[center][img]https://www.dropbox.com/s/uxjkwjqkrn00cph/Siena%20Banner.jpg?raw=1[/img][/center]

[i]'[color=ff57ff]Shh...quiet...[/color]'[/i]

The drive was hell. Siena had tried her best to isolate herself, kept quiet and curled in with body language that screamed "stay away" in the hopes that it would work. Everyone was tired, so nobody would bother her...or so she had to hope. Still clutching to her phone as though it was a lifeline despite its uselessness, still wishing that the screen would somehow light up without power, that she could [i]do something[/i] about the storm. She tried desperately to quell it with willpower, but it only grew stronger, roared in her ears when she pleaded for silence. Emotions took turns pummeling her when she begged for mercy. 

Guilt, fear, remorse, betrayal, an endless cycle of ruthless batterings that left her fluttering helplessly in their wake like a dead leaf hung by its last fiber to the branch. 

She wished for the comfort of beings far from human. Thought of August and wondered if she would have found comfort--

[i]beat break ruin flesh blood bone beat break ruin flesh blood bone[/i]

--in the feeling of wanting to be more, and failing. That she was not alone, even if the distance between herself and the name was enormous despite how close it was to her. Silent. She had to stay quiet because she didn't think she could handle it if her voice were to break through. Had to keep everything out of sight. 

[i]beatbreakruinfleshbloodbone[/i]

And the hours passed, the cacophany in her head growing with each moment she chose to close herself in. Cracks on the inside, not on the out. She tried again to keep herself together, seal the cracks with something that could keep things together. Keep [i]her[/i] together. No one to come and pull her heart away from its place and bring her closer to what she really was. 

[i]beatbreakguiltpainregretfleshbloodbone[/i]

[hider=storm]And she was back in the middle of everything, a sea that dripped around her, a different type of storm. One that felt calm, but reminded her of what she was. Siena didn't resist, let it find purchase where it belonged. A cool feeling that dribbled over her, but something lingered in the distance. 

Something she didn't know--wrong, she knew it. Something that worked her mind, worked her entirety, slowly seeping in, writhing when it could not find the cracks, boiling when it finally found its place. Slow and careful--no, not careful. Gentle. As if it didn't know what it was reaching for, the featherlight tough of a curious child on an unidentified trinket. 

More soothing than anything that she could muster herself.[/hider]

[i]guiltblameregrethurtbloodbone[/i]

Siena curled closer in on herself and wished to be something further from human.
[hr]
She felt oddly--no, it wasn't odd at all, was it?--at home in the vastness of the estate they were staying at. No, "at home" was more comfortable than she felt. There was a better word. Familiar. This was the type of home that she was used to--hired help, people around. Absent authorities. 

After they'd been given some direction to the house, after they'd been left to their own devices, Siena had broken off. She found herself blindly walking despite knowing, to some extent, where she would be the safest. Locked in her room. Away from everyone. Away from subnaturals she wished were people, and away from the cold, sharp feeling that cut into her every time her fingers slid over a smooth protrusion. Was it hurt? Betrayal? Or maybe it was some evolved version of guilt and shame.

Her feet had eventually taken her to the baths, a familiar sense of isolation. Cold tile beneath her feet, empty space that echoed any sound back to her without mercy. All too familiar, she thought to herself. Still, Siena felt her hand set her phone on the side of the faucet, still absentmindedly stepped into the shower stall and turned the water on. It struck her like an icy blast, her ruined clothing quickly soaking in the chilled water, clinging to her skin with the added weight.

[i]All that red, and none of it sin.

beatbreakruinfleshbloodbone.[/i]

Siena felt glass against her back, a flimsy support that didn't keep her legs from finally giving out. Back into a curled position, knees pulled close to her chest as heated water spilled over her. The warmth masked the searing heat that had risen, clogged her throat and nose, but did nothing to remove it. It continued to burn as she wished that she could be August, Ilsa, Victor, Celia, Mugino, Kanon, [i]anyone but Siena[/i].

The first night after Padma had died, she'd done the same thing.

[i]guiltblameregrethurtbreakcry[/i]