[@AllHollowsEve][@Ciaran]

[i]Ten thousand of the upper class had gathered, and their cries hit the man standing in the middle of the arena like a physical impact. He could feel the metal of his helm reverberating with their enthusiasm. It was like this every fresh season. The Captain of the Guard himself cutting the ribbon, and at the same time proving to the Empire that he was still the right man for the job. He hefted his greataxe on high, screaming back at the crowd and frothing at the mouth.[/i]

"GO EAT A SHIT FILLED BUNG TROLLEY, YOU DILL DICKED, GOAT-FISTING ASS SLAPPERS!"

[i]The Emperor dropped his head into his hands, suffocating a faint sob. The chief advisor patted him softly on the back, nodding with solemn understanding.[/i]

"This year for sure, M'Lord. That vulgar animal shant tarry on this world another day, corrupting the public with the provocative enticements of obscenity and immaturity. The next Captain of the Guard shall not taint thine image, I swear it. I have sought long for two combatants that may cleanse our ranks of this... Creature. Please, M'Lord, cover thine ears. His hogspeak is not fit for thy divine tastes."

[i]The sky loomed red and black, befouled by the presence of a volcano not thirty miles from the arena. The crowd howled back their approvement of Kull's ridiculous ravings, the Captain now marching around in tight circles, heaving his axe up and down with spittle flecked screams, head twitching like it was hooked up to a car battery.[/i]

"GREASY ASS ON A SKILLET GREASY ASS ON A SKILLET, GO DIE IN A PIT OF AUTISTIC BABOONS YOU TWAT STROKING TURD ROLLS!!"

[i]On one side of the arena, an enormous wrought iron portcullis cranked up. What sort of challenge was set against the red cloaked moron!?[/i]