[center][img]https://www.dropbox.com/s/uxjkwjqkrn00cph/Siena%20Banner.jpg?raw=1[/img][/center]

[hider=Learning to Drive][center]
[h1]Learning to Drive[/h1]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/OiIXHEg.png[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/EqVwCQa.png[/img]

[h2][color 9e0039]Angélique Lachance[/color] | [color ff57ff]Siena Santana[/color][/h2]
[img]http:// i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img] 
[color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟚𝟛 // 𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 // 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 // ~𝟙𝟘𝟘𝟘[/color]
[sub]Collab with...[@Riffus Maximus][/sub][/center]

While Angélique had finally found herself a purpose to continue fighting and promise to become someone better, the young woman still felt to be somewhat mourning. Even though Allison had confessed her undying love for Angel, her words had stricken the raven-haired Aberration deeply. She found herself hurt, not only for not being trusted anymore from her love, but also because she caused so much grief for the brunette. The fallen idol never knew the extend of Allison’s past tragedies, and the fact that she may have caused to reopen these old wounds pained Angel. Just how many of her classmates actually felt that way after the whole incident? Yesterday, Angélique tried to find meaning to her confrontation with Brent and Ernest, and to Allison’s love, as she took the car and went for a ride. It did some good, being alone and thinking without fearing of having someone come and blow at her. As a matter of fact, she used that same moment to blow some steam herself. 
 
Today, Angélique was planning to do the same. She wanted to get away from here and take some more time to think about herself, what she did, what she should be doing, what to make of everything that happened and should be happening in the future. After having prepared everything she needed for her next road trip, the black-haired young woman went to fetch the car keys inside the estate before she happened onto a very pitiful-looking Siena, stumbling around in the estate.
 
She looked terrible, and so did Angélique felt that way when she took a long look at her brunette classmate. She didn’t know if the girl just cried her life out or if she simply didn’t know the meaning of sleep, but Angel felt a bit responsible for what was happening to Siena. While Siena was the one who dropped the cars onto these people, they wouldn’t have been there in the first place if Siren hadn’t pushed these innocents right under the floating cars with a devastating scream. At first, angélique thought Siena had willingly done so to protect herself, but as time went on, the more Angel started believing into her own excuses she gave to the others, thinking it was solely her fault for having murdered these people.
 
[color=9e0039]“Siena… are… you okay? Do you need to talk?”[/color] Angel tentatively asked the Arbiter. Of course she wasn’t well, the Aberration could see that. She was more interested to know if there was anything she could do for her.

It had been a difficult night. 

Between guilt over what had happened, the conversation with her father, the ensuing conversation with Marcus, and a harsh spiral of anxiety, hurt, and pain, Siena hadn't been able to sleep. For once, it wasn't the nightmares keeping her up--or perhaps it was just that the nightmares weren't the only things keeping her from rest. She'd tried to fill the time at first, tried her best to distract herself, but eventually, the brunette had no choice but to do what she'd been avoiding. [i]Had he done it on purpose?[/i] The Arbiter didn't expect an answer. Not soon, if it ever came. It was a harsh realization that cut her like a serrated blade.

For the second time in almost as many days, Siena Santana had been forced to remember that she was still clinging to humanity enough to cry when hurt. 

[i]Did I eat last night...?[/i]

Anything to distract herself from the phone nestled in her pocket and the rare friendship that she'd decided wasn't worth as much as action. [i]Wouldn't he be proud?[/i] The mage kept walking, kept willing herself to move so she couldn't sit and [i]think[/i] like she always did. [i]Ironic, isn't it? That you wish you were more Santana than Siena right now?[/i] No more thinking. She repeated the mantra to herself almost fervently, to drown out any other voice that tried to rise, and it [i]worked[/i]. Unfortunately, it also meant that it had almost drowned out Angel's voice. Muted, distant, and quiet, but enough to stop the mental chant in an instant.

The sudden silence in her head was terrifying.

"[color=ff57ff]H-Huh...?[/color]" A weary blink. What had Angel just said? The brunette tried to recall, tried to make out the words that had come to her as little more than a garbled question. No. There was no way she could make out what had been asked. "[color=ff57ff]Sorry, I must not have been paying attention. Could you repeat that?[/color]"

Angélique forced herself a reassuring smile, quite half-assed given she had her own demons to deal with too. Siena looked so bothered, perhaps it was not the time to disturb her. And yet…
 
[color=9e0039]“Oh sorry, I must’ve been muttering.”[/color] A lie to try and cover up for her initial blunder, but it was convenient that she didn’t hear. [color=9e0039]“I was saying that you looked bored as hell. How about we get ourselves some fresh air outside? And by that, I mean take one of the cars and go about for some scenery driving.  How does that sound?” [/color]
 
Angel had tried to look just about as enthusiastic and reassuring as she could manage her low morale to put on. Truth be told, she wanted to be left alone today, but seeing Siena like that, she sort of felt much obliged to try and at least help a friend who looked so demoralized.

No, it couldnt' have been a mutter, but Siena recognized the attempt of a smile. [i]Can you fix this?[/i] Did she even want to? The brunette gave a weak smile and wondered whether she could even pass off a mask when her eyes were still sore, when her entire body felt weary and she could barely keep her thoughts from consuming her entirely. It would be a good distraction, Siena told herself. Going out, leaving, far away from the estate and the memories it evoked and the relationships she was certain she had trampled. 

"[color=ff57ff]That...sounds good.[/color]" Even if it was just a moment's reprieve. "[color=ff57ff]I don't think I've gone on a scenic drive in longer than I can remember.[/color]" It wasn't a lie if she couldn't remember a scenic drive, was it? Her car rides were generally done in spacious vehicles with windows that barely allowed her to look out, only to places that had been carefully selected, on routes that were decidedly empty. 

[color=9e0039]"Cool! C’mon then, I was just about to leave. Unless you need a bit of time to prepare yourself?”[/color]

"[color=ff57ff]Oh! I-I'm ready to go anytime.[/color]"

Alright then. Let’s get going.
 
Angel led Siena to the garage, her stuff already packed and ready to leave. Angélique didn’t know herself how long they would be gone today, but her stuff had been packed on the backseat as if she was leaving for the entire day.
 
After entering the car and making sure both their seatbelts were buckled and the car was functional, the two girls left the estate towards the forest trail and onto the island’s main road. It already felt good, to be away from the mansion. There was just this uneasy atmosphere over there that only made the raven-haired Aberration to leave and return for as late as possible. 
 
When the road became clear ahead and it was only a straight line to wherever they were heading, Angel used the opportunity to slightly her window, feeling the ocean breeze washing in the car as she gazed upon the coastal scene slowly unfurl all around them. The silence felt a bit dreadful inside however. Both were clearly uncomfortable around each other. 
 
[color=9e0039]“So… have you ever driven a car before, Siena?”[/color] Angel asked out of the blue, her shades-veiled gaze focused on the road, but her mind half-focused on her passenger.

It might have been a wise idea to have brought some things, Siena realized, as she glanced at what Angel had prepared on her own. The thought was what she clung to for a distraction to push everything else aside. It filled her head, musing what might have been a better idea, what she wouldn't have brought to begin with. That, combined with the breeze brushing off the ocean, the smell of saltwater and a new view, was enough to push almost everything else into a quiet, dull buzz. 

And another distraction pulled her in. The Arbiter glanced at the driver, her mind reeling. 

"[color=ff57ff]Oh, um...actually, no,[/color]" Siena started. Best not to say anything that might lead to unwarranted expectations as far as that was concerned. The brunette gave a nervous smile, one tinged with a faint amount of embarrassment. "[color=ff57ff]I never really had to before.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"Really? Girl, you are missing out on something."[/color] Angel grinned, remembering what it felt like to have her parents driver her around. It felt frustratring, perhaps a bit shameful too. [color=9e0039]“The freedom to go as far as you want, whenever you want, without having to call on someone for it. That’s what I like most about driving and owning my own car.” [/color]
 
Angel paused as she smoothly brought about a slight turn to the right [color=9e0039]“Ever felt like driving on your own before though?” [/color]

Through the haze of her exhaustion and the slurry of thoughts, Siena was able to make sense of the words. It pierced through like sharp beams of light, cutting through like hot butter. Freedom to go as far as she wanted, whenever she wanted. [i]She doesn't know.[/i] It was a dream she had once had countless times before she'd had her abilities and even more times after. Flying away, teleporting away, [i]leaving[/i] the gilded cage. A sweet dream that she had only a brief taste of before it was cruelly crushed. Time and time again. 

But she couldn't show that, so she smiled. 

"[color=ff57ff]I wanted to, but I never had a chance. Apparently it was too dangerous or something.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"Too dangerous, huh? Well, there sure are idiots on the road every now and then, but an extra vigilant eye can allow you to avoid all that.”[/color] Angélique replied, speaking as if she had a few of those mishaps that happened to her personally. 
 
Sounded like her caretakers protected Siena a bit too much. The dark-haired driver couldn’t fathom having herself be caught into what was better for her own safety. It felt too restrictive, too imprisoned.
 
The car steadily slowed down but kept a minimum amount of speed to keep going on the road. Angel looked at Siena with a mischievous grin. Now that the brunette was somehow ‘free’, why not take advantage of that?
 
[color=9e0039]“Want to take the wheel? Might as well take this chance now that you have no one to hold you back.”[/color] Angélique asked with a chuckle.

Idiots on the road...well, she supposed that was one way of viewing the danger. Siena knew better than to think that it was the main reason that she'd never learned to drive. [i]They had looked at her with pitying expressions that lasted less than a fraction of a second, but she'd learned how to see those flashes by then.[/i] Still, Siena nodded in agreement as the car slowed, glancing over at Angel just in time to see the mischief on the older girl's face. 

"[color=ff57ff]U-Um, but I don't know the first thing about driving...[/color]" Even if every part of her wanted to do it. One moment behind the wheel, some kind of mock freedom that might be a substitute for the real thing. Her gaze drifted to the wheel, then to the open road, and she felt longing spring to life in her gut. "[color=ff57ff]I'm not sure that'd be the safest idea...[/color]"

While Angel could not read that spark hidden underneath the mask Siena usually wears, she could hear the words that just called to the driver as ‘It’s not safe, but I’m dying to try.’ Maybe it was something that the young woman just wanted to hear, but she’ll be damned if it didn’t happen.
 
[color=9e0039]“Good thing you’ll have the safest driver in Canada to show you the ropes then!”[/color] Angel managed to let out a quiet laugh at her exaggeration. 
 
The car slowed down significantly, pulling up to the side as it came to a full stop. [color=9e0039]“Now’s the best time to learn, Siena. I mean, we’ve got the whole road to ourselves. Trust me, I know. Haven’t seen a single soul on these roads ever since we arrived.”[/color] Angel turned off the engine and then opened her door. 
 
[color=9e0039]“Plus, what’s the worst that could happen? Drive over a pothole? C’mon, let’s switch places!”[/color] the enthusiastic black-haired musician remarked as she left the car, heading over Siena’s side.

"[color=ff57ff]O-Oh, um...[/color]" Well, there were [i]worse[/i] things that could happen, given Siena's complete lack of experience, but if Angel was right about the lack of people, then maybe, just for a bit, it would be fine. The thirst for knowledge ached like a hollow pain in her torso, and Siena couldn't help but relent. "[color=ff57ff]A-Alright...[/color]"

Stepping out to make the switch herself, the brunette glanced at the controls, wondered briefly whether it would have been wiser to have a name drawn in case she needed it. [i]Are you sure about that, little Harker?[/i] The girl decided against it. There was no point in learning if she didn't walk away with the experience in the end. That said... "[color=ff57ff]Um...s-so what do I do now...?[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"Oh right. First, take the ignition key and bring it all the way forward for a second until you hear the engine start. If you just bring it slightly forward, it'll only open up the electric supply for the car." [/color]

Then Angel proceded to explain the girl about the three pedals underneath her, one being the acceleration, the middle one being the brakes, the the far left being the clutch. After making sure the girl understood the principles of the pedals, she explained her how to make sure she was set and comfortable for driving. From bringing her seat forward so her feet could touch the pedals easily to the rearview mirrors properly showing the unseen angles. When the basics were over with, all that was left to do was to show her the actual driving part.

[color=9e0039]"Just put slight pressure on the gas pedal. We'll start slowly, then I'll show you about the gear shift."[/color]

The explanations had been clear, but hearing something, imagining something, and actually [i]doing[/i] it were vastly differing experiences, as Siena had learned. How slight was slight pressure? Her mind tried to quantify it, couldn't [i]quite[/i] do it, and the faint pressure she put on the pedal did little to start the car from moving. Realizing that she'd vastly underestimated [i]slight[/i], Siena tried to increase the pressure. 

The second time was too much. The car lurched forward with a sudden jerk. Siena recoiled her foot off the pedal entirely in surprise.

"[color=ff57ff]Wh-whoa, s-sorry![/color]" Wearing an embarrassed grimace, the girl wondered if this really [i]was[/i] the wisest choice. So something between force A and force B--gods, she hoped that judging that pressure would get easier.

[color=9e0039][i]Holy shit![/i][/color]

Luckily, Angel had her seatbelt one, or else she felt like she was going to get an accident real soon with the girl on board. the older woman let out a deep sigh out. "God... that took me by surprise. Yeah, no worry, beginner's mistake. It's hard to gauge pressure when you're new at this. You'll see later when you'll have to maintain a steady speed. It's easy to lose your footing and accidentally end speeding up gradually faster without even noticing."

[color=9e0039]"Try again. Smooth, but don't put your weight all at once. Do it gradually."[/color]
[hr]
It took some time and a few tries before Siena managed to get the hang of the steering, some extra time going into learning the few extra steps for the--what was it? The Hellcat?--current vehicle compared to more common ones. Eventually, going down the road was smoother, her speed not quite consistent, but at least the car didn't jerk as it had at the start. The brunette felt herself more at ease with the road empty and lacking in any major turns. 

She tried to piece together the start of a conversation, but her mind kept cycling back to the events of DC, then to the last attempt to talk about said events. Her back ached at the memory, a faint sense of relief at wearing more cover to hide the fact that she hadn't succeeded in clearing off every bruise from the tapestry of her skin. That would have been difficult to explain. 

"[color=ff57ff]Um...[/color]" [i]Think of something. Anything.[/i] "[color=ff57ff]Y-you know, I don't think I've ever seen you without sunglasses.[/color]"

Throughout Siena's drive, Angélique had kept a close watch on her learning pupil. It was getting smoother, much to the joy and relief of the Aberration. She had been giving her advices when she noticed a wrong move or a mistake, but it was done in the friendliest tips. She wasn't there to be a tyrant and a harsh teacher. Though it was clear that Angel was very concerned when it came to safety while driving.

A moment of silence passed by quickly as Angel was less focused on discussing and more on watching the road ahead. Usually she'd talk a lot while being a passenger, but she felt somewhat dutiful and on guard. When Siena's question came, it came a bit out ass a surprise to the black-haired woman. 

[color=9e0039]"Oh? Yeah, I really never told anyone about this, I guess. I have sight problems. A rare case of myopia and photophobia combined. Or short-sightedness and light sensitivity, if you will."[/color] Angel explained, looking a little bit dismayed. [color=9e0039]"Old optometrist gave me a special pair of shades that would correct both problems at once, since I hate contacts, but then you'd figure with everything happening to us, they broke down quite easily. So I consulted the eye doctor at the Institute, he convinced me to wear contacts so at least I won't see blurry if my sunglasses ever broke again. As for the shades, well they are mostly there to keep my eyes from burning in pain."[/color]

Trying to make light of her situation, Angélique flashed a grin at Siena as to dismiss it as a slight inconvenience [color=9e0039]"But those do make me look damn good, no?"[/color]

Ah...the possibility of light sensitivity had lingered somewhere in the back of Siena's mind, but it had never been more than a passing thought. Keeping her eyes on the road, the Arbiter gave a small nod of understanding at the explanation, accepting it as it was. 

"[color=ff57ff]They certainly match your aesthetic,[/color]" the Arbiter started. Not a lie. "[color=ff57ff]Though...it seems a little dangerous to have them in our situation. Maybe USARILN can get you something sturdier when we're out.[/color]"

Angel looked thoughtful for a moment. She did indeed consider the possibility of asking for something sturdier, seeing that there was no point to wearing shades if they kept breaking. [color=9e0039]"You're right. I was thinking that as well, seeing there probably wasn't a single battle I managed to get out from with them intact."[/color] A small pause of discomfort as she was brought back to Washington, if only briefly. [color=9e0039]"Perhaps I should ask if they can come up with transition contacts. Hell might as well give me a welding mask while we're at it."[/color] she forced a chuckle out. [color=9e0039]"If we ever return to the Institute... It's been a while, isn't it?"[/color]

A long pause as Siena considered the end of the sentence. 

"[color=ff57ff]...it has.[/color]" Two words that were just a bit weary despite how exceedingly worn Siena really felt. "[color=ff57ff]I really thought we'd be spending more time at the school when we showed up there...[/color]"

"Yeah, but then again..." Angélique paused, thinking back about her talk with Ernest, as much as it pained her to do so. "Apparently we are a special case of students. Shouldn't be much surprised by these developments."

Angélique contemplated the road ahead, her worries over Siena's driving slowly dissipating as her thoughts focused on a not-so distant past. "Do you miss it, Siena?"

A pause. 

"[color=ff57ff]A little bit, yeah.[/color]" Grateful for the fact that she had to focus on the road, Siena wondered [i]why[/i] they were such a special case. Why they were being sent out instead of students more experienced. Being sent out was not what she had envisioned when she had surrendered herself. She expected a place where she couldn't hurt anyone with her abilities, not somewhere that would send her to where she could hurt [i]more[/i] people. "[color=ff57ff]Even if it's not quite what I thought it woud be.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"I don't think anyone here could've expected what our lives are going to be like at USARILN. Even less being part of some sort of special battle unit."[/color]

"[color=ff57ff]No, I suppose not.[/color]" And she certainly hadn't expected being a special battle unit to be an option to begin with--maybe Gerwulf had been right. Preparations had probably been what kept her alive. [i]Just in case.[/i] Memories of a slow step by step guide on how to make her small frame more effective in a fight--it dawned on her then that said movements would only ever work on things that looked like humans. She pushed the thought out of mind. Pushed Gerwulf as far away from her as she could. "[color=ff57ff]Don't think I ever saw myself using powers for combat.[/color]"

[color=9e0039][i]Never thought I'd use my powers to kill a crowd again...[/i][/color]

Angel only nodded solemnly to Siena's statement. There sure was a lot of shit she hadn't been expecting to happen. So much near deaths, battles, fellow classmates dying, even more deaths. Really, ever since Angel was taken in by USARILN, she turned into such a wreck. She could barely recognize herself in the mirror, even herself as a whole when comparing to just a few months ago.

Her mind was sent adrift onto the road once more, keeping silent as she reflected on the events that happened as a 'student' of this Subnatural institute.

No reply, just a silence that Siena could only take wild stabs at reading when she couldn't turn to look at the expression. She didn't entirely enjoy not being able to observe, and Siena realized then why Maya had been adamantly against Siena's learning to drive. Watching the road meant not being able to watch the people aroud her--etiquette and appearances aside, it wasn't something that any Santana should have done. 

She didn't want to think about it. 

"[color=ff57ff]I think the only expectation I had was that I'd be seeing more subnaturals though.[/color]" More people too, but she didn't quite want to group the two categories together. "[color=ff57ff]Don't think I'll ever get used to it.[/color]"

"Yeah... but that's our reality now. Might as well try to get used the people we will be with for as long as we remain under USARILN's watch."

[i]'[color=ff57ff]You say that so lightly.[/color]'[/i] 

Unwelcome thoughts of her conversation with Marcus the night before, thoughts of being honest and bruises scattered across her like a painting. Getting used to the people that they'd be around while under careful watch wasn't something that Siena would have been able to do lightly. 

Still, she gave a distant smile and a small nod. 

"[color=ff57ff]I'll have to work on it.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"So do I... So do I..."[/color] Angélique muttered to herself aloud, looking at the scenery passing by them quickly.

There was a moment of unease seetling in. Uncomfortable silence. 

[color=9e0039]"Siena... I have something to tell you,"[/color] Angel's tone took on a graver note. [color=9e0039]"I'm... sorry for what happened a few days ago. I though of protecting everyone... but I made a stupid decision... and it ended up like this."[/color]

The words struck like a heavy bag of bricks, and if Siena hadn't been prepared for the possibility, if she hadn't tightened her grip slightly on the wheel, tensed herself at the thought, things might have gone badly. At least there was some semblance of control in place. The brunette made certain to keep her foot at the most constant pressure she could muster. Not Harker, Santana. 

"[color=ff57ff]Everyone made mistakes.[/color]" And Siena could feel her own piling down harder each day. "[color=ff57ff]I don't think I'm the one that needs an apology.[/color]" Because she didn't. Her mistakes had been countless. So many things that could have gone differently--they'd picked the wrong people to protect. 

[color=9e0039]"Perhaps... but then again, if I hadn't screamed first, if I had tried to find a more peaceful solution, maybe ask you guys to shift your priorities to personnal defense until it dies down... we probably wouldn't have had to defend ourselves from them like that.[/color]"

She was remorseful for everything that had sparked for one single scream. A scream that seemed to have carried more impact and destroyed everything than her repetitive message sent to save to civilians had.

[color=9e0039]"They probably would've never attacked us if I didn't start. That's... why I feel like I should apologize to everyone. Our lives are so difficult to deal with... I just piled up more problems on our shoulders. I'm... sorry for that."[/color]

Did she think apologizing and taking the blame would have fixed anything? Siena wondered, briefly, if that was how most people felt. Apologize a thousand times to the wrong person for the wrong reasons, and the forgiveness would be enough? 

[i]Screams. People had been under the cars when they fell.[/i]

Apologies for the wrong thing. 

"[color=ff57ff]Maybe it's not my place to say this,[/color]" Siena started, knowing that it wasn't. "[color=ff57ff]But will getting forgiveness from me really fix anything for you?[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"No. If you think I'm looking for forgiveness, you're wong. No mtter how much I regret it, that I feel sorry for the people who died and for their families, and for what you guys had to go through during that moment, it still has been and will be a horrible choice. I can't blame anyone for hating me after what I did. Hell, the whole world could hate me for that, if they actually knew instead of those fake-ass news proclaiming me as some sort of fucking "redeeming criminal" crap. I deserve to be hated. I don't deserve forgiveness or love."[/color]

[color=f696b7][i]Yet you still cling to it oh so deperately[/i][/color]

Angélique's sorrowful tone seemed to have turned into one of intensified self-hatred and disgust. It was very clear that she blamed herself solely for what happened, and obviously felt terrible for having involved everyone in her mess. 

[color=9e0039]"But I still feel the need to apologize to you, because I fucked everyone up over and I want you to know I didn't mean to. That won't bring anyone back, but I guess I just want people to know that I'm not a cold-hearted bitch who doesn't regret her decisions. I do, but I can't do anything but make sure it won't happen a second time.[/color]

It was strangely easier to talk about her feelings to Siena than everyone else so far. Perhaps it was because Siena was the actual first person she spoke of it that was on her team back then. Ernest, Brent, Allison... they couldn't know how it was. They haven't been there, and it's not like neither of them had to power to outright kill someone if they lost control or had a Stigma like hers to deal with. 

It seemed so...contradictory, and something in the pit of Siena's stomach flared to life. A weak, quiet flicker that didn't have enough strength to become a blaze. Didn't want to be a redeeming criminal, didn't care if the world hated her--if that was true, then why bother apologizing? Why apologize to peers that might look for any reason to forgive if she [i]deserved[/i] to be hated? The brunette felt her grip tighten on the wheel, and wondered if it was a good thing that there was nothing left in her to [i]burn[/i]. 

"[color=ff57ff]I suppose that's reason enough to find an apology.[/color]" Even if Siena couldn't take much heart in it. Her focus remained on the road, attention on the fact that she was driving to keep her distracted. "[color=ff57ff]But in that case, you're not the only one that needs to apologize.[/color]"

There was a sligh sense of relief washing over Angel when Siena seemed to have confirmed her will to apologize. She didn't need forgiveness, but she still wanted to be on good terms with anyone. But there was guilt rearing its ugly head for every bit of relief she had. Moreso when Siena said that. [color=9e0039]"I... don't... think..."[/color] she had no idea what to say. She knew she was in the wrong, but a lot of people on her team were just as responsible for [i]actually[/i] delivering the killing blows. Angel never wanted to admit it to herself though. They wouldn't have to do this if she didn't start the fight.

"[color=ff57ff]You don't think what?[/color]" The words were oddly calm. "[color=ff57ff]Maybe the scream started everything, but everyone made their choices. Whether someone opened fire or held it, that was their decision. By that reasoning, we all brought ruin on ourselves.[/color]" Her grip tightened around the wheel, knuckles starting to show white. "[color=ff57ff]Regardless of whether opening fire was intentional, we have ourselves to blame.[/color]"

Angélique looked a bit defeated by the statement. True, they probably could've used another mean to protect themselves, something less lethal. Lilianna could've probably tried harder to remain in control. But then again...

[color=9e0039]"Maybe... but you wouldn't have had to make that choice if it didn't happened."[/color] Angel repeated, remaining convinced that she was to blame foremost for the mishaps of her team. Their failure was her failure.

"[color=ff57ff]But it did, and it's too easy to blame it all on one person. We were supposed to help them, and we didn't.[/color]" Even if she didn't know what might have changed without the shout. Even if someone tried to shift the blame for the people that Siena herself had killed, she hadn't done anything to stop the situation from getting worse. Hadn't done anything, despite having [i]everything[/i] at her disposal, to stop her peers. Nobody had. "[color=ff57ff]It's too easy to blame someone else for our own bad decisions. If nobody blames themselves, then nobody will learn, and it [i]will[/i] happen again.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"You're right, but..."[/color] Angélique paused, finding great difficulty to admit the way she felt about the situation. [color=9e0039]"I've always thought that even if we were all to blame... it just would be easier if the hate was directed into me. You know, focus all that hate into a single person, instead of a whole group. I'd rather see myself being insulted, punched and kicked than have all of us being treated this way."[/color]

[color=9e0039]"They've heard what happened from the cuffs. They think I've been the one who killed almost everyone. I don't want you, Lily or Kusari to be treated the same way I had been ever since I came back..."[/color]

A pause. They hadn't been there that long. More than that, their company was little more than their peers. The brunette flicked a glance toward the older girl before returning her attention to the road. 

"[color=ff57ff]You say that as though it's literal.[/color]" Carefully chosen words. "[color=ff57ff]Something happened?[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"Nothing I'm not used to.[/color]

Not a complete lie, considering her whole life she had to deal with criticism about the way her music sounded or how she was dressed, but never insulted with such intensity. 

It didn't take an expert to hear something to piece together the partial answer. Nothing she wasn't used to--something vague, but still complete enough to neatly sweep away the refuse where it couldn't be seen. Of course Siena would have recognized it, given how often she did it herself when the truth wasn't welcome, but it was easier not to lie. Part of her wanted to press further, but there was no kindling left. Nothing for the embers to reignite. 

"[color=ff57ff]I see.[/color]" Two words that were easy to say. A neat little phrase that could say everything or nothing. Her mind wandered back a night, how she had told Marcus that he stood for more than what he was. How it was true for all of them if she thought about it. How frustrating it was that Angel didn't seem to understand it despite her apparent past on the stage, and how little Siena understood [i]why[/i]. She had no choice but to silence them all, put everything into another neat litle phrase. "[color=ff57ff]I suppose that makes sense.[/color]"

Angélique nodded only slightly, her gaze still not leaving the road ahead. Her driving friend's short answers seemed a bit hollow, but Angel didn't want to prod it further. She's had enough of poking beasts these past few days. She wasn't willing to continue this painful conversation by adding more than what had already been said. Whether Siena fully understood what Angel was trying to say, she could only hope the brunette Arbiter did. And so she remained uncomfortably silent, her thoughts trying to focus into Siena's driving rather than her inner turmoil.
[hr]
The rest of the car drive went rather well. To dispel the growing unease that had started to settle in with their talk, the two managed to find every bits of small talk to discuss about. Sometimes Angel would give some more tips or continue counselling her driving student, sometimes Siena would ask for confirmation on her thoughts about driving and some more questions to better her driving techniques. After a hour or two, Angélique decided to have Siena drive the both of them back to the estate, figuring that they should be back for lunch time and siena should take a rest, visibly tired now.

Back into the garage, when both left the car, Angel remained next to the vehicle, waving to yet another newly-made pupil. Funny how she was teaching a lot of her fellow classmates about some things. [color=9e0039]"You did good today, Siena. You've got a knack for driving. Maybe I should ask you more often to drive me around."[/color] the raven-haired metalhead chuckled as she opened the door to the driver's seat.

[color=9e0039]"Take good care of yourself now."[/color] Angel said to the brunette before driving off the garage, this time going for a ride alone.[/hider]
[hider=Worthwhile][center]
[h1]Worthwhile[/h1]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/qdJ8I7l.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/EqVwCQa.png[/img]

[h2][color red]Chris[/color] | [color ff57ff]Siena Santana[/color][/h2]
[img]http:// i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img] 
[hr][color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟚𝟛 // 𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 // 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 // ~𝟙𝟜𝟘𝟘[/color][hr]
[sub]Collab with...[@DragonMancer][/sub][/center]

Chris had started to walk down the hallway of the estate with a hint of nervousness. He was dressed in his prefered casual wear of his heavy blue coat, white shirt, and dark blue jeans. Though the warm clothing didn't seem ideal for the present climate, Chris preffered the additional heat his clothes gave him. Today was the day he'd talk to Siena again, in person. Thanks to Brent and Ernie's little 'chat' he no longer feared that Siena was ignoring his letter as it was revealed Brent had done away with it, the bastard. 

Still, that resolve didn't hide his faint dread. It was already painfully obvious he has terrible people skills, let alone good at keeping friends around; But after the events of D.C. he was worried the stress might make his coming situation worse. Though, he still worried of her well-being, and because he never got to visit her in the hospital bed he felt obligated to visit her now.

There was a pause when he reached Siena door. He had picked out some crummy flower from the yard earlier today to present to her, though the dandelion he held in his hand is more considered a weed then a flowering plant. After a sigh that established his final decision, he gave three knocks to her door.

She hadn't slept, grey irises seeming almost dull in the wake of pink-tinged sclera. Siena watched her phone with said bloodshot eyes, as if expecting it to go off again--no, she [i]knew[/i] it would eventually. Something that felt dimly like pain in the back of her head alerted Siena to the fact that she had probably been up for too long. A twinge of faint irritation at herself for pointing out the obvious that was harder to quell than it should have been. The mage gave a soft breath, closing her eyes against the light. 

[i]'[color=ff57ff]Temper, temper, Siena.[/color]'[/i] 

Shut up. 

[i]'[color=ff57ff]You already knew, why are you even surprised that--[/color]'[/i]

[b]Shut. Up.[/b]

The girl felt her fingers dig into her skin, nails scraping against the surface hard enough to make parts of it peel, pale flesh flaring pink at the irritation, and though the rational part of her chided her. [i]Stop before you hurt yourself.[/i] But wasn't it the pain that grounded her? That reminded her that she was still [i]her[/i] and not some visitor in her body? Her nails dug deeper, leaving crescent shaped depressions. She wasn't surprised, but that didn't mean it didn't leave a deep cut. [i]Rat bastard.[/i] [i]'[color=ff57ff]You don't mean that.[/color]'[/i] No, she didn't, but there wasn't a fiber in her body that didn't wish that she [i]did[/i]. 

The thoughts were loud enough that she almost didn't hear the sound of the knock at her door. For a long moment, the brunette considered ignoring it to let herself stew in the frustrations she wouldn't be able to express with anyone else around. Her mind went back to the night before, and a sardonic smile wormed its way to her lips. Well, she'd certainly managed to express them [i]then[/i] hadn't she?

By the time the mage answered her door, she'd already placed the demure, quiet mask of a girl in over her head back into place. Nobody would believe it anymore, but it was easier than trying to go out with the storm that threatened to break free completely unleashed. She cracked the door open to see her visitor, prepared to shut it again if necessary, but found Chris at the entrance, sporting a heavy coat despite the weather and something that was [i]probably[/i] a flower in hand--it was harder to tell when all she could see from her vantage point was a trail of green. 

[i]'[color=ff57ff]Don't you want to shut the door?[/color]'[/i] Mocked the snide little voice in her head. Siena pushed the thought as far as she could before cautiously opening the door, only a faint level of confusion showing on her face. Exactly what she allowed. "[color=ff57ff]O-Oh, Chris. Did you need something...?[/color]"

[color=red]"O-oh um..." [/color]He paused for a moment. Whatever confidence he had worn today was starting to wear now he was infront of Siena for the first time in a little while.[color=red] "A-are you busy or something? I-I could come back some other time if its too much trouble for you right now." [/color]He started to avoid eye contact to try to mask his dissolving confidence; His head had turned to the hallway and he adjusted the hood of his coat further up his head as if that could hide him from her.

[i]'[color=ff57ff]Even someone that can turn into a dragon won't look you in the eye.[/color]'[/i]

[i]Stop it.[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]N-No, I'm not really busy with anything.[/color]" True. Sort of. "[color=ff57ff]I probably don't look too great right now though.[/color]"

There was a sigh to her responsive, mostly of relief. At this point his anxiety was starting to die down a bit in favor of a more apathetic 'just get this over with' motivation, still lacking much optimism. [color=red]"I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk with me today, around the property or something....Maybe do something cool if we come across anything."[/color] He returned his gaze back to her.

Something about it was off, and Siena wished for a moment that she couldn't read faces. Couldn't force herself to dig and feel the way that she wanted after countless hours of being taught exactly how to do it because she could barely deal with her own emotional turmoil, and it was too damn hard to ignore someone else's when it was a perfect distraction from what she didn't want to face. The brunette gave a weak smile. Something was wrong.

An uncomfortable memory tried to surface, and Siena drowned it with any other emotion that was able to overpower the unease. 

"[color=ff57ff]That...that sounds nice.[/color]" Not really. "[color=ff57ff]Um...let me get my jacket before we go. Just in case.[/color]"

[i]Your room is a mess. Don't let him in.[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]I'll be right back.[/color]" 

He nodded and stepped away from the door and to the wall to avoid being rude. While he had been leaning against the wall, and looking down the hallway, he felt reliefed. Here he was expecting outright rejection but everything seemed fine for now at least, though admittedly she did seem a tad bit distraught.

Once she accompanied him past the hallway and later outside the manor, Chris broke the silence. [color=red]"So, how are you holding up? I don't know all the details that happened to everyone but I know we've all been through some shit in that D.C. event..."[/color] He interrupted himself. [color=red]"I-I don't mean that be rude, you don't have to tell me-I'm just...concerned is all..I feel bad for not visiting you when you were hospitalized..."[/color]

Fresh air was good for her, or so Siena kept telling herself as she walked with Chris. Her mind was still reeling, still full of unwelcome thoughts, memories, emotions she didn't [i]want to feel[/i]. A surge of something that might have been relief rose as soon as Chris broke the silence, only to be replaced by an avalanche of conflicting emotions. Guilt, pain, betrayal, back to guilt again. A simmering rage that burned faintly beneath the surface that Siena kept trying to detach and [i]couldn't[/i]. She didn't voice anything, didn't let her emotions get in the way as she painted on the weary mask. 

"[color=ff57ff]You don't have to worry about me.[/color]" Because she didn't count. "[color=ff57ff]I wasn't really that hurt at the hospital.[/color]" Just a coward that couldn't leave. An echo of panic fired through her like a sharp jolt of electricity. "[color=ff57ff]I can't say that everything is fine, but...I'll figure out how to cope.[/color]" [i]Or else.[/i]

There was a short pause before Chris put a hand on her shoulder. [color=red]"I don't like being brash or anything but considering what happened..I..well..Just want to let you know that no matter what happens out there I will always stay at your side" [/color]There was another self-interruption. [color=red]"Unless if you don't want me too..I don't want to force anything on you."[/color]

[i]Don't touch.[/i] 

Siena forced herself not to flinch at the hand on her shoulder, forced herself to stay calm when fear threatened to bubble up, refining her reaction to little more than a faint tense that passed through her before she could fully register it. The brunette paused to glance at the boy, and again the unsettling sensation crept over her like a slow burning fire. Back to the training day, when there was something that lingered beyond the primitive instinct. That faint, faint feeling that had mortified her. Always at her side. 

[i]Bullshit.[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]That's a bold offer for someone you've only known a few weeks.[/color]"

[color=red]"I'm aware."[/color] He paused to look at the ground, and had removed his hand from her.[color=red] "I guess all this stress makes it hard to think straight...That and.." [/color]There was a longer pause. He didn't finish his sentence, he just looked towards the trees at his left, a long stare. In that moment Chris thought he saw the wooden fort he and his hometown friends would play around, the day before that joy was taken from him; he even imagined his younger self sitting infront of the fort, starting back at him with cold and distant eyes as if the child was staring at a monster.

He shook his head and attempted to finish his train of thought. "No its nothing.."

So that was it. Stress. A pang of something in between relief and hurt shot through Siena's chest, but it smoothed into the mask before it could properly form into anything on the exterior. This was what she was good at, pretending she didn't see the things that she did. Pretending, for all it was worth, to be that stupid, blind girl. [i]'[color=f7976a]You're more useful this way.[/color]'[/i] Instead, the brunette gave a distant smile. One that she put on too often since arriving at USARILN when she looked into the mirror before the sun rose trying to convince herself that she was fine. 

"[color=ff57ff]I don't think you can bring up stress and then brush off the rest of the thought as nothing and still be convincing, Chris.[/color]" 

There was a shudder. Her words broke through his cloak like a piercing wind of frost. Perhaps that may have been neccessay, he couldn't hide that feeling from her forever, but at the same time he wasn't comfortable just telling her that. There was a pause as he tried to make up his mind. If he was to keep himself from being alone again he had to open up more, just enough to perhaps show some level of trust at least. Another sigh escaped his lips. [color=red]"Before I came to Usariln I've been..well...We all have had some terrible shit in our pasts, I'm nothing special but..my experience has made me rather...cold, unwilling to want to associate myself with others; Thats how I felt when I first came here too..until..Until I met you at the library...I don't know why or how, something about you just clicked I guess..." [/color]Another sigh. [color=red]"I don't want to burden you or expect you to feel the same way or anything, infact I think I've been dreading to tell you this out of fear of rejection, but there isn't any point of letting this drag on..I..I have feelings for you is all."[/color] There was a huge sense of relief as the words came out, one of the many things he had been bottling up now rested easy and out of him. It wasn't a secret he had to guard on his conscience anymore.

Siena knew it was coming, had done her best to brace herself, but it didn't stop the revelation from hitting her like a sack of bricks. Her mind clicked, whirred, tried to figure out what the best course of action was, and failed to come to any conclusion. All those years alone with people that were supposed to prepare her for anything, and she didn't have a proper response to [i]this[/i]. Or so she wanted to tell herself. Siena faltered, cracks forming in the mask. Apprehension, concern, a twinge of fear. Another distant twinge of...she didn't know what it was. 

"[color=ff57ff]I...I'm flattered that you think you have feelings for me.[/color]" What was she saying? No, no, no, stop. Stop. [i]Stop[/i]. But the dam had broken, and trying to stymie the flow did nothing in the wake of things. "[color=ff57ff]And I understand how you would come to that conclusion. Better than you might imagine.[/color]" And here, the mask crumbled a little more. A quiet, distant hurt that pierced through for a moment as her voice lowered. Still gentle, still cautious. "[color=ff57ff]But I think what you have is an infatuation. Maybe I was the first person that was agreeable, or maybe there are some other reasons, but...[/color]" But it wasn't anything as tumultuous as [i]feelings[/i], was it? She knew what that felt like, [i]knew[/i] how much it tore one inside out. Left a gaping hole to try and cauterize with anything available. "[color=ff57ff]But speaking from experience, I honestly...I hope you don't have anything as sincere as feelings toward me.[/color]"

It was difficult for Chris to register her response, or rather, he had no experience with it anyway. He simply remained silent, with his hands in his pockets as he walked forward. When she was finished it took him some time to speak up again. "..Maybe it was stupid of me to tell you." He muttered to himself as he looked to the dirt. To her credit, her admittance to expercing a similar emotion was at least trusting, in a way. Even if things didn't go the way he wanted, he at least got that confession out of his chest. [color=red]"I don't think its mere infatuation...Well, either way..I got that off my chest....." [/color]There was another pause. [color=red]"I just..wanted to let you know that before anything worse happens."[/color]

[i]'[color=ff57ff]You're hurting him.[/color]'[/i] She had to. [i]'[color=ff57ff]There are better ways to go about this.[/color]'[/i] No, there weren't. There [i]weren't[/i]. She had to believe that. [i]'[color=ff57ff]When are you going to stop lying to yourself?[/color]'[/i] She had to be strong. She was a monster in the plainest sense of the word--no, worse. She was the type that still tried to pass for human, wasn't she? The girl let the boy finish, had to stomp out her guilt. There were so very few that might be willing to stand by her after everything that had happened, but this was the kinder option. Right? 

Why didn't she feel as certain as she did when she started?

"[color=ff57ff]It's better that you don't feel anything more.[/color]" She was quiet, far quieter than she meant to be. Her voice wasn't as steady as she wanted, a quiet, careful tune that betrayed more than if she'd just kept up the act. Siena averted her gaze, kept them on the ground. "[color=ff57ff]Anything more than an infatuation is...painful.[/color]" No. "[color=ff57ff]More than painful. It's agonizing, wanting to [i]be[/i] with someone even when you can't, or when they don't feel anything back, or when you can't even figure out [i]who[/i] you're supposed to--[/color]" [i]Stop.[/i] Siena did that time. That was a step too close. She quieted herself again, couldn't stop the pain and guilt from seeping into her voice. "[color=ff57ff]...I don't want to be the reason that anyone feels like that.[/color]"

[color=red]"I've dealt with anguish all my life, so that is nothing new for me. It was hard enough to keep that information from you...I'm not one to be cheesey or poetic but I think you're worth that kind of trouble..."[/color]He paused. [color=red] "Don't worry about me or how I feel, you should live for what you feel, I guess...If you don't know how you feel about something time will give you the answer. Just, don't take my confession as some kind of burden, I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me; you especially." [/color]He looked forward with eyes straight. There was some pain to be felt, sure, but he still felt 'numb' from that relief of this affection still.

[i]How can he be so sure of himself?[/i]

Didn't she already know the answer to that? Siena felt something else try to crack, but she didn't let it. He thought she was worth the trouble. Who the hell was the feeling of a chest being torn open, the heart left bare for the vultured to pick at until there was nothing left? Siena couldn't help but remember the first time she'd pulled someone whose heart had been run through and left to die. How much it hurt, how much she wanted someone, [i]anyone[/i] to pin the emotion to. Pain, devotion, something that the Arbiter could only define as love, and all of it not worth the few moments of power that she'd gained from it. 

"[color=ff57ff]You're a better person than me,[/color]" Siena murmured softly. Chris [i]was[/i] more...direct, she supposed. That wasn't a bad thing. Softer than she first thought, maybe, but...she didn't see any tells. Nothing to say that he was lying about anything. Muting something, maybe, but lies? No, she didn't see any. That was a rarity in and of itself where the girl came from. A cautious, weak smile. Apologetic and weary. Because she didn't think she could believe him--no, because she [i]knew[/i] she didn't. People didn't act like that, much less subnaturals. Because he might have been telling the truth at that moment, but when a twinge of remorse turned to pain, when pain turned to torment, it wouldn't be the same emotion in the end. 

She knew that much. 

"[color=ff57ff]I'm glad you told me. It's...nice to think that someone cares.[/color]"

Even if it was all a distant lie.

He shook is head. [color=red]"I'm not better then you."[/color] He muttered back. There was another pause. [color=red]"We should talk about something else, I don't want to press this subject any further as I doubt either of us are comfortable...Besides I don't want that to spoil our friendship anyway."[/color] He said before coming to a stop.[color=red] "Any ideas on passing the time?"[/color]

A pause as Siena considered the thought. Right. It was easier to numb everything than it was to confront it, wasn't it? So she played along, just like she was supposed to. The girl twisted a few locks of hair between her fingers, eyes darting out over the estate. "[color=ff57ff]I haven't really done much exploring since we got here, so um...I guess I don't really have any.[/color]" Didn't that sound familiar? Despite it all, the bookish mage gave a faint laugh. "[color=ff57ff]A little bit like the time back at school, really.[/color]"

Chris returned a light smile before he had started to think. He stepped away and infront of her, and turned a 180 so that he was facing her directly. [color=red]"Well there is a beach we could walk over to, admire the view I guess. " [/color]He shrugged. Today may have not been the best to have this interaction, but he was glad he had gotten it over with anyway. 

"[color=ff57ff]Oh, that's right. We probably won't have a chance to walk a beach back at school.[/color]" It wasn't really a school so much as a base, she supposed. Siena did her best to push the thought away, to fill the space with something, even if it was meaningless. "[color=ff57ff]It'll be a new experience. I've never been to one before.[/color]" 

[color=red]"Neither have I, I believe its this way."[/color] He walked onward towards the beach.

Once arriving, Chris walked across the hot sand and decided to dip in his toe into the salty water. It was cold, so cold that it caused him to shake in a visable shiver and step away from the cruel water and back onto the warm hot sand. He was always a bit sensitive when it came to cold weather but his status as a subnatural never helped that little detail either. The chill reminded him of when he was frozen and almost died from that giant ice creature in the sky; a grim reminder that he didn't want to acknowledge.

Under other circumstances, or maybe even a week before, the beach might have been nice. The feeling of sand wedging itself between her foot and her shoe wasn't entirely unpleasant, nor was the faint breeze with the soft aroma of the sea, but all the pleasantries felt hollow. Watching Chris as he moved to the water, Siena stayed back, her gaze drifting from her companion to the distance beyond. A sea. Something she recognized, but not from the usual experiences. Part of her wondered how it would feel to be lost in it the same way as in the visions. Would she be at peace? Or would it be a storm?

She smiled instead. 

"[color=ff57ff]Not a big fan of the water?[/color]"

[color=red]"Not when its freezing." [/color]He replied, though appreciated her humor. Her very voice broke that sense of dread he had felt. [color=red]"Still...Nice view, the water looks like its sparkling with all the waves rising in the sunlight."[/color] He commented as he sat near her on the sand, knees up with his arms crossed over them. [color=red]"I wonder how well my dragon form can swim?"[/color] He pondered to himself out loud.

"[color=ff57ff]I don't know if you want to try that in freezing water.[/color]" Though the curiosity had piqued as well. She tried not to think about the previous conversation, didn't want to be reminded of the pain. Easier to numb herself. "[color=ff57ff]Though you could probably use your wings as sails if you tried.[/color]" Didn't want to acknowledge that she was probably hurting more than helping. [i]He didn't know.[/i] 

[color=red]"Hmm, maybe." [/color]He pondered for a moment, then a slight chuckle.[color=red] "Sorry this must be a bit weird with the romantic view and everything."[/color] He closed his eyes as he continued to face the ocean. [color=red]"...I mean..well..I don't want to be a bother to you is all."[/color]

If Chris had been looking in Siena's direction, he might have noticed the instant that the mask faded. When her expression contorted briefly. First in guilt, then in something that might have been pain. A vague shadow of an emotion she felt too many times before. [i]Something lost. A new experience that you wanted to rip out of yourself.[/i] But she molded it back into that semless facade, filled in the cracks. "[color=ff57ff]It's...it's not a bother.[/color]" Liar...but she wasn't good at saying things that gave away weaknesses, was she? Didn't like exposing any of her emotions when she could avoid it. 

[i]And panic isn't a display of that?[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]I don't think I can really identify a romantic view from a normal one, so I should be the one apologizing.[/color]"

[color=red]"Apologizing?" [/color]He shook his head.[color=red] "No don't apologize for something you didn't do."[/color]

"[color=ff57ff]Sorr--oops! It must be a bad habit.[/color]" That was too hard a thing to do. There were countless things that she had to apologize for not doing. [i]He doesn't know.[/i] Siena gave a weary smile of reassurance in return to the statement, a perfect simulation of what she'd seen and done before, even if she felt hollow while doing it. So many things to apologize for. 

For not being able to stop the slaughter. For not holding up the cars. For not being able to save more people in the building. For not telling him why she couldn't do it or how everything [i]felt[/i] when it came to her. For refusing to acknowledge either of them as humans. 

But she kept the reassuring expression up, and despite the companionship, she felt her walls go up. All the better to isolate her so she couldn't [i]hurt[/i] anyone like the monster she was. 

There was a short pause. Perhaps it was just him overlooking her habit, but for a small moment he felt like he could feel something that he was far too familiar with. The very darkness that he had been consumed by for all those damned years. It wasn't foolish to think everyone had their own version of it, especially with the nature of their existence, but this was the first he actually acknowledged the thought in full awareness that someone else was feeling that dread. The events in DC was a reminder of how shit the world was right now, the casualties of that fight over innocent lives reminded him of the loss of his hometown. Sure enough, he couldn't have been the only one to suffer from that. 

Chris's expression had slowly shifted from his casual demeanor to something of serious and grim. [color=red]"...Don't let your burdens weigh you down while you have time to enjoy yourself. Don't listen to whatever the people on the outside think of subnaturals...." [/color]There was a pause as he wasn't sure if he should continue. [color=red]"Most of us probably will live short lives if this keeps up...I'm one to talk as I still feel..."[/color] He suddenly felt like he had been carried away with his statement, perhaps he said too much. There was a moment of pause for him to regain his composure and change the direction of his words. [color=red]"Just don't beat yourself up too much, okay?"[/color]

Had she let it show? Siena was surprised to see Chris wear an expression so grim. It felt out of place with what she knew, and another red flag rose in the back of her head. Was she wrong again? More memories that were lying to her, trying to craft some fascimile of the lives that she borrowed? No...no, he hadn't been different earlier, hadn't behaved in ways that were entirely unexpected beyond a startling show of unshakable loyalty. Was that the word she'd use?

But it was the words that struck home. Of course, Siena understood that everyone had their own burdens--[i]her problems, not theirs[/i]--but she had already come to terms with the fact that she wouldn't be sharing hers with anyone else. Not everything, at least. [i]Not the girl whose hair was the color of fresh hay, whose magic felt like warmth and light. Not the faceless blurs she didn't quite remember the names of.[/i] She wondered, briefly, if that unshakable loyalty that had startled her [i]could[/i] be broken. If she wanted to do it. If she [i]should[/i]. 

"[color=ff57ff]I...I appreciate the sentiment.[/color]" A spark of hesitation. No. She was willing to do this. The smile fractured, held a broken sentiment, held a wounded child that meant nothing to the world. "[color=ff57ff]But I can't help but think that those people are right about most of us.[/color]"

[color=red]"And so what if they are right? Thats the reality we live in, we have to carve ourselves a place in this world amidst all this chaos, be it heroes or villains."[/color] There was another pause, his eyes were closed as he didn't like to face his own apathy like this. [color=red]"Were all that we have left. I really meant it when I said I'd stay by your side regardless of what happens, not just because of my affection, but because you, me, and the rest of the subnaturals that haven't gone rogue are by ourselves against the world."[/color] There was another pause, unsure if he should continue. [color=red]"Though I will admit that loyalty comes from the waning respect I have for the rest of the students here, I don't want to admit that but..."[/color] He shook his head. [color=red]"Not disrespect but..lack of trust, I suppose. I don't think they acknowledge whats been going on with our situation...then again maybe they choose not to, and I don't fault them for that."[/color] Chris turned his head to the side of the sand, further away from Siena. [color=red]"Sorry, this conversation has gotten me moody is all..sorry if that was a little dark."[/color]

[i]He doesn't understand.[/i]

[i]'[color=ff57ff]How can he when you don't bother to share?[/color]'[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]It's fine.[/color]" Because moodiness was nothing new. Because Siena understood that for all the rough edges that he displayed, the words were apathetic. That there was any loyalty to have, regardless of trust, regardless of respect...but it was best to keep that silent. He didn't understand yet. He didn't [i]have[/i] to yet.

[i]Would he still be this loyal if he knew what she'd done?[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]The topic wasn't exactly the brightest.[/color]" An excuse. A justification. [i]Why trust her? It was a bad idea.[/i] She quieted the words, replaced that truth with something else. A lie? A partial truth? An observation? She couldn't quite identify it before she spoke again. "[color=ff57ff]But considering that view, you must be braver than you give yourself credit for. You say you don't trust the others, but you're still willing to fight for them. Or with them. However you want to view that.[/color]" Quickly, she adopted a weak smile. Another perfect imitation of something she'd seen before. "[color=ff57ff]So maybe it's not such a dark topic.[/color]"

Bravery? He was brave? Chris shook his head at the thought with a light chuckle laced with grim humor. Thats not what the others thought of him.[color=red] "Brave? No, I'm not brave. Damn it all if I am, anyone asked so far I know here will tell you the opposite. I fight for us because there is nothing else to fight for, and for some goddamned reason despite how foolish and embarrassing I've been in and out of combat I still haven't died yet. Some twisted luck I have, Sometimes I wonder why I can't just drop dead already.."[/color] His once attempt at humor fading into a melancholy muttering. He wondered for a moment if he should distance himself from her too, she could just end up like all the others, maybe she would be better off if she avoided him instead. 

It would have been selfish of him to keep her even as a friend when thus far everyone that has been close to him perishes. With everything thats been happening in his life, he was starting to truly believe he was cursed, and that very conversation reminded him of why he was so scared when he first came to Usariln. Not of his own death, but the death that followed him.

Why he couldn't drop dead. Such a sad sentiment, even by Siena's standards. A soft breath, and she traced her gaze over Chris, over to the sea. It was comforting, almost, to be near someone that was upfront about their emotions. She didn't have to dig, didn't have to watch for the faintest flickers of change, didn't have to pluck at strings that he probably wasn't aware he had. It was...different. She didn't know if she liked that or hated it. Too hard to figure out that issue, she acknowledged, so Siena set to her usual diversions. 

Not her problems, theirs. Mentally, she took a step back, couldn't get herself too [i]involved[/i] if she wanted to make sense of things.

"[color=ff57ff]We...can't control what happens in combat.[/color]" Liar. "[color=ff57ff]Maybe you've made some mistakes, but...it's unfair to ask you to manage everything perfectly.[/color]" Because it wasn't his job to be. He was a dragon, and if that link was anything to go by, he wasn't [i]always[/i] going to be the one in control if that feral instinct reared its head. "[color=ff57ff]And despite any misfortunes you may have had, you come back, and you go fight again. It takes some sort of courage to do that.[/color]"

A pause. Another lie...? No, a partial truth. 

"[color=ff57ff]...besides, what would I do if you dropped dead?[/color]" A distant smile that spoke of a sorrowful thought. Harder to imitate, harder to project. "[color=ff57ff]I'd hate to lose another friend.[/color]"

There was some reassurance in her words, but what struck him most was her last reason. That gave him a faint smile, not when hidden by his apathy or edges, there was some genuine happiness in that thought. He didn't feel so alone, and he felt a bit foolish for not thinking of how she felt if he went, but that joy didn't last long enough to cure his plight. His distant tone soon returned.

[color=red]"You're not wrong, and I don't want to give you any burdens should I go...I guess its me being selfish..but everyone around me just..."[/color] He stopped himself. He had been so open to her thus far, like a damn slowly opening up to let the water out, but in that single sentence that same dam suddenly closed; as if it was barricading against a flood. He fell silent, turned his head away from her, the very thought of that just caused him to feel that same emptiness..that loneliness, that he was so used to feeling now. It almost felt bitter, being pulled from that brief moment of comfort back into the abyss he crawled from; A reaction that caused a single tear to sting his cheek.

Was she wrong? 

"[color=ff57ff]I--[/color]" Siena stopped herself. Wasn't this easier? A cold, hollow feeling shot through her chest. Right, wasn't this what she had originally wanted? The brunette paused, felt a moment of hesitation. Should she stop him? Let him go? There hadn't been enough time to pull enough of herself away to make the logical choice. Not enough time to feel less human yet. "[color=ff57ff]...if that's really how you feel, I won't stop you.[/color]" But that wasn't [i]fixing[/i] anything, and what good was that? She bit her lip. This wasn't what she wanted, but...since when did what [i]she[/i] wanted matter in the end?

She made her voice waver, loud enough to carry, but not enough to be strong. Like it had hurt, even when she wasn't entirely sure if it had.

"[color=ff57ff]I guess staying by my side was just a convenient turn of phrase.[/color]"

There was a pause. [color=red]"I still mean what I said, being by your side that is, that won't change so long as the both of us draw breath at least.[/color]" He stood upright and paused, looking towards the ocean with a sense of longing. [color=red]"I'm..i'm being a bit too dramatic, I apologize. I don't plan on killing myself or anything." [/color] He turned back to her with an attempt of a smile to hide his sorrow. [color=red]Next time we hang out we should talk about something more casual..I..." [/color]He turned his head away. 

[color=red]"I'm not ready to talk about what happened..."[/color] He muttered to himself before he started to walk off. [color=red]"Do me a favor though, and take care of yourself. I don't want to lose you too."[/color] Though he meant every word, he wasn't strong enough to keep [i]that[/i] conversation going. He was close to talking about old wounds, wounds that weren't ready to be looked at. He trusted her, but he wasn't ready to share that with anyone, not even himself.

[i]Take care of yourself.[/i] Easier said than done when she never did it before. 

But that wouldn't fix anything, so she gave a soft sigh. 

"[color=ff57ff]Alright.[/color]" Careful treading. An affirmative to all statements, any statement he wanted the affirmation for, even if it wasn't true. "[color=ff57ff]The request goes both ways though.[/color]" A pause. [i]Make it easier.[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]I think I'm going to head back first.[/color]" Painting a masking smile, weak and careful, Siena brought a hand up to rub her shoulder, as though chilled by the breeze of the ocean through the thin bolero over her shoulders. "[color=ff57ff]I'll catch a cold if I'm out here much longer.[/color]"

Without any more words to share, Chris took of his favorite blue jacket and offered it to her. Though a bit chilly himself, he also offered to walk her back home with his hand.[/hider]
[hider=The Bitch and the Bookworm][center]
[h1]The Bitch and the Bookworm[/h1]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/ytozL8X.png[/img][img]http://i.imgur.com/EqVwCQa.png[/img]

[h2][color=palevioletred]Zoe[/color] | [color=ff57ff]Siena[/color][/h2]
[img]http:// i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img] 
[color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟚𝟠 // 𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 // 𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕋𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 ℚ𝕦𝕚𝕖𝕥 𝕍𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕘𝕖 // ~𝟙𝟙𝟘𝟘[/color]
[sub]Collab with...[@Lasrever][/sub][/center]

Zoe felt like she could be doing better with all this. She'd been trying more, that was for certain, but... well, Angel had been right to say her methods weren't healthy, that was for sure. Something about slicing yourself open for training's sake didn't strike her as a tactic that'd count as a great coping mechanism. But it was pain, wasn't it? Everything cycled back to that. She'd been specifically avoiding Lily, knowing fine well the girl would try to heal her. And after what she'd done to the arbiter on Monday, Zoe hadn't wanted to go anywhere near Kusari either.

Still, she couldn't really get better at dealing with the others if she avoided them all day.

That being said, she didn't have much reason to seek people out for the most part. Outside of perhaps one or two classmates, Zoe wasn't even sure who'd count her as a friend. So actually planning to bother anyone was a no-go. Coming across them in her own time, however, was a different story entirely. So upon seeing Siena walking around the mansion, Zoe figured she wasn't doing much today anyway. Breaking into a jog, she tapped the younger girl on the shoulder in an attempt to get her attention. [color=palevioletred]"Hey, Siena. You busy?"[/color]

It was...better than the last week, Siena acknowledged. At least, she was [i]sleeping[/i] a little better--if you could call what her nightly schedules were real sleep. After her usual morning endeavors, Siena had taken to walking the grounds. Still not eager to make contact with her peers, still avoiding the help whenever possible, but at least she was [i]out[/i]. With her phone nestled safely in her pocket, the day was nice. Nicer still if she kept pushing away memories of recent events. Almost perfect if she didn't let herself stop and [i]think[/i] for long enough to remember that she'd effectively trampled over most of the friendships she'd started to form. 

It was for their own good, wasn't i--[i]WHAT[/i]?

A sudden tap on her shoulder was more than enough to make Siena jolt, almost jumping at the voice, her muscles tensing as though wanting to immediately figure out a flight or fight response. [i][color=ff57ff]Oh no, noooooooo punching.[/color][/i] Two times to Marcus's face was [i]plenty[/i], Siena chided herself--or maybe her panic wasn't intense enough to lose that hint of rational thought. Thankfully, trying to work through that particular line of thought was more than enough to keep Siena from acting brashly, eyes darting up and down to see who was speaking to her. 

"[color=ff57ff]O-oh, Zoe![/color]" Her heart still raced, but started to slow, allowing for her to recall the question that she thought had followed her name. "[color=ff57ff]Oh, um...no, not really.[/color]" She paused for a fraction of a second, then gave a chuckle. "[color=ff57ff]Actually, make that not at all.[/color]"

At that, Zoe laughed lightly. [color=palevioletred]"Thought so. You don't exactly look like the busiest person in the world right now."[/color] She wouldn't have annoyed Siena if she had, really. But hey, that meant that neither of them had anywhere to be. And Zoe actually felt like being around people wouldn't be so bad today. [color=palevioletred]"So, mind if I drag you into town? Might as well go find somewhere to spend the day."[/color]

Recalling their last interaction, Zoe figured there was at least one rule they could both agree to stick to. Gesturing to her face, she smiled. [color=palevioletred]"Somewhere without chandeliers, anyway."[/color]

Despite her best attempts, Siena gave a sheepish, apologetic smile at the mention of chandeliers, memories of having a few more sips of liquor than she should have and encouraging a few antics that she [i]really[/i] shouldn't have seeming distant though they had been less than a week ago. 

"[color=ff57ff]I'm still reaaaally sorry about that,[/color]" Siena claimed with an appropriate grimace. That definitely, [i]definitely[/i] was her fault. Still, at least it...[i]seemed[/i] like there weren't hard feelings? At least no feelings harder than the floor of a penthouse. The sheepish smile fell more into place, the apology fading slightly from Siena's expression as she responded to the first inquiry. "[color=ff57ff]But heading to town sounds better than staying cooped up here all day again.[/color]" 

And...well, the more distractions she had, the better, right?

[color=palevioletred]"Great! And don't worry; I've got a thick skull anyway."[/color] Zoe chuckled, pleased by the girl's agreement. Honestly, she'd wanted to head to the town for a while now, but it was better to have someone to go with. And, while it wasn't really the point, it was generally more helpful to have someone that wasn't an X around. Even with other subs, they could be seen as... what had been the word? Unreliable. Knowing what went on in her own head, Zoe couldn't blame them.

Come to think of it, though, she didn't have much of a plan. [color=palevioletred]"So, you need to get ready? It's only a few miles away, so we could probably grab some bikes and cycle down if you're up to it. I think they have some in the garage."[/color] It wasn't far to go, and it'd be good exercise the way Zoe saw it. That and, well, [color=palevioletred]"I kind of have no idea how to drive."[/color]

Ah, so Zoe didn't know how to drive? Siena gave a slight smile, knowing that her own position wasn't much better. That aside, she'd never ridden a bike beyond the boundaries of her estate before, but Siena didn't think that could really be a deterrent. After all, since she'd arrived at USARILN, there had been a lot of firsts--the first time riding a bike in absolute freedom didn't sound entirely terrible. 

She pushed the memory of who had taught her [i]how[/i] to ride a bike out of mind, and smiled at Zoe and responded with an attempt at humor. "[color=ff57ff]Unless my dog knows how to drive, I think we'll be stuck with bikes.[/color]"

[color=palevioletred]"I mean, have you checked? Never know what they could teach 'em around here."[/color] Zoe laughed, relieved. That was good, because she would have felt like a complete idiot if there hadn't actually been any way to [i]get[/i] to town. All things considered, though, this worked out fine. [color=palevioletred]"We go now, we should get there in time to grab lunch or something."[/color] Though from what little she'd seen of the place in their journey, Zoe wasn't convinced it'd be fine dining.
 
Deciding it would be easier for them to just figure it out once they got there, Zoe turned to make her way towards the garage. Glancing back over her shoulder, she shot Siena a grin. [color=palevioletred]"No point waiting around longer than we have to, right?"[/color]
[hr]
By the time that the duo had gotten to town, Siena had come to realize a few things about bikes. First, she hadn't ridden one in years, and that was to be expected with what limited space she had to ride in, she supposed. Second, when people said that one never forgot how to ride a bike, they were [i]the biggest damn liars she'd ever heard[/i]. Though she'd managed, with great effort, not to make [i]too[/i] much of a fool of herself, Siena had realized that she was not as comfortably balanced on a bike as she used to be, though with enough time, the girl had managed to largely regain whatever old talents she might have had on a two-wheeled vehicle of potential injury. Thank goodness she'd deigned to take a helmet with her. 

She really had to stop getting onto vehicles that [i]she[/i] was in control of--or so some sardonic voice in the back of her head declared. It was not wrong. Still, as the mage freed her hair from the bike helmet, she couldn't help but feel a little...lighter? It was hard to put her finger on the word. The feeling wasn't unpleasant.

"[color=ff57ff]W-Well, I somehow managed not to run my bike down a mountain side,[/color]" she said with a laugh. Something in the back of her head set off a faint, anxious warning. People generally didn't get along with subnaturals, would the town be any different? Again, the brunette pushed the thought aside and smiled instead. "[color=ff57ff]Any chance we can pretend I didn't run it into that tree though?[/color]"

[color=palevioletred]"I'll just say you'd have some impressive off-road skills,"[/color] Zoe grinned wickedly, [color=palevioletred]"if I didn't think you were trying to stay [i]on[/i] the road the whole time. How about I don't bring that up, and [i]you[/i] don't bring up the hotel."[/color] The younger girl didn't seem to have hurt much more than her pride, though, so it was fine to find it at least a little funny. That being said, Zoe was glad she hadn't let Siena try to drive or something.

As for this place, well... their journey had been delayed somewhat by Siena's grudge against nature, so it was more than late enough for Zoe to start feeling peckish. [color=palevioletred]"What do you say we find some food? There's gotta be someplace around here, and it should be around lunchtime."[/color] She glanced at Siena. [color=palevioletred]"You hungry?"[/color]

"[color=ff57ff]Sounds like a fair trade.[/color]" Even if the hotel incident [i]was[/i] Siena's fault. Falling in line beside Zoe, Siena took the chance to get a quick look around for a quick inspection of the atmosphere. The weather aside, it didn't seem like anyone was running at them with pitchforks for showing up, thouh the brunette had to say that was probably the [i]extreme[/i] reaction to the presence of subnaturals. Beyond that, nobody was getting in their faces, so she supposed it was hard to say that there was a reason for the two to be targeted. Finding that satisfactory, the Arbiter gave a haphazard grin in response. 

"[color=ff57ff]If I say yes, can I get revenge on some trees by eating a salad or something?[/color]" Like eating their leafy, chubby cousins, the heads of lettuce and spindly spinach. [i]This felt...natural.[/i] No time to think about that. She didn't [i]want[/i] to think about that. [i]Fine.[/i] The smile didn't falter. 

Zoe laughed lightly, her smile wide. [color=palevioletred]"That, I'm sure we can do. There's gotta be [i]somewhere[/i] around here with food - everyone's gotta eat, right?"[/color] Even out in the middle of nowhere, everyone had to eat, right?

After a long walk around the town, Zoe had firmly decided that this place was a complete shithole and seemed almost completely deserted. Any signs of life were evened out by the complete lack of anyone around. Eventually, they'd stumbled across a cafe of some sort. Better than nothing, she supposed, although she was no longer quite so sure they'd [i]have[/i] any salad. If there wasn't anything there, then she'd probably just give it up, in all honesty. [color=palevioletred]"Let's just head in here. If there's nothing, then we can at least sit for a while, 'cause this place is kind of a wreck."[/color]

Pushing open the door, Zoe grinned widely. If nothing else, she could at least hope that these people wouldn't be assholes. [color=palevioletred]"Afternoon."[/color]

The cafe owner was an older man--a quick peg marked him around his early 30's or late 20's--whose beard hadn't been trimmed in days. Yellowing water stains decorated his rumpled dress shirt and lint had gathered onto a nice layer across his brown corduroys. He smelled like alcohol, despite the cafe's only drinks being water and watered-down coffee, which gave away his pastime whenever he wasn't lazing in the little space he called his own. But all of that were peripherals, because the single most notable feature was the white streak across his face as he turned to look at them, brown eyes widening at the sight of Zoe's X, then narrowing towards the mark on Siena's face.

[color f7976a]"...What do you want?"[/color] he huffed, putting down the mug of coffee he had been nursing.

Following after Zoe into what claimed to be a cafe, Siena glanced around, the cafe quite a change from what the girl was used to. A small buzz in the back of her head murmured about how little Maya would have approved. Her clothing would get dirty--too late to fix that after the ride there--and things were--her eyes settled on the owner. A bit sloppy, but that wasn't of much concern when her eyes settled on the white streak mirroring Siena's own. 

[i]'[color=ff57ff]He's a subnatural too...?[/color]'[/i] 

It was startling in comparison to the last few establishments, and it took most of Siena's self control not to stare in wonder. She glanced at Zoe, then around the establishment, then back at the man in question, her speech apparently lost for a moment. "[color=ff57ff]Um...[/color]" A few potential words tried to form, but none seemed quite right, so she threw out the first question that came to mind. She regretted the question as soon as it had formed halfway, the grimace showing before the final words clearing. "[color=ff57ff]Are you open now?[/color]" Dumb question.

For her part, Zoe hadn't missed the man's surprise at their appearance, frowning when she realised he was a subnatural as well. A white mark; not hard to figure out which one of them he'd be likely to have an issue with, the way she saw it. Despite the potential hostility, she didn't mind the location itself. The grime of the place, while... not exactly high-class, was almost familiar. Comforting, compared to the strangeness of the mansion and its ever-present servants.

Even if this place wasn't exactly normal, it almost - [i]almost[/i] - offset how unnerving this whole town had been.

[color=palevioletred]"Hey, it's the middle of the day. I'm sure there won't be any problem with us hanging around for a little while."[/color] Zoe smiled at the man, though it clearly wasn't a friendly one. [color=palevioletred]"Right?"[/color]

[color f7976a]"...Don't cause no trouble. You start feeling that--that whatchamacallit you X's get--you get out of here. Go break something I won't miss."[/color] He continued watching them, as if expecting Zoe to fly off the handle at any second. [color f7976a]"Only have water and shit coffee right now. People don't really come here for drinks."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"What do they come here for? Depression?"[/color] Zoe spoke sharply before realising this probably wasn't helping her prospects here. She understood the reasoning, but it sucked to realise that even other subs would have that kind of reaction to her presence. Tempting as it was to push the point further, Zoe sighed. [color=palevioletred]"I'm sure I can find it in my heart to sit down for a few minutes without going on a destructive rampage."[/color] That, and she didn't want to drag Siena into a fight or force the girl to watch a murder.

An exercise in self-control. Shrugging, she walked over to grab a seat -  a manoeuvre designed more so she had an excuse to turn away. It wouldn't do to let him see the moment of bloodlust that she couldn't keep from her face, fading once the initial frustration settled.

The man snorted, already expecting trouble. X's were the same no matter how hard they tried to fight it. Sure, it wasn't their fault, but that didn't mean he had to put up with their shit. Like how old people got shafted into nursing homes, he figured, except the case here was less senility and more psychotic rampages.

[color f7976a]"News,"[/color] he answered, ignoring the snark of the response. [color f7976a]"Every month we get a packet of newspapers and magazines. They come here to talk."[/color] He nodded at an empty, rusting wall rack next to the end of the bar counter. [color f7976a]"And sometimes I hear things that don't find their way into no newspapers."[/color]

It didn't take long for tensions to rise, and Siena was reminded, once more, that Zoe had the black X on her throat, not the white paintstroke. The brunette didn't see the difference, didn't wonder what it was like feeling a need to break and destroy because she felt it frequently. It was hard to remember that they were different, even by subnatural standards, until someone else pointed it out to her. As Zoe moved for a seat, Siena turned her attention to the other man, shooting an apologetic look despite not feeling any real need to apologize. She would have moved to sit with Zoe, but her attention was suddenly grabbed by what the man said. 

Things that didn't make their way to newspapers? The girls eyes followed his motion, peering at the empty wall rack. It made sense that news wouldn't reach the remote location often, but...

"[color=ff57ff]What kinds of things?[/color]" The girl found herself asking before she could stop herself, that ambition to [i]know[/i] once more burning in her gut, spreading like it wished to consume her. 

[color f7976a]"The kinds that keep you alive if you catch it in time. Leviathans in the waters. Amigos or Senators finding their way here. Worse folks catching wind of this place. We keep to ourselves here. And for now. Don't need nothing disturbing the peace."[/color]

He was much less guarded around Siena, namely because she wasn't at risk of a black mark controlling her urges, but it was a fool's choice to think all white marks meant well. The leader of Amigos certainly didn't if the rumors from the favela were anything to go by.

Those were familiar names...had she read about them before? Amigos and Senators...Siena made a mental note to look into into it later, to refresh her memory if nothing else. The brunette gave a quiet nod in response, though she wondered if the presence of her classmates was something that counted as disturbing the peace. Well...

"[color=ff57ff]I...I see.[/color]" Another flash of curiosity, fire burning into her stomach. It consumed her more quickly than it should have, and trying to put the flames out, but succeeded only in fanning the embers. "[color=ff57ff]...has there been anything to hear of?[/color]"

The cafe owner chuckled, knowing the curious gaze. [color f7976a]"Let's have a look."[/color]

The outline of his body seemed to blur, before melting inward, colors and features fading until he looked like a two-dimensional figure ripped from a canvas and placed into reality. From every angle the effect remained the same and his silhouette finally faded into a dull gray. He was still while this happened, and within seconds he was back, the strange effect overlaying his body vanishing in an instant.

[color f7976a]"Amigos are up to something, down there in Providência. They've been shuttling supplies like mad for the past month now. From where and to who is anyone's guess at the moment. Things blocking me and obscuring me--probably their own mages at work. They're being that careful, then it's something that needs stopping, simple as that."[/color]

He picked up his coffee mug, sipping from it casually. [color f7976a]"But that's your free tidbit for the day."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"Nice trick. Hope you're not expecting us to pay you."[/color] Zoe frowned, but otherwise didn't seem too bothered either way about the information. It was slightly callous, but truth be told she didn't see why she should give a shit what they were doing down there. If it was an issue they needed to deal with, they'd be sent there. Otherwise, Zoe didn't care what plan they were working on; if they weren't trying to kill any of them right now, it wasn't her problem.

She doubted the papers for this month had come in yet, or surely [i]someone[/i] would've made the connection between the new group and the sudden appearance of a boatload of subs. Then again... Zoe turned to look at the man, a questioning look on her face. [color=palevioletred]"For all you're saying people come here to talk, I don't see any. Hell, I haven't seen anyone around since getting here. Place is a damn ghost town."[/color] And she wanted to know what was up with that a whole lot more than she cared about what the Amigos were doing.

[color f7976a]"People keep away from new ones. Never know what'll go wrong. Or what someone's up to. Best to keep scarce until they tip their hands."[/color] He sat down on a stool behind the bar, massaging his legs with a free hand. [color f7976a]"Thing you need to understand is we don't like trouble around here. We keep to ourselves. But it's a sub-run place and word gets out every so often. Then trouble comes looking. You're gonna have to give people a break if they think you're just more trouble brewing."[/color]

Where Zoe had seemed unimpressed, Siena couldn't help but feel a trickle of envy at the man's abilities. Information gathering? As a power? Even her usual ability to keep herself in check couldn't stop the small surge of mild giddiness that came to mind at the prospect. Certainly, it wasn't an ability that could be used in the situations that she had found herself placed in during the last month, but...all that information at one's fingertips. She could barely hear the ensuing conversation for all the possibilities that crowded the space usually reserved for sorting what belonged to her and what didn't. It wasn't until an odd phrase came up in conversation that Siena felt herself ground back into reality as though being thrown into the ground by a giant at full strength. 

[i]'[color=ff57ff]A sub-run place?[/color]'[/i] Siena furrowed her brow faintly while drifting toward the table Zoe had settled at. Did Zhang know about it? She had to, considering they were being put up at her estate, and there was...there was no way she would employ so many subnaturals while lingering so close to an area run by subnaturals without noticing. Something didn't quite add up, a piece that didn't fall into place. It grated at Siena no matter which way she turned it in her head, and that was frustrating in and of itself. Did the subnaturals know about Zhang? Wouldn't they have to?

"[color=ff57ff]So everyone here is a subnatural...?[/color]" It was odd to consider that when the marks had seemed so rare when outside of USARILN's gates. It took some time for the girl to digest the concept. That was an entirely different type of demographic to consider--were there more Arbiters than Aberrations? The other way around? How did it work with everyone sporting some sort of supernatural gift? The torrent of questions seemed not to end, but she didn't expect to voice them without being thrown out. Not after what she'd just heard. 

A soft voice of reason in the back of her head alerted Siena to something else, and her expression shifted, melded into something between concern and what might have passed as some version of sorrow.

"[color=ff57ff]Even accounting for powers, if [i]everyone[/i] is managing to keep out of sight, there probably aren't that many here, are there...?[/color]"

[color f7976a]"Mm-hm,"[/color] the man intoned, eyes flicking into that surreal two-dimensional tone. He snapped into and out of the power easily, as if from habit, and after several moments of searching a space the girls couldn't see, he finally raised an eyebrow at them. [color f7976a]"Well, if you still want to sit here knowing there's not much here at all, be my guest. But don't stay too long. People might get antsy."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"Oh, that's fine, I've already got a mass murder penned into my schedule this evening, so I can't stay too long."[/color] Zoe's acid tone gave away exactly how unimpressed she was with this guy, but she didn't do anything to warrant a fight. Not right now, anyway. Judging by his reaction to her, Zoe couldn't help but suspect that there weren't many of her type around. Made sense on some level, but it was still grating - perhaps more so after dealing with the pricks in DC. [color=palevioletred]"Wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, would we?"[/color]

[color f7976a]"...Right. Make lots of friends with that attitude, don'tcha?"[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"I'm not trying to. You're not worth my time."[/color] Except maybe as target practice. Zoe wondered what kind of consequences she'd face if she lost it in here. Couldn't be sure, but either way, he'd be less ugly if she mounted his head on a wall, tore his skin off like a-- and with that thought, Zoe stood abruptly, glancing towards the door but not quite bolting yet.

"[color=ff57ff]Z-Zoe?[/color]" The redhead's sudden movement was more than enough to elicit some concern from Siena's end, and she didn't need to hide it at that moment. It was enough to take the bookworm's mind off of what the man had been seeking earlier. Things about them? Things about events far away? An uneasiness had set its icy grip onto her, one that only amplified with each passing moment. "Are you okay?" Dumb question, not one that was really worth asking. "[color=ff57ff]Is something wrong?[/color]"

[i]Was that really a better question?[/i]

[color=palevioletred]"Sort of."[/color] Was something wrong? Or were the thoughts as horrifyingly [i]right[/i] as they felt? Zoe didn't want to mention why she'd reacted that way in front of the cafe owner, if only because she'd be proving him right. But hell, she'd already almost killed someone since they were brought to the damn mansion - he [i]was[/i] right in her case. And even if she was justified, any fight would end with the guy in a body bag more likely than not.

But damn if it wasn't tempting to start one anyway, reenact one of those terrible fantasies. If it weren't for Siena's presence, Zoe couldn't say if she'd have had the same kind of restraint. As it was, the thoughts seemed to subside a little as the spark of anger faded, leaving the redhead more composed but noticeably tense. [color=palevioletred]"I think I need to clear my head."[/color]

[color f7976a]"Tell you something good, since you're here and you look like you could use it,"[/color] the cafe owner called out, watching Zoe with some measure of respect for even attempting to get out of there before things could get nasty. [color f7976a]"Dunno about other Animi, but Cat's Cradle--they don't have that problem no more. The little evils that come with the X. I don't know if it's one of their powers or what, but whatever you're suffering ain't a universal law. Dunno if that helps any since the group's damn near impossible to catch, but it's something."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"Something, huh?"[/color] Zoe wasn't sure what she was meant to do with that information, but she found herself feeling something completely stupid - hope. Because with the way things had gone, there was every chance their paths would cross with Cat's Cradle again. And for all they'd done, even when Zoe knew they were supposed to be murderous psychopaths--

Was it so wrong to be a monster when the whole world was against you? It was a path she would happily walk down if it meant power. If it meant protecting the others from everything else. Knowing that it might let her be free of those constant urges was just one hell of a bonus. So for once in her life, Zoe decided she'd hold on to that hope, nodding almost imperceptibly.

[color=palevioletred]"Sorry about this, Siena, but I'd rather explain outside."[/color] She moved to leave the cafe with an apologetic sigh, pausing at the door and speaking to the man. As close to friendliness as she could muster. [color=palevioletred]"I didn't catch your name."[/color]

[color f7976a]"Andrew,"[/color] he replied, nodding at her. [color f7976a]"And you'll want to get back to the estate soon, Zoe. I think your friend's dog is chewing on your orange bra. Or her orange bra. The one with that fancy netting for 'breathability' or whatever those sports commercials call it."[/color]

"[color=ff57ff]Wh--[/color]" Grey eyes darted from Andrew to Zoe. [i]He had been looking into them.[/i] A series of unpleasant emotions largely centering on anxiety started to form, bu--wait. Siena didn't own any orange bras. And how had Chief Tater Tot managed to--oh no. She must not have closed the door to her room properly. "[color=ff57ff]Oh no.[/color]"

[color=palevioletred]"Siena, I don't suppose you've got any way of stopping your dog before it eats all my underwear? You'd be doing me a favour."[/color] This was irritating. That was a good bra, and she'd rather be able to keep it, especially when there didn't seem to be anywhere to buy more around here. At least Andrew had been--

[color=palevioletred][i]Wait a fucking minute.[/i][/color]

Zoe suddenly found herself reconsidering the melting idea. Technically, he could live life without certain body parts, right? Icy blue eyes narrowed at the cafe owner. [color=palevioletred]"...hang on, why the fuck were you [i]looking[/i]?"[/color]

The man raised his hands in a half-hearted placating gesture, coffee mug once more set aside. [color f7976a]"Can never be sure people are who they claim to be. Either I check, or I risk dealing with some damn good actors without knowing."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"I'm going to hope you were just looking at my room. Because if you were trying to look through my underwear, we're going to need a conversation."[/color] Zoe's words sounded surprisingly reasonable, though there was something in her tone that made it sound as though she was itching for him to give her a real reason to rip something off. After a second, that semblance of reason disappeared. [color=palevioletred]"Actually, you know wh--"[/color] 

Just as she seemed ready to lunge, she caught a glimpse of Siena out of the corner of her eye. [color=palevioletred][i]You'll drag her down with you.[/i][/color] That was right. Zoe was supposed to look after them, wasn't she? Supposed to make sure nothing went wrong. That was what she'd decided. Doing this would hurt the others, not just Andrew. Another betrayal.

And it was that thought, not any concern for the man's life, that made her decide to abandon the conversation mid-sentence, turning and pushing the door open to exit the cafe without a word of explanation. 

"[color=ff57ff]A-Ah...[/color]' She'd braced herself in case jumping in was necessary, in case she had to do something more than [i]be there[/i]. but before anything could happen, Zoe was out the door. [i]Familiar, isn't it?[/i] Another memory that she couldn't quite place. A soft breath, something that echoed as though being screamed into a hollow valley. Another apologetic look toward Andrew--instinctive and only partially genuine beneath the concern. "[color=ff57ff]Sorry...[/color]"

One step toward the door, a second step, and then she paused. It was an option. She could ask. The brunette turned again, looked at the cafe owner, opened her mouth to [i]ask[/i], then hesitated. [i]Did she really want to know?[/i] Her closed her mouth. Too hard to tell, so instead she moved for the door after Zoe.

[color=palevioletred]"You don't need to follow me, you know."[/color]

Zoe didn't look back before she spoke, hearing Siena exiting the cafe behind her. Despite acknowledging the other girl's presence, the redhead continued walking for a few more seconds before sighing and giving her a pained look. [color=palevioletred]"I'm serious, Siena. I have to cool off, and I doubt you'll be able to help."[/color] 

'[color=ff57ff]I'll stand back here if that's what you want.[/color]" Because Siena knew how it felt to want everyone at arm's length--further, even. Her feet stopped, and the Arbiter watched with a cautious gaze. "[color=ff57ff]In case you decide that you can use me.[/color]" Her fingers ran to her pocket, thumbed over the smooth screen of her phone. Cooling herself off was easier, but Siena was equally certain that there was there was [i]someone[/i] in her arsenal that could calm someone else in the best case. 

[i]And if she needs to cool off because she's going through something like your little performance at the library?[/i]

It wouldn't come to that.

Ha. Like there was any helping it. It was going away, fading, but... it'd come back, wouldn't it? Always did. The rest of her life. Pretty arrogant, to believe she could just tear it all away, to neglect sating her Stigma properly in favour of trying to pretend she was something she wasn't. Always someone else that paid for it.

Zoe was silent for a long while before speaking. Her voice was angry when she did, but at the same time there was something detached about it, something distant. [color=palevioletred]"You know what my power is, right? I rot things. Rot people. Until they die. Hurts a hell of a lot, too."[/color] At least from her own experience. She still wasn't looking at Siena, and didn't particularly seem to care who might or might not overhear her.

[color=palevioletred]"There's a reason people don't like X-marks. If you weren't there--"[/color] And suddenly it felt a lot less distant, a lot more immediate and real and painful. [color=palevioletred]"I keep telling myself I'll get better, and I don't. I'm a [i]fucking[/i] liability."[/color] She didn't know why she was saying any of this.

There was almost a sour taste of irony in the words. Rotting people until they died. Certainly, Zoe's was more literal, but Siena didn't doubt that she could do the same--except hers wasn't a power. It was just because it was her. The brunette didn't let it show on her face, didn't remove her gaze from Zoe's back. A reason why people didn't like X-marks, one that she was surprisingly familiar with herself. Versatility at a cost. Power at a cost. Everything with a price tag, except for Zoe, ignoring it would probably make it worse.

"[color=ff57ff]But you're trying, aren't you?[/color]" Which was more than Siena could say for herself. [i]Get lost in every other emotion until she could deny which ones were hers.[/i] The Arbiter remained where she stood, didn't step closer because she remembered what it felt like to be desperate for space. Don't touch. Don't get closer. [i]Don't. Touch.[/i] "[color=ff57ff]I can't pretend I know or completely understand, but you're trying, and that's a first step.[/color]"

Even if there was no way to get better. 

A moment, she hesitated. 

"[color=ff57ff]I don't know what it is that X-marks go through, but I know what it's like not to have control.[/color]" Not to have a way to curb the desire to [i]break[/i] something because there was another, louder voice that demanded destruction. "[color=ff57ff]As far as I know, that's not something that gets better quickly.[/color]"

[color=palevioletred]"That's a nice thought."[/color]

[i]Trying[/i]. Wasn't that a word? Trying to be better, trying to be stronger, trying to be something, anything other than a goddamn mess. Try, try, try - and fail every time. How funny was it, that people actually thought they could rely on her, that she knew what she was doing here? Flying blind - or was it just falling with nobody left to catch her? Sinking lower and lower, because that was infinitely better than watching someone else do it.

[color=palevioletred]"I told you before, didn't I? That I'm a bad person."[/color] Zoe smiled. [color=palevioletred]"I don't plan on being a good one, either. Good people..."[/color] Died. Hesitated. Got hurt by people like her. [color=palevioletred]"Can't protect what's important."[/color] Couldn't tear down the world for their own sake, or rip someone head to toe without hesitation.

Zoe wasn't trying to [i]fight[/i] what she was becoming, far from it. [color=palevioletred]"This isn't going away - and to tell the truth, I'm not trying to fight it off. I've hurt enough teammates to know that doesn't work, no matter what I tell myself."[/color] Finally, she turned to face Siena, her eyes cold. [color=palevioletred]"All I can do is try to aim it at the right place."[/color]

Cold eyes. Siena didn't flinch. Not the first time she'd seen them, and she doubted it would be the last. Trying to aim it at the right place? That was good enough for her. At least she was trying to do that much. Siena wondered, briefly, if she should have agreed, should have been honest. A few weeks ago, she might have backed down, but a few weeks ago, she hadn't been carrying too many thoughts in her head. Everything had been neatly compartmentalized so she could keep being Santana. 

"[color=ff57ff]That's good enough.[/color]" For her, at least. It was more than Siena could say for herself. [i]How many times will you break things before you're satisfied?[/i] "[color=ff57ff]That's an effort that too many of us haven't made.[/color]"

[color=palevioletred]"Is it?"[/color] And yet it wasn't good enough to mend anything, to make her a better person. Not even good enough to slow her descent. But good enough, perhaps, that she would be the only one destroyed by her fall. [color=palevioletred]"The ends justify the means, don't they?"[/color]

Perhaps this was callous, even cruel to bring up, but Zoe didn't care. [color=palevioletred]"We're pretty much okay right now, so I don't much care how we got here. Collateral damage or not."[/color] Collateral damage? Nice way to describe the pile of bodies they left in their wake. Why had she kept speaking? Because she wanted someone to tell her she was wrong? To argue? 

[color=palevioletred]"But if we're not smart about what we're doing, then it'll hurt us too. Your team got lucky in DC that no footage got out. I got lucky in Wisford that a healer made it to Cal before she bled out."[/color] A sigh. [color=palevioletred]"If anyone isn't making the effort, they need to start. We won't keep getting lucky."[/color]

"[color=ff57ff]I'm aware.[/color]" And she thought of Marcus. Thought of how easy it had been to pull him in, how easily she had stomped on what might have been there. A friendship, maybe. There were so very few she considered friends. Instead of dwelling, Siena did what she knew was easier--simple compartmentalization. Separating herself from her emotions--at least the ones that she could pack away like spare parts. Her gaze went unfaltering, but it wasn't the same, quiet expression that she practiced for USARILN. Not the slight smile, the nervous gaze. Not the girl that thought being surrounded by people would make things easier. 

[i]Would he be proud?[/i]

"[color=ff57ff]At this point, someone would have to be blind not to realize that we're no longer simply cuffed subnaturals under USARILN employ.[/color]" Blinder still to think that they were children being sent to war. Not quite soldiers, but certainly not children. "[color=ff57ff]Forcing someone to make the effort is beyond me, but reminding them where to aim may not be.[/color]" But why was it her duty to begin with? She knew the answer without having to think. Because it was easier for her to sacrifice. Easier when she didn't see something that still looked human when she looked at herself. 

She thought of all the people that she hadn't been able to help. Of the red that hadn't belonged to sin. Of how she knew if she were to fall back into old habits and hum a melody engrained far beyond her reach, she would see her flesh burn crimson. 

"[color=ff57ff]But you're here, already making the effort. You're here, willing to tell me what I may not want to hear instead of pitying me.[/color]" And it would never be enough for someone that didn't want to see themselves as "good". She knew that. Again, she thought of Marcus. Of how easy it had been to tell him not to care and make a cruel decision. "[color=ff57ff]Maybe we aren't good people. That's fine. Good people can't make hard decisions.[/color]" Couldn't cut apart monster from friend if they needed to make that sacrifice. "[color=ff57ff]They don't always know where the right place to aim is.[/color]"

[color=palevioletred]"You're right. Doesn't mean they'll appreciate it when you take the shot, or that they'll see what's necessary, never mind trying to understand."[/color] There was a hint of disdain in Zoe's tone of voice - though not directed at Siena. [color=palevioletred]"Does that really mean they're blind? Or just looking the other way out of fear?"[/color]

This was familiar. The girl's words were familiar, perhaps because they'd echoed Zoe's own thoughts around the matter to an almost unnerving degree. The steadiness of the arbiter's gaze surprised her with a different revelation. A strange yet not-quite-similar reflection of her own resolve. They weren't so different, were they? And yet, to the rest of the world, their different marks were a divide that would never be crossed. 

[color=palevioletred]"[i]Czernobog[/i]. Bad luck and evil personified. They're probably right to be afraid of me. Because when it comes to it, when it [i]really[/i] matters... I'd sooner kill a thousand people than risk seeing someone I care for die. A lot of our classmates would hate me for that, but I don't care so long as they'd be alive to do it."[/color] It was selfish, she knew that, but the admission didn't bother her in the slightest. Why lie? She had no reason to play at not being a monster. She'd done bad things for far worse reasons before.

[color=palevioletred]"I don't really care what that makes me, to be honest. I know I don't care about the wider world, and I know I've done nothing to anyone that I wouldn't endure myself. That's more than enough for my conscience."[/color]

Both willing to make sacrifices, even if they weren't the same type. Siena couldn't deny that Zoe's straightforwardness was refreshing. It was easier to listen to someone that didn't make pretenses about what they were and weren't willing to do. Part of Siena was relieved with honesty, but another part of her felt another weight pressed upon her back. 

[i]Then I hope that you don't care for me.[/i]

She couldn't say that.

"[color=ff57ff]If it's any consolation, I doubt there's much you could do to make me fear you.[/color]"

Truth.

[color=palevioletred][i]You have no idea.[/i][/color]

But did Zoe really know that? None of this conversation had been something she expected of Siena, after all. Still, it was strange that Siena didn't seem to be bothered by what Zoe had to say. Because it would have been easy for Siena to lie about, to try and persuade her otherwise. Pretend to be a good person and put up a token fight to ease her own conscience. Maybe it wouldn't have worked, but that hadn't stopped people before, had it?

She really didn't know much about Siena at all.

[color=palevioletred]"I think I believe you. Thanks, but..."[/color] Zoe sounded conflicted. [color=palevioletred]"I'm not sure how I feel about that."[/color]

Siena gave a hollow smile. Well, it was to be expected, wasn't it? This wasn't the same expression, the same girl that she'd presented before. A distant question of whether she should have just kept playing the same part. Better at being the nice, demure child after being groomed, but that wasn't what she needed to be. Needed something that could at least pass for a little more straightforward, a little more willing to be blunt.

Ah...wasn't that why she appreciated Zoe to begin with?

"[color=ff57ff]At least there's plenty of time for you to decide on that,[/color]" Siena claimed. Plenty of things to be more afraid of than someone that seemed to care, after all. 

[color=palevioletred]"I guess there is. For me, anyway."[/color] Because unless things seriously started to change, Zoe doubted she'd have the luck to be dying any time soon. Still, for the others? With how wrong things kept going...

No. She wouldn't let that happen. Whatever she had to do, she didn't want to sit back and watch anyone else die. Wouldn't leave them responsible for another set of murders. Next time she'd be faster, stronger, more [i]vicious[/i] than anything in their way.

[color=palevioletred]"Not much to do but wait and face whatever might be coming. Maybe we'll get lucky and no-one dies this time."[/color] Maybe they'd get luckier, and it'd kill her and leave the rest of them alive. Zoe nodded to herself, appearing somewhat more composed than she had upon exiting the cafe.

As Zoe locked eyes with the other girl, she was going to thank Siena, but something stopped her. No, it wasn't thankfulness that was at the forefront of her mind, but rather something else. So the words that came out weren't 'thank you', but something else. Surprise, and perhaps a hint of amusement.

[color=palevioletred]"You're not easy to predict, are you?"[/color]

The words gave Siena pause. That was one way to put it--she couldn't entirely say that she knew what she would do at a given moment. Not when everything was in danger of unraveling in the heat of a moment, with a few well placed words, with a few memories that she didn't especially want to see. 

Her gaze turned away, an instinctive motion to hide the color again. No need to do so when she knew they were grey, but old habits were hard to put to rest.

"[color=ff57ff]No, I guess not.[/color]" She raked a few fingers through her bangs, pushed them out of her face. "[color=ff57ff]Not exactly the best thing, is it?[/color]"

[color=palevioletred]"I wouldn't know."[/color] Zoe noted that the other girl was avoiding her gaze, but didn't read any more into it than that. [color=palevioletred]"I've been told I'm hardheaded, obstinate, bitchy... and incredibly predictable."[/color]

Perhaps she'd hit a nerve somehow, but Zoe wasn't exactly scrambling to make up for it. [color=palevioletred]"You're what you make of yourself. Am I a bitch? Yes. Are you unpredictable?"[/color] There was a slight pause. [color=palevioletred]"Maybe. I'm telling you you are. But why does what I'm saying matter? No-one else gets to decide that."[/color] It didn't occur to Zoe, really, that the two of them were from completely different worlds.

Perhaps there was a certain lack of understanding for Siena's situation. Arrogance in Zoe's assumption that everyone was theirs, and theirs alone. The way the redhead viewed the world was remarkably simple.

[color=palevioletred]"You'd do well to give less of a shit, really."[/color]

Would it have been cruel to prove the argument wrong? That was the first thought that came to Siena's mind at the words. To stand there and tell Zoe that the brunette before her made decisions based on things that didn't belong to her? Her expression didn't falter despite the flurry of thoughts, she remained calm, as though centered in the eye of the storm.

It wasn't the time. 

"[color=ff57ff]You do have a point. I probably shouldn't care as much as I do.[/color]" And the practiced smile fell into place. "[color=ff57ff]Y-you know how it goes though. Old habits die hard, right?[/color]"

[i]Old habits[/i]. Zoe wondered if those were the words to explain the sting in her hands, the bodies in her wake. There were parts of her too, ugly parts, that she couldn't quite kill without risking so much more. Not quite selfish enough to take that risk, not quite selfless enough to let anyone help her until she could. However true or false Siena's explanation was, it was enough for Zoe to accept.

For now, all they could do was soldier on through their self-indulgent suffering. Because old habits died hard.

[color=palevioletred]"They do, don't they. They really do."[/color] 

And perhaps, for now, there was nothing else to say. [/hider]