[quote=Peic]@Altered Tundra – Kalthar, as Hank put it, feels somewhat disjointed, and this begins in his appearance. It sometimes repeats info and sometimes contradicts himself (an example, as petty as it might be, is his eye color – to my knowledge cerulean blue is much lighter than sapphire blue).

His personality similarly repeats itself and in some places I feel does not make much sense, especially when compared with his biography (his father is described as an honorable man – yet a heavily and violently abusive father and husband). Perhaps it is because we have different conceptions of honor but to me it feels self-contradictory.

The biography suffers from this flaw as well in my opinion. I like the somewhat saga-like manner in which his father and mother met, yet the fact that Kalthar’s mother was a hardened warrior who had defeated his father makes the fact that the man often abused him during marriage baseless. One would expect some sort of reaction from a woman; surely a pact has not devolved her to a shrinking violet. And the biggest flaw is, unless I’ve misread things, that one of timeline. The RP takes place in 4E 202, as the OOC post says, one year after the appearance of the Dragonborn. Yet somehow Kalthar leaves the Companions with the Dragonborn’s appearance and wanders Skyrim for ten years over the course of one year. Kalthar would require extensive reworking to have my approval and with the character limit, he loses my vote.[/quote]

I am thankful for both yours and [@Hank]'s criticisms. Trust me when I say they do not fall on deaf ears. When the second round of recruiting comes around, I will present a much better and cohesive sheet for you two. It is, as they say, if at first you do not succeed, try and try again.