So anyway, potential conspiracy theories to use in this (they're all connected, btw. How? Good question...):
"The Girl Scouts are responsible for the crop circle phenomenon. Anyone who is in the presence of a crop circle or sees a picture of a crop circle will get a sudden urge for Thin Mints."
"Abraham Lincoln put the hit out on himself. He gave Booth a gun with a false bullet. Lincoln did it so he could lead the civil rights movement in Brazil."
"Boy bands are all androids that live in captivity between concerts and interviews, made by large corporations to brainwash girls from the ages of 8 to 16 into hormone-driven zombies."
"Red M&Ms are the most prevalent in advertising M&Ms. This is because Red is an analog for Communism, and the advertisements subtly convince the viewers that Communism is better than Capitalism, in this case Blue who is the least advertised M&M."
"The Moon Landing in 1969 was faked. It was directed by Stanley Kubrick, who almost blatantly admits his involvement in the 1980 film The Shining. This was done in order to intimidate the Soviets." (probably the least outlandish, mostly because it's an actual conspiracy theory)