[@The Elvenqueen] It's a hellish thing, knowing you have to leave someone behind in a toxic situation and being unsure you can save them. And having to stay in the toxic situation...man, I want to hug you, I haven't gone through exactly the same thing but fuck did your post stir some feelings and memeories in me. One of the most vital resources you can have to get through this are friends--and I don't just mean friends you hang out with, but ones you can talk to about these issues, whom you seek help and comfort from. And remember that even if it feels like betrayal, like abandonment, moving away once you are capable could the best thing you can do to help your father and yourself. You'll end able to get out and start thriving more mentally, and possibly even help him. It's like a catch-22, almost, but keeping going like this will hurt both of you.

...ah shoot, looking at the next page it seems like I mirrored what HeySeuss said. It's still something I mean with all my heart, though. Good luck out there, friend.