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[IMG]http://i65.tinypic.com/28hztyw.jpg[/IMG] [img]https://i.imgur.com/pvtkADB.png?1[/img]

[h2][color cyan]Sander[/color] | [color 8493ca]Christmas[/color][/h2]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img] 
[sub]Collab with [Danny][/sub][/center]
[hider=Scent: Vivid]
[color=silver][center]𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕕𝕒𝕪: 𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟙𝟡, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕎𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕥𝕠𝕟, 𝔻.ℂ.   / /   ℝ𝕠𝕪𝕒𝕝 ℙ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕊𝕦𝕚𝕥𝕖    / /  ~~𝟙𝟙𝟘𝟘[/center][/color]
Sander left the buffet floor behind, slightly confused by what just happened. That man took their picture, but…he used a phone? Reporters didn’t really use phones right? Sander wasn’t sure what to make of it, so he just pushed all that to the back of his mind instead. Probably just some curious Regulars who had just seen subnaturals for the first time. 

However, as he neared his room, the scent of coffee was distinctively missing. Christmas wasn’t there. He paused at the doorway, hand on the knob but didn’t go in. There was no point, after all. He brought breakfast for Christmas, and if the boy wasn’t here, he had to go find him. So he did just that, wandering each floor and trying to catch the heady coffee scent. 

As he walked, his thoughts went back to last night. Of course he knew what a kiss was. He still half-remembered those sappy romantic movies his mother enjoyed so much. He remembered what the characters used to call ‘love’.

But that word didn’t fit here. Didn’t fit with who he was. So he thought it would be best not to think about it anymore. Because it might have been nothing more than just drunken mistakes. He was just thinking too much. 

So he stopped, and just focused on searching for Christmas’ scent instead. It wasn’t long before he found it though, and it led him into the arcade, which had emptied of people long before his arrival and remained empty so long as a particular healer subnatural continued sitting in the corner. He spotted a head of blond hair adorned with blue at a table in the lounge area, so he made his way over quickly. Christmas didn’t seem to notice his approach, the boy staring steadily at the table in front of him.

Sander drew closer until he was right behind the blond boy, before putting a hand on his shoulder and gave it a light shake. The smaller boy jumped with the sudden realization, whirling around to see who it was and looking even more panicked at the sight of Sander.

[color 8493ca]”S-sorry,”[/color] he blurted out automatically, eyes wide with relief and, strangely, fear.

“[color cyan]Morning to you too.[/color]” -Sander raised an eyebrow at his roommate’s strange reaction, but didn’t comment on it -”[color cyan]How are you feeling?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”F-fine…I’m—I’m sorry about last night,”[/color] came another instant response.

“[color cyan]Don’t worry about it. You were drunk.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”B-but I shouldn’t have…done that to you. D-Didn’t mean to—I should’ve asked or—uh—n-no, s-sorry.”[/color] He was having a hard time explaining it without explaining it, and Christmas looked back down, more apologetic than usual.

“[color cyan]I don’t mind.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”But it’s wrong. I-I’m sorry. You’re not…not weird like that. I’m sorry.”[/color]

“[color cyan]Weird? What do you mean?[/color]” -Sander took a seat next to his roommate, then placing a wrapped sandwich in front of Christmas.

The sandwich made it worse, how caring Sander was even after all that. Christmas took it in both hands, his [color 8493ca]”Thank you”[/color] muffled by the crinkling of the wax paper wrap. What [i]did[/i] he mean? He wasn’t sure, but he had decided that anyway, because it was easier to justify that Sander didn’t like him because Sander didn’t like guys, rather than thinking Sander didn’t like him because of who he was.

He continued staring at the sandwich, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. Too many things, really, but not enough nerve.

[color 8493ca]”You don’t…like guys, r-right? Not—not like that…s-so I shouldn’t have—shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable…I’m sorry.”[/color]

“[color cyan]But I like you.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”B-but not l-like that.”[/color] He peeled back the paper around the sandwich, noticing his own hunger at last when the smells of roast beef and melted mozzarella reminded him that he hadn’t eaten breakfast.

“[color cyan]You don’t like that?[/color]” -Sander blinked, a lump forming in his throat -”[color cyan]I mean…I can… try to stop. If you want.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”Huh? No—I…um…I like it. A lot. L-like you a lot, t-too. But I’m, uh, I’m sorry for doing that to you. I just…I like you a lot…”[/color] It felt like talking to a wall sometimes, saying something like that knowing Sander would misunderstand, but Christmas just bit into a corner of the sandwich, grateful enough that Sander hadn’t entirely abandoned him.

“[color cyan]Then what’s the problem?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”O-oh…”[/color] Right. There wasn’t a problem. He was just making it into one because he cared too much about something Sander didn’t care about at all. He swallowed the bite of food, the flavor unnoticed in his consternation. [color 8493ca]”N-nothing. S-sorry. I’m okay.”[/color] This sort of thing was trouble for Alvin, too. He shouldn’t have done anything, but now that he had, the least he could do was stop making it worse. He didn’t want to become annoying to Sander, too.

“[color cyan]You are strange this morning.[/color]” -Sander reached out, pressing a hand against Christmas’ forehead -”[color cyan]Are you sure you are alright? Headache?[/color]” 

[color 8493ca]”Little—little bit, but I’m…I’m okay,”[/color] he insisted, chewing mindlessly on another bite of the sandwich. Eat all his food, do what he was told, don’t bother people, stop being annoying—he knew how to do these things. He knew how to be less of himself so people could tolerate him. 

“[color cyan]Water will help.[/color]” -Sander stood up then, remembering the bits of wisdom from his past -”[color cyan]I’ll be right back.[/color]”

A few minutes later, he returned with a bottle of water in his hand; it only took a few words from him to request one from the skittish attendant. He offered Christmas the bottle after sitting back down.  

[color 8493ca]”Th-thank you.”[/color] Christmas uncapped the water bottle and sipped from it, because he wasn’t supposed to ignore it when someone gave him something. That always annoyed Alvin, too.

Sander observed his roommate for a few more moments until he was absolutely sure the boy was alright. Only then, he spoke. 

“[color cyan]I enjoy last night, you know.[/color]”

Christmas choked on his food, coughing suddenly and downing a quarter of the water bottle before the reaction subsided.

[color 8493ca]”H-huh?”[/color] He blinked warily at Sander, eyes scanning the other’s face like he wasn’t sure if the statement was a joke or not.

“[color cyan]The bar and…everything.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”O-oh, y-yeah, the bar was—was nice,”[/color] he agreed, deciding to stick with the parts they could both agree on. [color 8493ca]”U-um, I’ll b-be more careful next time—if, um, if we go again. S-sorry.”[/color]

“[color cyan]Don’t have to be. Hey, it was alright.[/color]” -Sander only smiled -”[color cyan]I might go again tonight. You want to come?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”I, uh, d-don’t want to m-mess up again.”[/color] He had promised to be more careful, but he still didn’t think he should risk a repeat so soon after the first mistake.

“[color cyan]I told you. I really don’t mind.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”…E-even the…the…s-stuff after…?”[/color] His eyes were wide, staring at Sander again.

“[color cyan]It’s fine. It’s still you.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”Is it really…fine? Y-you don’t, um…l-like me that way…isn’t it bad?”[/color]

“[color cyan]I [i]do[/i] like you.[/color]”

Frustrating, Christmas thought, as the vague insistence came out again. He was sure Sander didn’t understand what he was saying, because it would be absurd, wouldn’t it, if he could like someone and for someone to like him back in a way that surpassed friendship.

[color 8493ca]”But I…I like you more,”[/color] he tried to explain, the soft answer sad in its slow-paced emergence.

Sander let out a soft laugh, clearly amused -”[color cyan]How do you know?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”B-because…because I…liked…last night…t-too,”[/color] Christmas replied, every word slow and careful as he seemed to shrink the closer he came to admitting the truth. [color 8493ca]”I…”[/color] he ducked his head, scooting his chair away in shame, [color 8493ca]”…l-liked k-kissing you…”[/color] His shoulders trembled and the sandwich was squeezing out of shape in his hands. [color 8493ca]”I’m s-sorry.”[/color] A whisper that meant nothing, because he still liked Sander [i]more[/i].

The mention of the kiss tugged at something in his chest, and Sander fiddled with the collar of his shirt. 

“[color cyan]You like…doing that?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”I’m sorry.”[/color] The voice was faint and Christmas still didn’t look up.

Sander reached toward Christmas’ face with both his hands then, mimicking what his roommate did last night. 

“[color cyan]Do you?[/color]” -Sander coaxed the blond boy to look back up at him -”[color cyan]Because I don’t mind. I told you.[/color]” 

[color 8493ca]”But you’re…not supposed to do that if you…don’t like s-someone…th-that way,”[/color] Christmas protested, trying to use the sandwich as a buffer between him and Sander.

“[color cyan]That way?[/color]” -Sander titled his head, confused.

[color 8493ca]”…R-roman-romantically…”[/color] The sandwich now covered Christmas’s face.

“[color cyan]Uh…But you kissed me.[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”Y-yeah.”[/color]

“[color cyan]Do you…like me romantically?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”…Y-yes…”[/color] And the words were hardly more than a sigh. [color 8493ca]”I-I’m sorry.”[/color]

“[color cyan]Is that…a bad thing?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”…F-for you? M-maybe? I…um…I don’t know. I’m sorry.”[/color]

Sander was quiet as he thought about that, though he kept his hands pressed against Christmas’ cheeks. The warmth there felt pleasant, so he didn’t want to let go, even if there was a sandwich between their faces at the moment.

He thought about how Christmas liked him [i]that way[/i], and he realized he didn’t really mind. No. He didn’t mind at all. 

As long as Christmas stayed.

That strange feeling blossomed in the space of his chest again, and it only grew as he leaned closer, nudging the sandwich aside, then pressed his lips against Christmas. 

He had never learnt to properly kiss before, so he just, once again, mimicked what his roommate did last night. 

Christmas worried, as he always did, that he was doing something wrong letting Sander repeat yesterday night but without the comfortable excuse of alcohol and impaired judgment. It was so warm, though, where their lips met and he should’ve clarified and made sure Sander wasn’t doing even this out of oblivious obligation, but the questions wouldn’t come, let alone the willpower to push his roommate away.

It was a quick kiss, the kind he often saw girls give each other in passing, but it meant enough that Sander returned it. When blue eyes and pale skin finally pulled away, Christmas was staring frozen, stunned with no words and thoughts available except for the ridiculous sidetrack that his sandwich was getting cold.

“[color cyan]Oh…you didn’t like it?[/color]” -Sander blinked, slightly alarmed at his roommate’s strange expression.

Christmas didn’t respond, putting the sandwich carefully down on the table while he fought with the tremor in his shoulders. But—and it was a thought that came with a flash of red ribbon out of the corner of his eye and the blooming heat of Sander’s hands against his cheeks—he didn’t want to fight this.

Before he recognized what he was doing, in the same way he had almost missed himself twining blue around Sander’s wrist in the hospital room, his arms were around Sander’s back and his face hidden in Sander’s shoulder.

He didn’t know what to say. Even answering the simple question was beyond him. So he held on for dear life and hoped Sander would understand.

Yet, the blood mage struggled to understand his own feelings, let alone his roommate’s strange reactions. So he just hugged Christmas back, patting the boy’s back gently. 

“[color cyan]You’re alright?[/color]”

It took too long for his throat to remember how to vocalize sounds, but Christmas managed a weak [color 8493ca]”I’m f-fine.”[/color] 

His grip on Sander relaxed, but he still held on, resting his cheek against the ridge of Sander’s collarbone that pressed against his temple through the shirt fabric.

“[color cyan]You’re sure? Did I do that wrong?[/color]”

[color 8493ca]”N-no…it…it was good.”[/color] He fumbled to explain, then gave up and said what he meant. [color 8493ca]”I-I liked it.”[/color]

“[color cyan]I can do it again.[/color]”

Christmas didn’t think his heart could take another one, with how rapidly it was beating. [color 8493ca]”L-like hugging you, too.”[/color]

A quick scream and a speedy exit from a group of teenagers just rounding one of the arcade aisles jolted him out of the dazed reverie that half his mind was still lingering in while he hid his face from Sander.

Christmas shrank back, picking up his sandwich again and biting into it, the action far too late to save face. [color 8493ca]”S-sorry,”[/color] he mumbled, looking up only when the footsteps had faded. [color 8493ca]”Th-they saw…um…I—I don’t know if you…if you’re okay w-with other people…s-seeing…?”[/color] Somehow, it was harder to talk now that Sander at least hadn’t rebuffed him.

“[color cyan]I don’t mind.[/color]” -Sander only shrugged, unsure why Christmas was getting so worked up. Was he also concerned about scaring the regulars? -”[color cyan]It’s not your fault, you know. Don’t have to be sorry for that.[/color]”

The blond nodded, chewing on his food instead and failing to describe what he was really concerned about. Maybe it didn’t really matter. He ate quickly, partly from hunger and partly from a need to finish his food and just [i]focus[/i] on Sander. 

When it all boiled away, he just wanted to hold Sander’s hand.

Sander waited patiently for Christmas to finish his meal, watching the movements around him absentmindedly. Occasionally, he glanced back at his roommate and was glad to see the boy didn’t show any outward sight of distress again. 

So the kiss…thing did work. And Sander admitted, it wasn’t unpleasant at all. In fact, he liked it. But the feelings behind that act…

Sander wasn’t sure about them. Wasn’t sure if they were the same as Christmas’. Wasn’t sure if he even deserved them. Because he had been…different for so long. He changed. Wanted to change. But he still couldn’t claim to be the same as Christmas or Callan. Or even Ernie. 

He was still a violent X mark. One of the worst. He wasn’t sure how things like ‘love’ and ‘affections’ worked for people like him. 

So he decided to just stay silent and watched his roommate instead.

Between the two of them there was a silent agreement that the conversation wouldn’t progress further for the day, because what more was there to say that would be true at the moment?

Christmas crumpled up the wax paper when he was finished with the sandwich, wadding it up in his hand and sipping from the water bottle again. His hands shook and threatened to spill water down his shirt again, but he put the bottle down before the trembling could cause a mess.

He was ecstatic.

But it was a fearful happiness. Nothing was certain.

For now he thought that was okay. If he could stay alive long enough, maybe they’d both figure it out together. It was a risky hope, and so easily shattered in their situations, but he’d staked what was left of his fortitude on it. He would, as long as Sander was there.
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