[quote=@Puff Adder]
A Gladiator with a sword and shield walked upto the bar. His leather skirt clapping solemnly against his thighs. 

"I'll have that sex on the beach." As he slid his sword into his shield.
"No rocks."
[/quote]

Of course, in hell "on the rocks" meant literal rocks, so he just avoided putting any in.  Whale blood, pureed kelp, coconut milk, with a dash of lust and a pinch of adultery for flavor.  Poor it in a salt rim martini glass and you're done.

He set the glass in front of the guy.  "So, what brings you here?"