[b]Rough Rider’s - New Vegas, Nevada[/b]
 
[i]2 Corinthians 12:9-10 
 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.[/i]


 

 She was taken aback by the kiss Shelby gave her, the slight tug at her bottom lip sent chills throughout her body. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and attempted to escape into the moment, but she couldn’t. Even in this moment of blind euphoria she was reminded of a time when she was so much younger, when someone tugged her lip like just Shelby did. There was nothing she wanted to remember from that time, to her that’s when her heart turned into the black mass it was today. Shelby was making her feel things she hasn’t felt since then. It hurt her so much to be reminded of that time but part of her wanted to rush out and embrace it, to embrace Shelby as if she was that someone that tugged her lip and combed her hair with their fingers so long ago. 
 
 She wanted to feel like she was a that person again, like she could feel anything but pain again. But she wasn’t the young woman she was back then. Now she was a monster. She was a killer, a woman with a gun that didn’t flinch when she pulled the trigger. So why was Shelby making her feel again? She couldn’t remember the figure of the person she once embraced as she cried through the night, the person that loved her regardless of the things she did and regretted. Her mind was a haze of emotions, and her body was in shambles. Regardless of how well she trained and how strong she thought she was her legs were still shaking and she felt like she was going to throw up.
 
 She was knelt down alongside the bed, her knees trembling against the floor as she held her sobbing head between her hands. Inside her a battle of emotions was raging inside her. As if a part of her she forgot was violently clawing it’s way to the surface. Her damaged heart was beating into her throat as tears once thought to have dried out spilled onto the sheets. She closed her eyes again in a desperate attempt to compose herself. In an attempt to shut it all away again and hide from the pain. She felt like her world was collapsing around her. She just wanted all of this to be over so she could forget again. 

 That part of her she forgot had other plans for her. It fought like hell to wake her up, to free her from the torment she was lost to behind the gates of Tartarus she had locked herself within when she gave up on everything. When she closed her eyes again out of the gnawing darkness she was struck by a vivid recollection of her past. In this moment she was as weak as she was now. Collapsed on the floor, her body cold and trembling. A gun tightly clenched in her weak, clammy hands. She was crying uncontrollably, the gun pressed against the roof of her mouth while her trigger finger shook inside the trigger guard. She couldn’t pull it, couldn’t end it. She could remember that moment like she was living it all over again. She could taste the steel in her mouth, and feel the gun clenched in her chattering teeth. She could feel how she felt then, pathetic and worthless. She had killed so many people without mercy, but in that moment she struggled to end her own life. It was so painful for her to relive this moment, but there was a reason this was the moment her subconscious chose for her to remember. 

 A young woman gently laid herself down behind her suffering lover, wrapping her arms around her waist, before laying her head alongside hers. She softly whispered into her ear a song that brought back a flood of forgotten memories.

 [b][i]“I’m a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm
And the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold
My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones
It keeps my veins hot, the fires find a home in me
I move through town, I’m quiet like a fire
And my necklace is of rope, I tie it and untie it…"[/i]
 [/b]
 In this moment everything was so surreal. She didn’t even feel like she was in Shelby’s room anymore, she had been whisked away from everything that troubled her and was consumed in this moment. She faintly whispered the next verse of the song, like she did in her memory. 

[b][i]"This is the start of how it all ever ends. They used to shout my name, now they whisper it."[/i][/b]

 Except in the memory the woman that loved her so fiercely was comforting her, she held her with such strength and devotion. She had accepted the fact that her lover was ready to die and was willing to fade out of existence with her. The song was their song, a memory of how it used to be. She missed those times, that woman. Her chest was tightening up as she remembered what happened next. The woman whispered again into her ear, now she was holding the gun with her. Adjusting the angle so it would kill both of them.
 
 “Eliza. I can’t live without you, so if you’re ready so am I. But promise me you’ll take me with you. I don’t want to be alone.”
 
 Eliza dropped the gun onto the ground in an instant, and covered her face in shame as she began to cry harder than she ever did in her life. She could feel the burning in her lungs, she felt then. She could feel everything she felt then, the pain and the shame. Emotions that were all too familiar to her now, but she felt something else an emotion that shot through her body like a bullet and snapped her out of the flashback. It was a rush of adrenaline, like she was with that woman she longed for all over again. Shakily she got up to her feet, balancing herself against the wall. She felt a rush of emotions coming back to her as she remembered who she was so long ago. She was brought back from the edge of the abyss by a woman that cared for nothing else in the world more than her. No amount of wealth could waver that woman's resolve, she was so much stronger than Eliza could ever be. She was willing to die for her even knowing how far Eliza had fallen. She knew Eliza could be fixed even when she thought she was broken beyond repair. 

 It was the memory of this woman that was driving Eliza crazy. Something in Shelby reminded her of that woman, but she couldn’t be sure if her mind wasn’t just playing tricks on her. So she took the leap for fear that it would all slip away and she would go back to how she was. She ignored everything else that was going on and ran towards Shelby tackling her to the ground and spinning her on her back with terrifying skill. Shelby was just as quick though and had her hand clasped around Eliza’s throat in an attempt to defend herself against the woman that was now straddling her. Eliza effortlessly broke Shelby's grip and embraced her as if she was someone else. It was evident that Eliza had no intentions of hurting Shelby but she obviously lost control of herself to an emotion she hasn’t felt in a long time. Eliza ran her hands through Shelby’s hair and kissed her bottom lip like she did hers, slightly tugging at it as she pulled away. Her tears had yet to dry from her face as she laid her head alongside Shelby’s. She had completely lost her exterior of a cold professional, to reveal a woman obviously hurting and in desperate need of help. Just like the woman she was when she tasted cold steel against her tongue and struggled to end it all.
 
Eliza tried to compose herself and act tough again, afraid of embarrassing herself but she was being flooded by so many emotions she couldn’t control herself. She started to break down again, crying in Shelby’s arms. Through her torrent emotions Eliza was able to choke out a few words to Shelby.
 
 “I’m so sorry for this Shelby. But will you just hold me please?”