Well I doubt its actually a case of cyber-stalking (having 2 constantly following my activity in such a way would be ridiculously over the top, - there are much easier ways that don't require 24 hour supervision :P and if it was a case of remote monitoring it wouldn't manifest the way it was) That was a joke to point out the strangeness.

I've noticed the pages keeping a memory - first time it said my account was online while I wasn't, (MOFO GET OFF MY ACCOUNT lol) it seems to be about a 15-20 minute lag whenever I get bored and decided to clock my apparent undead account haha 

I doubt it's a case of simply offline users (I assumed as much myself at first, I actually noticed this about a week ago. It was only last night I decided to run a brief experiment though, unless multiple users frequently decide to lurk in obscure years dead threads (inspiration abounds xD Or you could call it loose plagiarism I suppose...)

You are probably right about the search engine bots, I didn't consider trying it before, because Microsoft Edge is Cancer, but when I checked using Microsoft Edge the issue disappears. Funny, I would expect chrome to be more subtle than that. Also it only seems to be replicable on older threads (couldn't figure out an exact time, it seems to be a mix of most recent activity, and date of the threads creation. Probably takes into account the level of recent traffic as well.

Pretty neat actually to play around with, seeing what triggers it and what doesn't.

Anyways, thank you for the lesson in bots (I think they're called web crawlers?) Interesting little critters.