | Ｂｉｒｔｈｐｌａｃｅ: | Ｂｌｏｏｄｌｉｎｅ: | Hozuki and Uchiha | Ｒａｎｋ: | Genin [center]—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————[/center] [h3]Psychology & History[/h3] [sub]From detailed inspection and investigation by ANBU and medical personnel[/sub] | Ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌｂｉｏｇｒａｐｈｙ: | Tensai was born and raised the rain village by his mother and his mother alone. His mother was thrown out of her clan, so it was just his mother to raise him. Growing up, a few of the adults gave Tesnai [Color=red][b]I suggest you take more time to write your posts so that you can focus on getting spelling right, etcetera[/b][/color] some distrustful looks a few of the older adults know of his bloodline. [Color=red][b]Why did they care about his bloodline? Were the Uchiha or Hozuki seen as evil?[/b][/color] He was seen as a hidden weapon or a jewel that could be used for the rain village. The ANBU kept a close eye on him as he grew up, with the blood of an Uchiha running through his veins and the blood of the Hozuki clan. [Color=red][b]Why? What made him special?[/b][/color] 5 years old At five years old Tensai joined the shinobi academy and began his studies, he learned slowly. His mother was barely around doing various jobs around the village as a servant for the AmeKage [Color=red][b]Amekage, not AmeKage[/b][/color]. Tensai was basically given to the service of the Amekage.[Color=red][b] You spelled it right here, lol.[/b][/color] With this Tensai saw the fourth Amekage as a father figure. [Color=red][b]I presume you mean Iie Hizen, not the actual fourth. I never put a number on them because there have been a lot of Amekages. The actual 'fourth amekage' would have existed like.. 70 years ago? There's been a lot of coups, if you read the history.[/b][/color] During his time in the academy he spent all his time either studing or traing. [Color=red][b]Studying or training. Spelling[/b][/color] Tensai wanted to impress the fourth Amekage at least once but not once did he ever. Tensai also felt the cruelty of the fourth Amekage and seen it almost first hand. Once when he was eight years old he was playing too close to the Amekage talking to his black ops squadron. He never heard anything but he had a curse put upon him to prevent him from speaking of what ever was said. He was branded with a curse that was burnt into his back. The pain was a reminder that he shouldn't ease drop on the Amekage. [Color=red][b]Eavesdrop - spelling. Take more time to write so that you can prevent mistakes. [/b][/color] 11 years old During near the end of Tensai's year's learning to become a Genin, he remembers one day above all others. The day Iie Hizen had died. He did moron [Color=red][b]Mourn.[/b][/color], the only person he knew like a father died, even if he had caused him pain. Tensai on this very day made a goal to become the Amekage one day. Two years later Tensai became a Genin. Personality wise, Tensai is a very friendly person. He is rather eager to impress nearly anyone. He is a bit of a show off, likes to go big or make that extra effort to do something when he doesn't need to. [Color=red][b]I like that[/b][/color] | Ｆａｍｉｌｙｂｉｏｇｒａｐｈｙ: | His family mostly consists of his mother within the Rain Village. His mother is Ari Hozuki she is a disowned member of the Hozuki clan. [Color=red][b]How did she get to Amegakure and why?[/b][/color] She was disowned from her family for having a child by someone who is not of the Hozuki clan, while also having a child without being married. His father was that of the Uchiha clan. Masaru Uchiha was his name, a member of the leaf village. His mother was originally of the hidden mist's ANBU black ops, and his father was the same within the leaf. It was during a mission where both met, both on recon missions to scope out the others village. Instead both were attacked by shinboi of the stone. Trying to create conflict between the two villages. Both Masaru and Ari got separated from their own squads when they met each other. They both fought several stone shinobi. Ari got injured and she was nearly killed but was saved by Masaru. They slew fifty stone ninjas before finding a shack to hold up for three days and nights. During those days and nights one thing lead to another and both left their separate ways afterwards. It was meant to be a one time thing and never see each other again kind of thing. They never did see each other again, but it did lead to Ari ending up pregnant with his child and being ejected from her clan, even ejected out of her village as she was thought she couldn't be trusted anymore. All of her jutsu were sealed away from her and she was cursed to never give any secrets away from the village. Ari while pregnant found her way to the Rain village, the fourth Amekage nearly had her killed as she was thought to be a spy from the Mist. She begged him if she would not be let in but to let her child be born in the village. Upon further questioning she did reveal to the Amekage and his Jounin advisors, who the father of the child was. Presenting an opportunity to strengthen the village with this hybrid child was enough to let Ari into the village. She was placed in Black Ops custody until Tensai was born. Ari then was to become a servant to serve the Rain village. Her child then belonged to the village from that day forward. [Color=red][b]Why keep her around? She was cursed and her jutsu were sealed - she was useless. Instead of keeping her around, he could've been given to the orphanage and it'd have the same effect. Is there a reason for that?[/b][/color] | Ｆａｍｉｌｙｔｉｅｓ: | . Hozuki Ari| Birth Mother | 40| Rain Village|Maid| Uchiha Masaru | Birth Father| 45, Leaf village, N/A and Has never had contact or has knowledge of his son ever being born or exists | Ｄｒｅａｍｓａｎｄｆｅａｒｓ: | Tensai Dreams of becoming a Amekage that was better then the fourth, to see the village grow and stop being a village torn by war. Fears, Tensai fears a few things, he fears the village will get so consumed by war one day that it will just fall apart. He also fears snakes. [center]—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————[/center] [h3]Combat Reports[/h3] [sub]From detailed reports from previous missions and academy sparring matches[/sub] | Ｆｉｇｈｔｉｎｇｓｔｙｌｅ: | Close to mid. [Color=red][b]Not very detailed. Anything more you could add?[/b][/color] | Ｋｅｋｋｅｉｇｅｎｋａｉ－ｂｌｏｏｄｌｉｎｅｌｉｍｉｔ: | [u]Ｋｅｋｋｅｉｇｅｎｋａｉｎａｍｅ[/u] Sharingan currently not precent [Color=red][b]Present[/b][/color] on [Color=red][b]in[/b][/color] Tensai [u]Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ[/u] A visual ocular jutsu, that of the uchiha clan. The power in the eyes, eyes that can see through genjutsu, able to see and predict and mimic and ninja's abilities that aren't bloodline traits. The sharingan has a multiple forms and multiple other abilities depending how far it is awaken. The normal and more common Sharingan is easy to spot out they are red eyes with three dots around the pupil with a circle that connects the three other dots. [Color=red][b]You could've just linked me the Narutopedia page and it'd have been fine :lol[/b][/color] [u]Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈｓ[/u] Able to see through moderate genjutsu-(depending on the development of the sharingan. Able to predict a ninja's jutsu and technique that aren't bloodline trait analyzes at great speeds. Able to see chakra and chakra natures [u]Ｗｅａｋｎｅｓｓｅｓ[/u] High Charka consumption Quite a few blind spots outside the field of vision. Further Awakened Abilities of the Sharingan does damage to the eyes. | Ｎｉｎｊａｔｅｃｈｎｉｑｕｅｓ: | [sub][url=naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Narutopedia]Jutsu names can be found here.[/url][/sub] [u]Ａｒａｎｋｔｅｃｈｎｉｑｕｅｓ[/u] N/A [u]Ｂｒａｎｋｔｅｃｈｎｉｑｕｅｓ[/u] [url=http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Water_Release:_Water_Dragon_Bullet_Technique]Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu[/url] [u]Ｃｒａｎｋｔｅｃｈｎｉｑｕｅｓ[/u] [url=http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Cloud-Style_Reverse_Beheading]Cloud Style: Back Slice[/url] [url=http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Cloud-Style_Front_Beheading]Cloud Style: Front Slice[/url] [u]Ｄｒａｎｋｔｅｃｈｎｉｑｕｅｓ[/u] N/A [u]Ｅｒａｎｋｔｅｃｈｎｉｑｕｅｓ[/u] Acadmey Skills [Color=red][b]Jutsu's are all fine[/b][/color] | Ｗｅａｐｏｎｓ: | [u]Ｗｅａｐｏｎｎａｍｅ[/u] Chakra Sword [u]Ｗｅａｐｏｎ，ｔｏｏｌ，ｏｒｏｂｊｅｃｔｔｙｐｅ[/u] Sword [Color=red][b]What type of sword?[/b][/color] [u]Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ[/u] A sword that absorbed the weilders chakra and element nature(s) of the user. [Color=red][b]So all it does is absorb chakra and nature? What can he do with it when it absorbed chakra and the nature?[/b][/color] [/hider] [Color=red][b]I think there's still a few things you can fix in this CS.[/b][/color] [/quote]