[center][h3]Reflection[/h3]
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[I]A By-Product from Master [@Dervish] and I[/I]

[I]26th of Sun's Height, 4E205, 06:32…[/I]

The morning brought with it a sense of odd serenity that was underlined with no small amount of tension. Word had spread about the murders and the subsequent arrest of Daixanos and Tsleeixth, and it seemed to Do’Karth that Dawnstar wasn’t unlike the kettle of stew he was tending to at the moment; while the weather was pleasant and the seas weren’t particularly rough, everything could boil over at a moment’s notice and create no small amount of chaos that stood to destroy the fragile and tense peace, namely between the town itself and the Argonian refugee camp. 

There was a war going on, and even despite the battles the mercenaries had fought the last few days, Dawnstar seemed to pretend it was in its own self-contained world with its own problems that didn’t involve the rest of Skyrim. Both the guards and the Argonians were too busy staring daggers into each others’ souls that they were blinding themselves to the unspeakable evil that was only days away from attacking, rendering their petty conflict completely pointless. The Khajiit sighed, dropping a few sliced potatoes in with the salmon chunks and broth he’d already had going. 

He felt somewhat disappointed and ashamed of himself for feeling relieved to be leaving on the [I]Steelhead[/I] to go fight the war proper and leave the problems of Dawnstar, and his friends, behind knowing full well all of which might not be there when… if they returned. Do’Karth lost Jorwen, but he still had Sevine. As far as he was concerned, she was the only one he needed to concern himself with keeping safe. He cared about his new friends, of course, but there was still a part of himself that was screaming at every fiber of his being to just pick up and leave, as he had always done when the local situation was unfavourable. He was a wanderer, not a mercenary. He’d only signed up with the company to begin with because he thought he’d be helping people in need and seeing Skyrim in relative comfort and security. Now he was being dragged across frigid seas and being thrown against snow demons that had such a horrifying disregard for life and the power to see it through that he didn’t see a way for the war to end favourably for anyone except for the Kamal and their damned Dunmer pets.

The ladle circled through the stew slowly, kicking up chunks that had settled and Do’Karth’s mind fluttered to Niernen and the whirlwind of emotions that had transpired since she came back from what Do’Karth thought was certain death. Could he be so cavalier about her fate if he’d left, what about Solveig? Didn’t he promise Jorwen he’d keep her safe? Solveig didn’t need him guarding her, she was more than capable of that on her own and she had Sadri, who was coming to Bleakrock with the ship and away from Solveig. And Niernen had more or less professed that she loved Do’Karth on their way back after her rescue, it was so sudden and unexpected. He’d shown her simply the same kindness and compassion he’d shown everyone, but did they have a bond from their fights in Windhelm, and did she just latch onto the most familiar and comforting person after her captivity? He wanted to help her, and he would, but they weren’t feelings he’d be able to reciprocate. Do’Karth smiled in spite of it all, a terse and humourless upturn of his lips. He’d courted the affections of two beautiful women, and he’d already decided on one at the detriment of the other.

[I]This one cannot help them all.[/I] he decided, rounding out the general sentiment of the morning. The Khajiit simply could not be everywhere at once, and people were going to get hurt and he’d be powerless to do anything about it. It just left a sour taste in his mouth that there were promises he’d not be able to keep, and against his better judgement, he’d become rather attached to many of the company. He decided he was a fool for signing up to begin with.

Looking back at the tent flaps behind him, he thought, [I]But had this one not, Sevine and Do’Karth never would have met.[/I] He clutched the amulet of S’rendarr about his neck, cradling it for comfort and reassurance. Once more, the divines made life much more uncomfortable and clear than he had wished, and they were silent to his prayers. 

    The growing light of early morning struck her as she pushed back the canvas flap. Her eyes squinted to adjust to the change in light, and so she stretched her aching muscles. When the sleep from her eyes had faded, she came join Do’Karth seated by the fire. She leaned into him, and rested her head upon his shoulder. Moments passed before she pressed her lips into his cheek.

“Good morning.” She said, only to turn her head away to stifle a yawn. “I had the strangest dream just now.” A playful grin spread across her lips as she gazed at him, one arm propped on her knee to cradle her chin.

“I dreamt that I was feasting in the great halls of Sovngarde. And there on the table were silver platters piled high with delicious foods. Sweet rolls, roasted goat leg, seasoned venison steaks, and the most wonderful tasting stews. I had plate after plate of food, and yet I couldn’t fill my stomach. I went through an entire platter of apple pie, and I still wasn’t full.” She let out a chuckle as she continued, “I think it was your cooking I was smelling.” Sevine returned to her early position of leaning against him, her head on his shoulder.

“This one is afraid that this breakfast is not endless.” Do’Karth said with an apologetic smile. “Do’Karth is but a simple Khajiit, the divines tend to show off when it comes to even the simple matters of breakfast.” 

He tilted his head so it rested upon Sevine’s. “Do’Karth trusts you slept okay? How are your wounds?” he asked,  concerned. She seemed to be limber and in good spirits, which was encouraging. 

“Mmm, endless or not, at least my stomach will be full.” She said, “My wrist and ankle feel much better, the swelling has gone down considerably. There is little pain when I stretch the muscles. It is my side that aches still, the bruising remains, and when I breathe in deep, there is a sharp pain. But nothing that I can’t handle.” 

“In terms of sleep…” Sevine shook her head, the startling news of the arrest of Daixanos and Tsleeixth left her angered, “I slept when I could. I am more frustrated than anything. I [i]know[/i] that they are innocent, and I am more annoyed that I cannot help in this investigation. But… to Bleakrock we must go.” Her head lifted from his shoulder as she stared at the flickering flames below the stew. 

    Then, she cast a sideways glance at Do’Karth, “What about you? How do you feel?” She implied, hinting at the duel from the afternoon before with Leif. Her feelings were a mix of annoyance and pride; annoyed that Leif had let his emotions get the best of him, and proud that Do’Karth rightfully put him in his place. Or so she hoped. Sevine uttered not a word about Khazki either, now was not the time to mention a new friend she had made… if she could call her a friend.

    The Khajiit paused stirring the stew and seemingly froze in place, wondering how much he should articulate. In the end, he decided it would be best to be open. “Do’Karth is uncertain about his path fighting this war, it was never his place to be involved in it. Had he not found people to care for, he would have left long ago. He fears losing those people, he is conflicted about how he should feel, about… well, everything. This one is trying to do right, but the path is not clear. He feels Dawnstar will not be there when we return from our mission, all because the idiots are too preoccupied in fighting each other than preparing for the Kamal. Everyone hurts, emotions are raw and volatile, and how are we supposed to fight a war when we keep losing more of ourselves and our friends along the way?” he asked, grinding his pointed teeth between each other in frustration. 

“Leif attacks Do’Karth out of jealousy, one of our few remaining commanders was named after kicking a Khajiit to death, and every single day we’re thrown against the unknown and come back lesser each time. It cannot go on like this, it is as if we are buried up past our chests in sand, and each time we exhale, it collapses tighter so our lungs draw less air. Do’Karth thinks this entire ordeal is exceedingly stupid.”

    His words left her silent. He had spoke openly, and his words were painfully truthful. What could she say? She could try to console him, or explain some of what he said, but in the end… Do’Karth words were the truth. 

“You are right.” She said. A silence filled the air before the sound of her clearing her throat broke the void. “I will not console you, nor will I attempt to explain any of these conflicts. There is no need to do so.” 

“Leif attacked you out of jealousy, and also out of heartbreak. I have to admit, never have I witnessed him act the way he did for as long as I have known him. I wish you to know this. I pity him, for his emotions will be his downfall. He has a fool’s heart when it comes to love. I would hope that he has some sense of decency to come and apologize. If he does not, I will not hold that against him.
    “Even more so, you are also right about everyone’s emotions running amok. I am inexperienced too, by joining on with a mercenary company. To think I have signed my name in a contract for payment does not bother me. What [i]does[/i] trouble me, is the sole fact that we do not have a sole leader to guide us. 
    “Sure, we have Ashav, but do we ever see him join us on these missions now? Not so much. We have Dumhuvud, who is not exactly a leader by all means, we have Ariane, and Edith, we had Farid, we had Daelin, but they do not work collectively as group. They do not work to lead us. They work for pay. This is what I have come to see. There is no leadership when those around you are concerned about their next pouch of septims. Perhaps… someone should step up, and become a leader to our rag-tag group. A leader in the sense of leading by example. Someone who is able to step away from situations and view our problems without bias. Someone...like you.” 

That caused Do’Karth to blink, completely blindsided by the suggestion. “This one does not see your logic. Was Do’Karth not just explaining how he did not wish to be here, and it was only people he cared for that kept him?” He asked, taking Sevine’s hand in his own. “Do’Karth is not a leader, nor does he have a mind for the more intellectual parts of war. This one would never dare try to take authority away from the leaders we have, what we need now is more unity, not less. He just… he just thinks we need a break, away from the war. Let others handle the fighting for a change. Moreover, Do’Karth doesn’t wish to lose sight of who he is. This war reminds him more and more of the life he left behind. It scares him.”

    For once, her attempt to inspire those around her… had failed. She had blindly stepped around the pieces he had said. A heat rose to her cheeks as her gaze shifted to the furred hand enveloping her own. She gave a tender squeeze before finding the courage to meet Do’Karth’s amber eyes. 

    “My love… I cannot run away. Even if I am afraid, I cannot. I cannot forsake those who would live to see another day if it meant that I stayed my ground and fought.” Sevine paused, withdrawing her hand from his grip.

    “If you wish to leave… I will not stop you. But I could not go with you. My duty is here, contract or not. Even in these dire times, my country and my kinsmen need me.” Her throat tightened at the mere thought of fleeing Skyrim, or even to seek refuge far from the fighting. As some would say, it went against the very grain of her nature. While the retreat at Nightgate left her with doubts concerning her own morals, and weakness as a human, she knew she could not flee all of Skyrim.

    Do’Karth’s head lulled back to look at the sky, perhaps finding some answers in the clouds that listlessly passed overhead. 

    “This one is not going anywhere.” He promised, closing his eyes and letting out a slow breath. “Do’Karth has learned long ago that what he wants and what he needs to do are entirely separate things. He could not abandon you, or the others. This one just wishes to be open, to let you know that he is terrified and has a lot of misgivings about his circumstances, but at least Do’Karth has Sevine.” he said, opening his eyes and returning to the stew. It looked about done. He began to dish it out with the well-worn wooden ladle into matching bowls he had laid out. He desperately wished to take a pinch of moon sugar, but given the circumstances, he decided he did not wish to give the wrong impression to Sevine. He just needed to clear and purify his thoughts and soul. “Do’Karth just thinks everyone needs to be given a chance to rest. We’re all suffering, physically and spiritually. Every day is a new battle, lost friends, more chaos and discord. He feels that we’ve forgotten how to live in our pursuit of trying not to perish to these snow demons.”

    She readily received the bowl of stew, steam rose from its liquid surface, curling into the air. This time around Sevine did not speak at once, she let her thoughts form into coherent lines of speech. As a warrior, and a hunter, she saw much of the world in a different light. Yet, when it came to Do’Karth, she felt… well that was just it. Sevine, for once, could not identify her own feelings. She loved Do’Karth, that she knew. 
    
    Closing her eyes as she brought the lip of the bowl to her mouth, she blew a gust of cool air across the surface. Were death to meet her in these coming days, the last thing she wanted was to lose her sense of taste. Her mind ventured back to that evening spent in Leif’s house. The image of Do’Karth tending to her leg came in a flash, the soothing glow of the fire, his amber-orange eyes mirroring the flames, and even his tender touch as he focused on her leg. These were all welcoming in her mind’s eye. And if Do’Karth had noticed, or not, he would have seen her smiling. 

    She opened her eyes, and gazed into the stew she cradled. Her memory recalled their conversation shared under that roof of House Raven-Stone. Sevine revealed unto Do’Karth, how she became the [i]Huntress[/i]. She revealed to him the guilt, and the shame she carried with the honor of having a Name. Her deed of slaughtering a man in cold blood while he relieved his bowels. There was no honor in that, no honor in killing a defenseless man. Even if he had nearly cost her her very life. When she opened up to Do’Karth about the truth behind her Name, he accepted what she had done, and did so without judgement. Much to her surprise, Do’Karth then revealed to her his deepest secret. And she, in return, had not judged him.

    Now, her eyes shifted to Do’Karth, studying him as he ate. As she admired the straightness of his back, his words came back to her in a wave. Surely, being in a relationship was something that she was not experienced in. She had to bury her initial response as a soldier, and remember that Do’Karth was her lover. 

    “Forgive me…” she started, lowering the bowl of stew so as to address him properly, “I forget that… you are not a common soldier. I must remind myself to stop and think before I speak. I appreciate that you are being open with me, and sharing your thoughts. I hope that we have a break as well. War is exhausting. It is but a whirlwind of endless chaos. When I fought against the Legion, I often wondered if it was ever going to end. But now, I have you. And that changes everything that I’ve ever believed.” She then returned to her stew.
 
    The Khajiit smiled warmly, but tiredly. “There is nothing to forgive. We each have a unique perspective on this world, for this one was once an assassin who has since sought atonement, and you are a warrior who has the rhythm of battle beating to your heartbeat. It gives you a dangerous beauty and sense of pragmatism Do’Karth admires, speaking of which…” he said, pulling a wrapped bundle from under a travel pack, offering it to Sevine with both hands. “A gift for this one’s Huntress.”

    Her eyes widened at the sight of the gift he held towards her, causing her to set aside her stew in haste. “Do’Karth…” She began, taking the gift into her hands. A tight lump formed at the back of her throat as the weight of the object felt familiar. It had to be… With great care, as if she were unraveling an Elder Scroll itself, her fingers peeled back the canvas wrap. Cold metal gleamed in the morning light, and in her hands she held a new, steel axe.

    Fingers curled around the shaft as she bent her head, her teeth biting into the flesh of her lower lip. “You… I…” 

Her head lifted, she wanted to look him in the eye as she said this, “Thank you.” Sevine set the axe aside, and rose to her feet. 

She quickly closed the distance between them, where she then threw her arms around his shoulders. “This is more than I could ever ask.” And so, she kissed him on the cheek.

    Do’Karth wrapped his arms around Sevine, careful not to knock against his own bowl or the cauldron that still bubbled over the dying flames of the pit. “You would have a hard time being a warrior without a trusted weapon.” He smiled, burying his chin in her shoulder blade. “And what kind of partner would this one be if he didn’t do everything in his power to keep you safe?” 

“I love you, Do’Karth.” She whispered into him, “Everything you do for me… have done for me… it has been out of genuine kindness. I cannot thank you enough.” Slowly she pulled away from him, and gestured to the food.

    “Stew is best eaten hot, no?” She teased, and settled back down beside her new weapon, and reclaimed her bowl.

    “Do’Karth once had to dine on nothing but beetles and grubs for a week. He decided a long time ago that cold stew is better than the alternative.” He chuckled, picking his bowl back up and leaning over to give Sevine an affectionate peck on the brow, already feeling much better about the day ahead, his misgivings fading like the morning sleep. “There’s much more that this one will do for you, until the end of our days. Perhaps he will find you a crown, or a nice cabin by the lake. For now, Do’Karth is thrilled that you humbly accept the gifts he can afford on his meager salary.” Her eyes twinkled at his words, her mouth full of food prevented her from replying, she hoped he would not take offense for her silence.

The look on her face was enough to make the small token of his affection, the simple but rugged axe, seem well worth every coin spent. 

The two finished their meals and tidied up, and within the hour were down to the docks, the ship waiting to take on its passengers. Not fearing the sea as much as he had even a couple missions ago, Do’Karth stepped aboard with reassurance, his staff braced across his broad shoulders, feeling that whatever was going to come was something that Sevine and him could face together. Looking to the sun’s illuminating beams breaking through a stubborn cloud, he smiled, having found the guidance and reassurance that he so desperately needed.