Folks who have citizenship in literally anywhere but the United States:

I have seen a few articles predicting the 2020 re-election of Donaeld Drumpf, Illiterate Asshole, Dumbfuck, Covfefe Master, Rotted Carrot Top, and Sexual Predator in Chief.

If this comes to pass, I will marry you.

Marriage of convenience.

Marriage of inconvenience.

Open marriage.

Closed marriage.

I don't give a fuck.

Let's honeymoon in Sudan.

Let's vacation in North Korea and contract "Botulism."

Let's go swimming in crude oil and light ourselves on fire.

Let's launch ourselves into the cosmos and hope we pass out before suffocating or being crushed to death by the vacuum of space.

Let's graft elephant tusks onto our bodies and and live off the land in Africa, hoping not to run into Donald Jr. and Eric Trump (but secretly hoping we will run into them because goddamn our corpses will look fantastic in a press photo).

Let's summon Alexander the Great from beyond the grave and send him to flaunt his bisexuality in Pence's face.

Let's open a makeshift lipo suction salon and ruin people's lives.

Let's bake cupcakes and decorate them with sprinkles and serve them on cute china plates.

Just give me dual citizenship, pls.