[@DeadlyPhoenix]
Is this thread still alive?

If so, then here you go.
[hider=IT'S ME BITCHES]
[h1][center][color=orange]Maxwell Phagott[/color][/center][/h1]
[center][img]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/2c/28/a4/2c28a4a4dace1038a6fae9a643442839.jpg[/img][/center]
[center][color=orange]"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"[/color][/center]
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[b]Weapon Class[/b]: [b]Two-Handed Assault Spear[/b], although we wields it kind of like a staff somtimes

[b]Guild[/b]: He once joined a guild called the Blades of Retribution, but got kicked out for hogging all the loot during team campaigns
           He then joined another guild called the Midnight Wolves, but got kicked again for being plain annoying. 

[b]Level[/b]: [b]40[/b] [i](DEAL WITH IT, MORONS! - A friendly reminder from our boy Maxwell)[/i]

[b]Username[/b]: [b]Xx_SlayerXKilla_xX[/b] [i](I'll bake you a cookie if you see the reference in this)[/i]

[b]Personality[/b]: Maxwell is very bitchy. Very, very, [b]very[/b] bitchy. His snark seems to be bottomless, and he has an unhealthy habit of bursting into bouts of maniacal laughter. His sinister smile has been etched onto his face since his mother gave birth to the bastard that would be known as him. He loves to stereotype and insult people, and he is always ready for a beating, no, he's always ready to [b]retaliate with his handy arsenal of hard blows and cold insults[/b]. 

                   But hey, if you show him a movie such as [i]Hachi: A Dog's Tale[/i] or the ending cutscene of [i]Deemo[/i], he'll burst into tears and gape for air like someone with uncontrollable asthma. Then he'd probably shout "[b]IM NOT CRYING, ASSWIPES![/b]" or some similar insult. People still get to laugh at him despite his inflated ego.

Man, everybody does have a soft side.
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[h3]THE STORY[/h3]
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	Maxwell [s]Faggot[/s] Phagott was born to a poor family. His parents, sent him to school not so that he could learn and become an integral part of society, but to get incentives from the government from doing so. His father was a drunkard who would spend his low salary mostly on booze. He would be teased, bullied, and beat up for having such a ridiculous last name and for being to full of himself. From there, you would expect him to begin taking drugs and being all-out rebellious, right?

[i]But there would be no fun in that, so [b]NO![/b][/i]

       One day, Maxwell saw a metal rod lying around somewhere in the construction site that his father worked at. He then claimed the rod for himself, and soon went missing. Everybody deemed him to be dead, and considered it a good riddance. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

       Maxwell came trotting to town a month later, carrying his metal rod and sporting a glorious six pack. He had gained enhanced strength and knew how to use the metal rod like a shaolin monk would use his trusty staff. [url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharlesAtlasSuperpower]Presumably, he had trained on the nearby mountain, probably under the guidance of an old hermit[/url]. The truth is, [b]nobody knows[/b].[i] Except him, but we are going to give him a secretive past, okay? The stuff of badass.[/i] 

When he came home, his drunken father came to scold and upbraid him.
[b]He got beaten up.[/b]
When he walked to school, the gangs came to give him his daily torture.
[b]They got beaten up.[/b]
When the math teacher scolded him for being absent for a week and missing out on so much, he...
[b]he...[/b]
[b]HE.....![/b]
...did not get beaten up. But Maxwell, being the faggot he is, rebutted and talked about how "impractical" Math was.

Eventually everybody came to fear the merciless warrior. The hotheaded vigilante. The short-tempered master of pain and agony.
Everybody in town would come to fear
[center][h3]THE METAL ROD MAN[/h3][/center]
[i]Sounds pretty cool, right? No? Screw you.[/i]

Eventually, the Sword Art Online project would be announced. Maxwell heard of the actual violence and games of risk that were to be in this virtual world. He joined so that he could get to beat stuff up......well, that would be a fine excuse, right? [i]RIGHT?[/i]

[i]I guess not. Screw this.[/i]

Eventually, Maxwell became a well-known player in the game. He topped the ranks due to his fighting techniques and his use of dirty tricks. He was revered as "[b]The Grim Reaper's Mentally Insane Sidekick[/b]".

Yeah, pretty cool.
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PS: He's actually meant to be laughed at. Don't take it too hard. :)
[i](What in God's balzing pissfire did you say, dipshit? - Another freindly reminder from our friend Maxwell Phagott)[/i]