"[colour=silver][i]...both the locals and the environment. I will need capable escorts. Who will be j-[/i][/colour]"

A long, sharp object that may have been the tip of a bayonet smashed through the loudspeaker, followed by a long groan: [colour=sienna][i]'Oh fuuuck oooooffffff.'[/i][/colour]

Flak Macaque's head reappeared from under his forearms, eyes shut tight as a fat ailing sixty-year-old man's shirt buttons. Without turning on the light, he slapped his alarm clock into the corner, fumbled for a long stick of rebar, smacked Heidi's power button and lumbered into the hallway, a huge jug of cold espresso in his paw.

It was empty by the time he made it to the roof.

[hr]

Shading his eyes with a long palm, Flak Macaque sat on his butt, as monkeys tend to do. Somewhere below him, a gang of reptilian thugs stomped up a storm. He licked the rim of the pitcher as if wishing for a final taste to soothe his passage into Morning Hell, then hung it on one finger and let it fall.

Bump, bump, tumble it rolled down the side of the ship and onto the ground below, where it was met with yelling.

[color=sienna]"Ya know, you'd have more luck if ya just formed a union,"[/color] offered Flak Macaque dejectedly. [colour=sienna]"Like seriously, have you fellas even [i]heard[/i] of conformance to stereotype? I swear I caught one of you saying 'big metal bird' just now, like fuck off."[/colour]

There was a sheepish pause.

"...I was being ironic," muttered a lizardy voice.

[colour=sienna][i]Yeah, yeah,[/i][/colour] thought Flak Macaque. Heidi waved a metal strut to the crowd.

"Dude, though," continued the kobold, clearly trying to make up for her embarrassment at being called out. "It's a UFP core world, we see spacecraft all the time. We were kidding."

[color=sienna]"Whatever,"[/color] acquiesced Flak Macaque. [colour=sienna]"Got any durries?"[/colour]

Mumbled negatives. Flak Macaque sighed and pulled his fingers through the air, trailing a fine mist of ash that resolved itself into a paper roll. He took a tin of tobacco from his toolbox and tapped it as the next kobold spoke up.

"Say, what's a goblin like you doing on a demon ship anyway?"

[color=sienna]"Fucked if I know,"[/color] shrugged Flak Macaque, and lit all three cigarettes in his mouth. [color=sienna]"I didn't pay for this bullshit."[/color]

Murmurs of sympathy from his fellow vectors of petty evil. All in all, thought the monkey, pretty normal start to a Thursday.