[center] [h1]Recovery and Regret[/h1] [img]http://i.imgur.com/jzzw4on.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/fwTScNE.jpg[/img] [h2][color 22ec06]Marcus[/color] | [color a2d0ce]Callan[/color][/h2] [img]http://i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img] [color=silver]𝕄: π•Šπ•–π•‘π•₯. πŸ™πŸœ, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / 𝕃𝕒 ℙ𝕝𝕒π•₯𝕒, 𝕄𝕒𝕣π•ͺπ•π•’π•Ÿπ•• / / π•‹π• π•¨π•Ÿ / / ~πŸšπŸ™πŸ˜πŸ˜[/color] [sub]Collab with [@Chasers115] [@Baklava][/sub][/center] Marcus's eyes darted between Callan and...the girl he'd never seen before. Except there was something vaguely familiar about her...she must have been part of their group if she was [i]here[/i]. She hadn't been on his team for the Flag Game, which meant she had been in the second group. But who? Slowly, as his eyes searched her face for something familiar, he began to piece it together. She'd been one of the first ones to get tazed it what he would describe as 'a bloodbath'. The one who had melted the toilet-kid's face, without a second's hesatation. [i]Dangerous[/i] He gave her a slightly hesitant nod, not really sure what to make of the circumstances. The way Callan had pointed out her immediate exit was not at all friendly. Which meant she hadn't been here as a friend. He stepped into the room, looking to Callan for some sort of subtle explanation, waiting to see if the girl was actually on her way out. Callan's eyes lingered on the doorway for a few seconds after Zoe made her leave. She exhaled shakily, traces of the fear and frustration still keeping her posture tense. "[color=a2d9ce]Hey Marcus,[/color]" she said simply, unable to muster up so much as smile with Zoe's words still fresh in her head. Oh boy, whatever had just happened, it had not been good. The shaky breaths and the tense air of the room told him that much. While he was curious about the events, Marcus knew when some things just weren't good to talk about. He wasn't exactly one to pry when it made things uncomfortable. So, after the brief moment in which he surveyed the room, he adopted a more-upbeat tone, his voice swelling with faux excitement. "[color 33ec06]Guess who brought [i]presents[/i]?[/color]" he said, shuffling the bag in his hands. The corner of her mouth twitched upwards into an unsure smile. Presents were the last thing she deserved after everything that happened. What's more, she was beginning to notice a dismal pattern here. Marcus shouldn't have to always be the one picking her ass up after she gets upset. As much as she kind of liked that he'd been thinking about her-- enough to go out and buy things.... "[color=a2d9ce]Oh man. You didn't have to get me anything,[/color]" Callan replied, forcing the rest of her mouth into a full smile. Gradually, she could feel the tension from Zoe's visit beginning to ebb. "[color=a2d9ce]Uh. Thanks, though. What'd you bring?[/color]" "[color 33ec06]Weeeelllll.[/color]" Marcus said, trying to draw out the excitement of gifts as long as possible. "[color 33ec06]We've got a bag of jerky, since I know you like it so much. Plus I snagged a bag of pretzles and a blue Gatorade for you, since I see those laying empty all around the room all the time.[/color]" he said, giving her an aloof grin. He pulled out the items as he mentioned them, lightly tossing everything but the drink onto her lap as he did so. "[color 33ec06]Oh, and Ernie wanted me to drop this little bag off for you too; I'm pretty sure your phone is in there somewhere.[/color]" "[color=a2d9ce]Tch,[/color]" she smiled ruefully back at him. "[color=a2d9ce]Looks like you guys thought of everything,[/color]" she said, feeling slightly overwhelmed as she took the smaller bag from Marcus. Fishing out her phone, she habitually tapped the screen to open it before setting it aside. Something nagged at the back of her head, but she ignored it. Paranoia didn't suit her. "[color=a2d9ce]Thanks...,[/color]" she added, flashing him one last, small smile before her expression grew more somber. She gently set the snacks beside her phone. "[color=a2d9ce]How are you doing?[/color]" she asked, shooting him a concerned glance before averting her eyes. "[color 33ec06]Not a problem! Delivery service at your...well, service I guess.[/color]" Marcus said, the statement getting away from him a little bit. He shrugged at her question, looking off to the blank wall for a second, just in case his face betrayed anything. "[color 33ec06]Eh, you know. Got my cardio for the day running away from paparazzi, had to deal with a very rude lady to get these snacks for you, and my heart is slowing down after that small, panicked moment just now, but pretty good otherwise![/color]" A lie of course, he wasn't as 'pretty good' as he stated, but making Callan worry about that wouldn't help the situation at all. Callan wasn't entirely convinced. She looked up to catch him staring at the far wall. His demeanor was convincing enough but... Savannah had [i]died[/i]. He'd been the one driving around with her right before it happened. Lawrence almost met the same fate, too! Was he really fine? She couldn't decide on what to say next as she stared at him fixedly-- looking for a chink in the armor that would easily betray how he'd really been faring. She sighed through her nose and looked away. Even if he wasn't fine... maybe she shouldn't pry. She was just as guilty of that sort of thing. Gathering up what courage she could, Callan figured there was one thing she needed to get off her chest at least. Not that it would help, but... everyone should be in agreement over whose fault it was. "[color=a2d9ce]A... about Savannah...[/color]" Callan started. Not another one. That was all that anybody wanted to talk about right now, and it was the only thing he wanted to stay away from. It was like he was living in his own personal hell, which he somewhat deserved, he supposed. The words glanced off him like a knife, causing him to nearly flinch in response. Instead, he sighed looking to the floor as if debating something internally in his head. He said nothing, but looked to her, evident that he was ready for whatever it was she was about to say. "[color=a2d9ce]I'm sorry,[/color]" she said, "[color=a2d9ce]I can't... really say that to the person who deserves it since she's....[/color]" She swallowed hard. "[color=a2d9ce]Anyway, it was my fault. I should've... been more careful. I came to help you guys, but I got her killed instead.[/color]" "[color 33ec06]Callan.[/color]" Marcus said, feeling the weight in his chest sink. Between her and Emma, he was having a real hard time saying the same thing over and over again without the lies starting to show through. He'd break. He didn't want to, but this kind of psychological torture could only go on so long before the cracks in his reassurances started to widen. "[color 33ec06]It wasn't your fault. You did everything you could have to stop that gargoyle lady. In the end, it's [i]her[/i] fault. Not yours. Not...[/color]" he paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully, "[color 33ec06]...anybody else's fault either.[/color]" He sighed again. Eyes darting anywhere but Callan's face. Even now he was starting to break down. Her expression hardened. She'd heard this same speech before. Back when Padma died and she'd snapped at Grant-- something she felt ten times as remorseful for now. But she'd thought it over a million times in the past few hours. Over and over and over. She knew exactly whose fault it was. "[color=a2d9ce]Marcus, you were [i]there,[/i][/color]" Callan said, staring at him ernestly, "[color=a2d9ce]You [i]saw[/i] what happened. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I had no business jumping in there recklessly like I did. She died for my mistake, Marcus. I [i]heard[/i] it.[/color]" Surprised by how graphic her last statement had sounded, Callan buried her face in her hands and tried to shut out the mental images that came with it. A single, loud, wet snap. "[color=a2d9ce]I know you're just trying to make me feel better,[/color]" Callan continued, her voice a bit shaky as she willed away the impending tears, "[color=a2d9ce]But that's just the way it is. I really messed up.[/color]" "[color 33ec06]Callan, I...[/color]" he had nothing to say here. Even as her voice grew shaky and he could feel his own guilt start to well up inside him, threatening to crash over him like a tidal wave. Savannah's twisted neck came to his own mind, the lifeless eyes staring like a plastic doll. "[color 33ec06]...I don't know what you want me to say.[/color]" he finally let out, the words soft and almost stopped from coming out. He was right there with her; he wanted to break down and tell her everything, just so she'd feel better for a moment. "[color 33ec06]I know that's how you feel, but I'm telling you that [i]I[/i] don't think it was your fault. And if I need to keep saying that...I will. I'll keep saying it for as long as it takes.[/color]" No, no, no. He wasn't getting it. Why wouldn't he accept that it was her fault? She slid her hands off her face, looking at him with rising distress. "[color=a2d9ce]You don't have to say anything![/color]" she said, "[color=a2d9ce]You don't have to lie either, though. Maybe I don't have all the blame, but it's mostly mine. I know how strong that abe was, Marcus. She could've snapped Savannah's neck like a twig all on her own. For all I know, they weren't going to kill her... at least not yet. But that's beside the point....[/color]" [i]"[color=a2d9ce]Marcus.[/color]"[/i] she said, noticing that he seemed to be avoiding eye contact. "[color=a2d9ce]Seriously. Look at me and say that if I hadn't tackled that abe, Savannah's neck wouldn't have snapped. Don't... don't bullshit me. I've thought about this.[/color]" Marcus closed his eyes and shook his head, thinking the whole thing over. She didn't deserve this; to be tearing herself down over someone else's mistake. over [i]his[/i] mistake. "[color 33ec06]No. It wouldn't have.[/color]" he finally said, turning to look at Callan. "[color 33ec06]If you hadn't tackled her, she probably wouldn't have broken her neck. She probably would have been eviscerated by the gargoyle. Had her throat torn open. Maybe she would have gotten a spike through the chest.[/color]" His voice was rising a little bit slightly, the product of his anger towards himself spilling out. "[color 33ec06]I don't know if you noticed, Callan, but that group wasn't exactly taking hostages. They weren't friendly - they were there to [i]kill[/i] us.[/color]" His voice dropped back down to his normal tone, picking up its own slightly shaky tenor along the way. "[color 33ec06]I'm sorry, Cal. But I don't think there was anything you could have done. Like you said - she could have snapped Savannah's neck all on her own.[/color]" Again, Callan didn’t seem entirely convinced, but she decided that was good enough. She shouldn’t have been so insistent anyway. Marcus probably hadn’t wanted to talk about it any more than she did. He did have a point, thoughβ€” it was entirely likely Savannah would’ve died whether she’d been there or not. Part of her even wished those abes had gotten it over with before she arrived. If only so she could stop feeling like there was something else she could have done. Her face screwed up with regret and disgust at how her mind kept trying to cope. She went back to nervously running the pad of her thumb over each knuckle. β€œ[color=a2d9ce]Sorry,[/color]” she said, knowing it was a little too late to start feeling bad about making Marcus uncomfortable. β€œ[color=a2d9ce]I shouldn’t have unloaded all of that on you. I just… I don’t know who else to apologize too. I didn’t know anything about her. I don’t know who her friends were or how to reach her family or…[/color]” the words caught in her throat and she swallowed, β€œ[color=a2d9ce]Sorry. I should probably just stop talking about it.[/color]” Her mouth twitched into half of an apologetic smile. She could talk about it all day, but it wouldn’t change anything. Savannah was dead. What more was there to discuss? "[color 33ec06]It's okay. It's difficult, and it never gets any easier.[/color]" Marcus said, giving Callan a broken smile. "[color 33ec06]But hey, I'm still here, and you're still here. Even if you feel beaten down and broken - we're both [i]here[/i]. That's all that matters.[/color]" His smile grew a little bit warmer, but still retained the obvious signs of fractures. It was nothing he could help; he just didn't have the strength for it. "[color 33ec06]You should rest. You've been through a lot today, and I just wanted to check up on you, give you another pep talk if you needed it, deliver a couple presents, etc.[/color]" It was a clumsy exit, but as much as he felt he needed to help out his roommate, he was starting to show too much. He needed to leave before he overextended himself with Callan, before things started to peek through. Callan winced at the noticable difference in his smile. Marcus was obviously hurting and she certainly hadn't helped things. At least they'd both kept their promise? He was right. They both made it back alive. She considered offering a hug. He'd done that for her once. But she faced the same dilemma as before. She needed to keep herself from getting too upset and she was already on the cusp of tears as it was. Hugs were always quick to make her unravel and she just couldn't afford that right now. "[color=a2d9ce]Alright,[/color]" she nodded, "[color=a2d9ce]Yeah... I'm glad you're okay, Marcus. Thanks for the stuff....[/color]" She tried to smile with the same amount of warmth, "[color=a2d9ce]Make sure you get some rest, too.[/color]" "[color 33ec06]Try to ration it out, I'm not making grocery runs every morning for you because you gorged yourself on junk food.[/color]" Marcus said. One last joke; a quick attempt to regain some of the footing he'd lost. He gave Callan a nod, stretching a little and moving towards the door. Just as it seemed like he was going to round the corner and disappear, he stopped, turning back towards Callan for one last statement. "[color 33ec06]Do me a favor and stop worrying me like that, Cal. I'm gonna go grey here before too long.[/color]" The request caught her off guard. He didn't give her a chance to respond before leaving, either. Callan stared at the empty doorway for a moment, wondering at what he meant before she finally stood up and closed the door. She sighed heavily, feeling only a brief modicum of relief. The weight of the younger girl's death was still heavy on her mind, but she did her best to drown out the noise. Picking up her phone, she turned the device over in her hand a few times before putting in her headphones and lying down.