[center][h1][b]BREAKING NEWS[/b][/h1]
[h2]10:07 AM, December 3rd 2017[/h2]
[h3]New York City, New York[/h3][/center]
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[b]"This just in, museum robbery in broad daylight?! "[/b]

"Jean Mcready with the news at Channel 52, here! Looks like the impossible really happens at the Museum of Impossibilities in New York City as Jade Mantis's famous bulletproof pilot goggles have been stolen in the middle of bussiness hours. We'll go onto our man on the scene, Ted Giannopolous, for more."

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"Hey, thanks, Jeanie. It's [i]the[/i] Ted Giannopolous here in front of the Museum of Impossibilities! It seems the museum was closed after the alarms went off. Police and witnesses say the goggles just... disappeared. Eerie. They're playing back the cameras right now, but while we wait for those to air, lets talk to some witnesses!"

...

[i]"So like, I was eating my chili dog, and, like, looking at the rad exhibits, man. Then suddenly, there's this... flash. Not like, the bright kind, but... the goggles just, like, went poof, man. I was about to take another bite of my chili dog until it went poof, too. If you find that guy who stole my chili dog, he better, like, pay me back for that dog, man."[/i]

...

[i]"First off, hiiii Brad! He's my boo, we've been together for... three weeks now, and I feel like he's the one, you know? Annnnnnyway... what were we talking about, again? Oh, yeah! So our class had to come to this lame museum to learn about some old guys or whatever, and when I went to take a selfie with my friends, the alarms, like, went off! I was freaking out so much, I had to send a snap to everyone so they all know how freaked out I was! When I took the snap, this weirdo in a ski mask was behind me with his arm around my shoulder, raising the peace sign and everything! Ugh, that's sooooo 2007. But when I looked behind me, there was nobody there! If this is a bad joke, Brad, you can stop now!"[/i]

...

"So it seems some pretty weird things are happening down here at the Big Apple! Could it be the same culprits as the weirdos in Hub City? Find out more after this commercial break! Also, Jeanie, you never texted me back about lu-"

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