[color=gray]”Gain control of yourself or else I will control you, myself!”[/color] The green aura soon faded from his draconic lips, as the scent of sulfur and mercury fringed the caboose's space, flavoring an imaginary ringside with hints of aged glory and corrosive perspiration. With no fans to witness or ventilation for that matter, the warrior permitted the mage to arise from the briny floor. He fatefully and faithfully stated the rules of engagement, an ultimatum that the buffon could not simply ignore. Mingling stares commonly emitted from the barbarian, partnering rigor with the fool’s insanity. [i]Round 1.[/i] However, as the colors of each iris melted into emerald garlands around new slivered pupils, the axe monger beheld a mirrored [url=https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/322941927466991618/323163898041597953/image.jpg]dragonborn[/url], but of the fairer variety. The female’s natural scales bore a mild faintness, as the acid breathing pirate could discern this was all but foreplay. An illusion filled with slithering locks, batlike wings for ears and interspersed jutting canines from an elongated jaw. She panted, standing more erect, eager to exact a frisky retribution, once the masquerade was complete. [color=ed1c24]“I love games! My turn!”[/color] Like a Jack in a Box, the feminine lizard quickly sprung into action. Imaginary clawed fingers soon clutched the nape of her combatant. Then, a breathy kiss closed the gap between each serpentine skull. The lurid smooch on the cheek caught Garnesh off guard. [color=ed1c24]“Mwah! This is fun!”[/color] The barbarian was more than a little flustered at the sudden peck, so much so that he almost tripped, taking a step backwards. His eyes mechanically wandered up and down the novel habitation of the jester, surveying the outlined curvatures of her body as his mind raced to grasp the situation that had transpired within an instant. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't interested in this new form. [color=ed1c24]“Aren’t you gonna go?”[/color] Koan inquired the big, strong ruffian. [color=gray]“I, ugh, ho- what?,”[/color] questioned the barbarian as he gestured to the fresh reptilian figure. [i]Round 2![/i] [color=ed1c24]“Shoot yourself!”[/color] An idiom she plagiarized from Reemes, when he was more than a tad drunk. Ironically, the ghost’s vernacular mastered a particular elegance, when his tongue inebriated itself with several glugs of ale. The finer the alcohol, the sharper the annunciation. The harlequin never deciphered its true meaning, but Calico would always systematically wave his gun and offered this expression when no one else could finish off their drinks. Straining against the fond flash of memories, faux talons embedded into the musculature surrounding the dragonborn’s cervical spine. Using the vertebrae as a fulcrum and the wager that Garnesh could easily bear her wombless weight, the joker pivoted and swung each of her legs around a neighboring jugular. Hastily, the dangling extremities began to squeeze into a burly scissor, forcing subsequent venous congestion and her rival’s arms to reflexively scratch at the makeshift vise. [color=ed1c24]“What! Drow’s got your…”[/color] Before the half-elf could complete her bitter banter… [i]Round 3?[/i] The brawny arms of the barbarian locked around the legs of Koan; suddenly, the barbarian bent his knees backwards, proceeding to drop the jester on her head. The action was purely instinctual; no thought entertained the half-elf’s intentions. With a loud [i]thud,[/i] the jester was slammed into the planks of the floor. A sudden suplex, one could even call it that. Garnesh continued to push her off of his neck, with a loud grunt as he brought himself back up, while rubbing his throat with a large palm. Needless to say, the less than intelligent barbarian was confused on the whole situation, its puzzling mark riddling upon his face. Though he could take a guess since he encountered a similar situation before, just without the face hopping. [color=gray]“If you wanted to do [i]those[/i] types of things, warn me first!,”[/color] gasped the muscular dragonborn, now turning to the jester. [i]Round 4…[/i] [color=ed1c24]“Nice one,”[/color] the clown muttered to the Bloodthirsty, while caressing her temple. [color=ed1c24]“But you started it!”[/color] Boots took flight as the tumbler bowled behind her fellow wrestler. Jumping up with each elbow hooked under an armpit, forearms snaked around to consign the hissing lizard to a [url=https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/dragonball/images/6/6c/GokuHoldsRaditz.Ep.4.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/350?cb=20151109222254]Full-Nelson[/url]. Due to the breadth and height of her opponent, gravity lost its jurisdiction as the barbarian writhed and wiggled, attempting to liberate himself of this pesky, irksome woman. [i]Round 5!!![/i] Garnesh grew weary of the half-wit attempting to tax him, anger taking control of his actions as he clenched the arms of Koan. Pulling her extremities away, the barbarian drew the jester in front of him and nippily slammed her face first into the ground, again, pinning her. He snarled and growled, as he took control of Koan just as he promised, grasping one of her thighs and the back of her neck. He [url=https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6e/1b/59/6e1b59571c2bb09a220c1a48e25a6b93.jpg]bent[/url] her, challenging the laxity of her joints. [color=gray]“Are you done?,”[/color] the enraged barbarian questioned with a snarl, wishing this activity to be over. The prankster squeaked a sweaty tirade, [color=ed1c24]“Pishah! That’s all you got!”[/color] [i]Round 6[/i] With another growl, Garnesh would test Koan’s flexibility further as he arranged her body into a [url=https://goo.gl/images/27W88a]triple fold[/url]. He felt that he had ensured that she would not get out of the position, so he released her. The spar, however, made him feel invigorated. A sadistic smile appeared on his face as he felt victory; thus, he returned to his feet and let out a hearty laugh. [color=gray]“I believe I won,”[/color] the barbarian mocked. [i]The freaky finale.[/i] Whispers from his defeated adversary filled the room, beckoning the barbarian back closer, as the jester’s fingers eventually clutched a pull string within her sutured scar. The umbilicus slowly disentangled, dehiscing the abdomen and revealing a brilliant rainbow of colors that permeated the lower deck’s room as her six-pack unraveled. Curious, the dragonborn could hear feeble sounds of music, normally gleaned above a crib or within a nursery. [i]“That’s better. At least I can breathe now. Okay. You got me! I want to show you something special, mate. Consider it a consolation,”[/i] joked the spider to the fly. As the awestruck reptile approached the mangled mime, mesmerized by the spinning, dazzling innards, within the belly of the contortionist, a tiny mobile, for a child that never existed, dangled and rotated faster and faster, above the omentum. Its hypnotizing patterns drew the barbarian closer, captivating the warrior into a gradual crouch, with an ear fascinated to distinctly grasp the melody riveting the room. Abruptly, an immense vacuum triggered, sucking and imbibing his head within the corpus of the fool. Before, he could react, blindness and light surrounded the senses of Garnesh, as flesh mended around his throat, trapping eyes, ears and mouth inside the capacitant abdomen of the gymnast. His muted gasps gradually broke the suffocating haze. [color=gray]“What the…”[/color] Standing and hopefully stepping in the direction of the crow’s nest, the draconic soldier flailed about his surroundings until the caboose’s exit was established. Flinging the door wide open, the form of the barbarian with a half-elf for a head ran onto the deck, muffled screams and all. The elvish comic squirmed in pain, pregnant with the skull filled with acidic salivary glands. Noting the Beholder witness their parade on stage, Koan, for a brief moment, suffered from butterflies of fear. Though her larks, renowned for being unpredictable, easily stirred Dyn to an inferno of anger, his furious tentacles of ire possessed minds of their own, constantly threatening invasive danger. Mumbling arcane semantics, the physique of the observed monstrosity birthed the dragonborn with an audible [i]poof[/i], liberating the couple from their ecstatic union all thanks to the wild magic engulfing the hideous jester, as she magically vanished and reappeared upon the Crow's Nest. There remained no doubt that nothing remotely erotic would ever happen between the two in the future. [hider=Mechanics] Time to get touchy and feely! Above is a super collab between [@Lauder] and [@Gordian Nought]. Who will win? Garnesh’s Passive Athletics of 19 or Koan’s Passive Acrobatics of 22. Best of 7. [hider=Round 1] Koan uses a Sorcery Point to Quicken her at-will Disguise Self. This forces a Wild Mage Surge roll against a DC of 2. She rolls a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3076]15[/url].This increases the DC + 1 for the next Wild Magic Roll. Koan grabs Garnesh’s head and forces a large kiss on the cheek due to the following... [hider=Athletics Versus Check:] Koan rolls a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3057]15[/url], which wins against Garnesh’s [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3058]13[/url]. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Round 2] Koan wins this round of grappling, as well. While gripping the back of Garnesh’s neck, Koan whips both her lower extremities around his neck, completes a scissor leg lock around his neck, due to the following… [hider=Athletics Versus Check:] Koan barely passes with a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3060]19[/url], against Garnesh’s [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3059]18[/url]. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Round 3] To Garnesh! Watch out, watch out, watch out! RKO OUTTA NOWHERE! Garnesh suplexes the shit of Koan like the absolute boss that he is. [hider=Athletics Versus Check:] Koan supremely loses with a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3062]12[/url] against Garnesh’s [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3061]27[/url]. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Round 4] Point to the crazy lady! Koan recovers and employs Tumbing Fool (Bonus Action: Dash and Disengage) behind Garnesh while each are standing and attempts a Full-Nelson. [hider=Athletics Verus Check] Koan barely pulls it off with a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3063]25[/url] while Garnesh resists with [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3064]23[/url]. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Round 5] Garnesh activates RAGE and crushes the competition. Garnesh, barely getting a grip on the jester, manages to bring Koan in front of himself and proceeds to contort her [url=https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6e/1b/59/6e1b59571c2bb09a220c1a48e25a6b93.jpg]backward[/url]. [hider=Athletics Verus Check] Garnesh wins with a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3065]24[/url] against Koan’s [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3067]22[/url]. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Round 6] Further [url=https://goo.gl/images/27W88a]pretzel bending[/url] in progress. It would hurt someone who did not have the flexibility but Koan might be enjoying it. Who the hell knows anymore? [hider=Athletics Check] Garnesh wins with a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3070]27[/url] against Koan’s [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3068]20[/url]. [/hider] [/hider] [hider=Round 7: The Freaky Finale] Koan activates Tides of Chaos before the following rolls: [hider=First Athletics Check] Koan loses with a [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3072]9[/url] against Garnesh’s (obviously should've won here - signed Lauder) [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3071]23[/url]. [/hider] BUT WAIT!!! [hider=Second with Advantage] By pure luck, Koan rolls a horrific [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3074]27[/url] against Garnesh’s mighty [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3073]26[/url]. [/hider] Koan pursues the following. Free Interact Object: Undoes sutures on abdomen, by pulling a camouflaged pull string. Action: Grapples head of Garnesh, which is lying on her abdomen to pin her, and puts it inside her abdomen above the pubic symphysis but below the xyphoid process. Bonus Action: Using a Sorcery Point, Koan Quickens the cantrip Mending to close the flayed abdomen around the barbarian’s neck. [/hider] Garnesh runs them both above deck for all to see. Koan, fearing Dyn, casts Reduce on Garnesh, but it fails as he makes his CON save with a 24. Wild Magic Surge roll, succeeds with a natural [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3082]20[/url]. The DM triggers Wild Magic anyway and the 1d100 roll ends at [url=https://www.roleplayerguild.com/rolls/3083]29[/url], which frees the duo, as she teleports to the Crow's Nest. Garnesh is still under rage. Koan is prone in the Crow's Nest. [/hider] [@Big Dread][@Hekazu][@JBRam2002][@Ms Ravenwinter][@Lauder][@Cu Chulainn][@Zverda]