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El Presidente gleamed with a smile as the entire crowd chanted his name. His entire life, longer than any person's life really should be, he served as these people's leader. They loved him as he build only the cheapest housing, provided only the bare necessity of health care and education, and pocketed the island's wealth for himself. After all, nobody notices that they are being robbed and cheated when you do it so brazenly and with a giant smile.

"My fellow Tropicans," El Presidente bombastically decreed, "we stand today at a crossroad. Not even Doubting Thomas could deny our island has grown so much in the past few years. We have built so much new infrastucture for our growing industry, expanded our schools inland, and not to mention, free housing for the most vulnerable of our population!"

El Presidente waved his hands as the crowd ate his words up. [i]Anything[/i] can sound good as long as you say it with conviction, and that's exactly what the Carribean dictator knew what to do. Now, he had to do was make up a threat, and that would all but guarantee his relection.

"Generalissimo Santana, on the other hand, hates the progress Tropico has made. He schemes with the CIA on Puerto Gato, waiting for the perfect opportunity to install his wretched dictatorship on us. We can not let that happen! That is why I accept another term to run for Presidente of Tropico, and that every Tropican MUST vote for me!"

El Presidente couldn't even hear himself over the cheering of his subjects. The people adore him so much, that he might not even have to rig the elections this time! Of course, it's not as fun to have elections that "respect the democratic tradition" and are "fair and free", no matter if the pesky EU seems to prefer it being run with some semblance of decency. He'll still order Penultimo to stuff the ballots, but that can-

"Attention citizens of Pandor-No, shit. Attention citizens of 2Fort!"

The blaring voice on the klaxon woke El Presidente from his day dream. There was no crowd of people below El Presidente; just simply some dirty river that the ex-dictator was giving a highly impassioned speech to. And he was nowhere near the safety of his air conditioned palace, but standing at the edge of the battlements. El Presidente blinked behind his sunglasses as reality reoriented around this new reality, one where he [i]didn'[/i] have a nation of brainwashed idiots to lead.

"This is your mayor, Handsome Jack speaking. "

Suddenly El Presidente's smile faded into a scowl. If losing his nation was the worst thing that ever happened to him in his life, which has spanned numerous decades, then having to take orders from this idiot was a close second. What right did that slimey asshole have to rule this glorified settlement over him? El Presidente has been in the buisness of effective leadership for decades, that Jack idiot just was simply the first one to wander into this contrived system of dual forts and claimed he owned it all! A lousy homesteader! Comrade Vasquez and Marco Moreno would have [i]a lot[/i] of things to say to Jack's face about his ludicrous claim to power back at Tropico. 

As the disgraced Tropican leader listened to the rest of Jack's speech, El Presidente's more jovial demeanor returned to him. It seemed the "mayor" was relying on the works of others in order to prop up his ineffective regime. And as El Presidente knew, relying on more competent people was a surefire way to get your underlings to realize they could simply overthrow you and take your spot. That's why El Presidente stuck with Penultimo all these years; he couldn't see that man leading his grandmother across the street, let alone a coup d'etat.

Thus, the Tropican made his way down to office of Handsome Jack's. While doing his bidding may be far below El Presidente's dignity, he knew all he had to do was be a more effective leader on the field than Handsome Jack was at whatever plans he had for 2fort. Then, seizing power would only require demanding an election.... and maybe some stuffed ballots. Could never go wrong with rigging the election.

On his way to the offices, El Presidente noticed a giant heap of what looked like scalvage and trash. Or, as the desperate ex-dictator knew in times of troubles like these, [i]resources[/i]. There was bound to be something good in that pile of crap, and El Presidente wanted to make sure it was his hands, and no other, that got whatever the lion's prize was in that trash. [b][Roll for Search][/b]

Pocketing whatever he found inside his jacket (can't let others see the "reappropriation" that El Presidente was doing!), El Presidente continued down the steps into Handsome Jack's office. 

"¡Hola camaradas!" the bearded man said as he walked into the room. It seemed like any meeting between this rogue gallery of imbeciles has already ended, to El Presidente's dismay, as some cowboy-looking yankee seemed all too desperate to leave Handsome Jack's office as the Tropican leader was strolling in. Tardiness would not look good at all!

"Excuse me," the Tropican leader said, "I had some... [i]buisness[/i] to attend to. But I am here now, and I accept whatever mission was being handed out here." Accepting orders without even knowing what they were? Classic move. Makes everyone think you're a hard worker [i]and[/i] loyal, when El Presidente planned on being the exact opposite on both! No one would suspect a thing, especially not that smug fake mayor.