[@SantosGabriel77] Good to see you're working on your character. However I have a few things to point out, keep in mind that since your CS is a bit of a WIP, it might sound a bit extensive. To start off this review of your character, I wanted to highlight a piece of information for you: 

[QUOTE=The Rules]
[b]You can choose to PM your character sheets to me, or post them in the OOC.[/b]
[/quote]

This does not mean the character tab. So, if you wouldn’t mind, your first step to editing your character will be to remove it from the character tab, and choose one of the two methods mentioned to send it to us. To do this click the edit button and replace with a dash, period, or whatever you like. Then, once your character is edited, (and approved) you can edit that post again and place your character back inside it.

Moving on to the character itself.

To start off, simply put, you’re not using the appearance section for what it’s meant for. Keep in mind that barely a paragraph is not really enough to describe a character. Think about Jon. What does his hair look like? How long is it? Is it clean? Dirty? Thick? Thin? Does he have any special features? Scars? Tattoos? Piercings? What color are his eyes? Is he tall? Short? Stocky? Lanky? How do his Rhinoceros traits affect his appearance? Is his double layered skin noticeable? If it is, what does it look like? 

Moving on to the history section. So, first of all, we would like you to remove the rhinoceros DNA merging from the history all together. In Potpurri that would be done before he was even born, making him a test tube baby so to speak. Some other things you should think about are: Did he have a family? How did his family treat him? How did he treat his family? How did the scientists who experimented on him treat him? How did he react to the treatment? What was he trained in? Fighting? Speaking? Did he have to relearn everything after the experimentation? If he forgot parts of his life, how does that affect him? What exactly did his memory loss take away? What was the intent of his modification? What purpose did the scientists want him to serve? I understand that the way you wrote his history was a way of removing the need to consider these things but history is a very helpful section for the GM's to look at.

For the personality section the first thing we want to touch on, is length. We did say that it didn’t have to be too long, but a sentence is still too short. At the very least two sentences or more are necessary to accurately explain who your character is. He’s stubborn and violent, but what else is he? How does he react to friendship? How does he feel about people in general? How does he deal with people he doesn't know? How does he deal with people he does know? Does he have a sense of humor? What kind? Morbid? Goofy? What makes him angry? What makes him sad? How does he deal with being sad/hurt? How does he react to affection? You don't necessarily need all these things, but they would help us get a better general feel for the character.

So, we’re going to combine his skill and modification sections for ease of explanation. We would like you to explain in more detail how his modification actually works. It gives him double layered skin, and a thick elbow, but what does that actually mean? Does it affect his durability? Can he take more blows than an average person? What does his elbow do? Why is it only one of his elbows? Is he heavier than he looks? Why can he run so fast? Was he taught that? Or, did his modification make it possible? 

Lastly for the weapon section, this seems like a strange choice, but alright.