[centre][h2][color=7ea7d8]Lauren Jones[/color][/h2]
[@HecateProxy][@Wolverbells][@LetMeDoStuff][@QT][/centre]

[color=Gray]
It was cold.  So cold.  Back in Shinganshina, then in Trost and finally at the Training Camp it had never been this cold.  During the winters it had been chilly and their first winter in Trost, with no money to afford logs for a fire after scraping enough together for food, had been hard but not unbearable with blankets and being active.  This was a whole new level, the cold was inescapable, the wind unavoidable as it blasted endlessly into her face no matter how she turned and seemingly penetrating right through the thick layers they all wore.

Moving helped.  Earlier on the ascent she might have been tempted to take a break but here, in this cold, she knew that stopping for a brief moment could extend into unintended permanency so trudging on was the only option.  Jade occasionally came close to 'borrow' some warmth, being smaller and thinner than the rest of them, even with the filling out she had done in the last six months.  Lauren herself was surprised at the muscle she had put on from the days upon days of sparring and drilling to which one either applied oneself to completely or fell by the wayside and was sent home in disgrace.

That, in part at least, had helped her ignore the dwindling stock of alcohol which she had brought with her.  When the gear training first started there had been several accidents and she had had the chance to stay up all night caring for the injured and giving first aid, thereby giving her an excuse to save some of her precious supplies.  Pleasantly, Mora had joined her in a few of her duties, mostly on basic first aid runs, and had learned a lot; once she was committed the girl was stubborn as an ox and would stop at nothing to complete what she had set out to do.  Olivia had also shown an interest and, after recovering from Lauren's change in nature from a generally positive and bubbly personality to being stern and absolutely in control, had become a useful apprentice and a skilled second pair of hands.

Her other friendships had blossomed, although not without some complications.  She had helped Reese with his hand to hand combat skills but in the process she had become aware that almost all of her skills were in self defence and disarming techniques and so had had to refocus on being more aggressive in sparring with very mixed results.  She liked the slightly older boy, they seemed to be on similar wavelengths and she found it easy to talk to him and it only helped that he was friends with Olivia.  Gabriel, and by extension, Grant, she had also been spending some time with although not as much.  She appreciated their company but there was something about when she was with Gabriel that she sometimes caught herself about to say something or do something and felt as if a black hole opened up within her chest, erasing her emotions and leaving her feeling utterly empty.  It was nothing the boy did; she was certain that the fault lay with her but she couldn't work out why it happened no matter how much time she spent with them.

Still, she always had her closest friendships to fall back on and they had barely changed.  They had all matured, through their months of hard training, but Mora and Jade were still her closest friends and she was glad to have them with her on this trek, especially now.

Because her alcohol reserves had run out.

With some dread she had drunk the last of what she had the previous night, barely enough to see her safely through until morning without disturbance, and woken up knowing that she had to find some other way to cope with her troubles.  It had been six months and she had made no progress in resolving her issues, hadn't spoken to anyone about it, nor found any replacement for the unhealthy addiction she had garnered.

On that snowy mountaintop those thoughts and fears threatened to well up whenever she lost focus, making her want to disappear into the snow rather than face the problem but each time, by chance, someone would bump into her and bring her back to the present and renew her determination to carry on.  Mora bumped into her this time, muttering about the weather and, despite herself, Lauren smiled.

[color=7ea7d8]"Language, now."[/color] She grinned, nudging her friend playfully.  Grant spoke up, cracking a joke despite the cold and their general mood of soldiering on, focused only on getting to camp safely.  She had to admit, the view was picturesque although somewhat spoiled by snow being blown into her eyes constantly, making her blink and unable to take in the vista properly.

Turning back and continuing to trudge on, she decided that she would need to speak to someone.  She could depend on these people around her, they would support her and help her through her struggle.  Quickly she ran down the list of those she was closest with in the cadets but, inevitably, she came down to Mora and Jade.  Instinctively she chose not to burden the younger girl of her troubles.  Besides, the trauma which haunted her nights would surely be something that Mora shared.
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