[@Asher890] Well, I am not the GM so I cannot say too much. But as someone who has GMed before, here's my two cents on what to improve. 

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[*]Keep your history out of your appearance, or give only a very brief explanation of how you got the scar.
[*]Put the 'how you met Wren' paragraph somewhere other than the end, even if you're describing on how he thinks of her often. 
[*]Give a tiny bit more reason on a few things happening, like when she was killed. Were the guards disdainful towards her because of any particular reason other than them being douchebags?
[*]When describing his personality, don't say he remembers Wren dying often in his dreams unless it's the beginning of a point for his personality. And even then, like with your appearance, all the GM wants is 'they look/wear this' and 'they act/think like this.'
[/list]

Also, reread your character once over just to make sure you have good word choices. To me it was mostly good, but there were one or two I'd change. 

Other than that, he looks pretty fricken good. Honestly, if I can LIST the things that need improvement, that means it was a good character sheet. The bad sheets are ones I just go with "wow, I cant even begin to correct this." 

There's never been a character sheet submitted that didn't need a tiny bit of improvement! But he looks good.