[@Metal Tortoise]

[i]The problem was that Steer had to say what he was going to do before he did it. If he wanted to change his mind and do something else, he also had to say so. If Steer wanted to avoid Tom's next spell, he had to narrate it, but he had already begun narrating a chi thrust. It seemed that Steer was opting to try and beat Tom to the punch, so to speak, trying to ignore whatever else came his way. The narration spell had entirely changed the flow of the fight though, and Steer's previous strategy wasn't going to be as effective now. Even if he could talk as fast as Tom, that didn't make the curse a positive by any means. It was still very bad news. By the time Steer had gotten past the word 'movements', Tom's first spell would have been fired and its speed was incomparable to anything Tom had used before. As a general rule, the stronger one of Tom's spells was, the slower it traveled. Weak spells were crazy fast. Thing was, sometimes weak spells worked with strong spells to produce dramatically enhanced effects. 'Dirtlingus Shoutloudius' was as fast as a bullet, and for good reason. It forced the opponent to bellow out their dirtiest secret immediately, and again every two minutes. 

Of course, with all this yelling and narrating, Tom's mouth was bound to be loaded with Mr. Horse's bloody poop. The spells all stacked in their little ways. One wasn't so bad, but the effects all benefited from each other in one way or another. Even large animals can fall if enough mosquitos bite.

If Steer was hit by the wickedly fast spell, he'd suddenly be interrupted from his narrated action and be forced to yell his deepest, darkest secret at the top of his voice. During that brief fiasco he'd be unable to narrate, and as such would have no way to defend himself from the next two spells in line or to try and hit Tom in the jaw, which also wasn't very likely. After all, Tom would wind up knowing Steer's attack before it came, and could almost certainly inflict yet another status effect before it touched him.

'Nudesweeta Bareassium', as fast as an arrow, would dissipate all of Steer's clothing and envelope him in a sticky mist of honey. 'Sexchangium Laughardiculum', the speed of a small thrown object, would transmute Steer into the opposite gender. The result in total? A naked, sticky, shit-stained girl blurting out horrible things as a floating cartoon horse voided its bowels over her head.[/i]