[center][img]https://i.imgur.com/5tNCUSO.png[/img][/center]

[h1][color=9e0039]𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓭 𝓦𝓮𝓮𝓴: 𝓡𝓮𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮[/color][/h1]
[hider=Chapter IX: Loss of Control]
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[h2][img]http://i.imgur.com/OiIXHEg.png[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/XZCyPaz.png[/img]
[color=9e0039]Angélique[/color] | [color=33ec06]Marcus[/color][/h2]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img][hr][color=silver]𝕆𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝟝, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕   / /   ℤ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘'𝕤 𝔼𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖   / /  𝟙𝟟𝟘𝟘  [/color][hr]
[sub]Collab with [@Chasers115][/sub]
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A few weeks, and he'd still not been in the garage to check out the 'beautiful cars' he'd been hearing about from eavsdropping and some of the staff who'd shown him around. Hell, he'd not even seen the rest of the island save for the beaches he wandered and the forest he got shot in that one time. There was apparently a whole town around, but he was reluctant to explore. It seemed like that last two towns they'd been in hadn't exactly been 'friendly', and after what happened during the DC evacuation, he didn't trust himself to put up with more angry civilians. 

Didn't want to accidentally tarnish that sparkling reputation that Time Scar had developed.

Even if he wasn't going into town, it wouldn't hurt to at least admire the cars. Get a feel for what kind of funds Zhang was working with. The place was big, the area was nice; if the cars were beautiful too, he'd start wondering if it was government money or if Zhang had a secret previous life that nobody knew about.

And boy were they. He could certainly see what all the fuss was about. Fairly decent looking automobiles, and Marcus couldn't help but let out a low whistle upons seeing them all lined up. Fastidiously taken care of too - apparently the maids really put in the elbow grease around these things.

It hadn’t been too long since Angel came back from yet another trip at the beach with one of the cars. She had come back earlier today. To make up for the extended evening spent here, the raven-haired driver had requested the estate’s personnel to allow her to clean the cars. She was bored and took pleasure in rubbing off the dust and sand off the fine vehicles. It brought her back to those weekends when she’d take her sweet time making sure her own car was thoroughly cleaned, sparkling and well-maintained. Her car had been a symbol of freedom, and it had served her well in travelling from one place to another as a musician. Those days were long gone, but they remained good memories, and cleaning those Hellcats right now did bring back some good thoughts.
 
Having come back from the beach, and thinking she might as well not soak her casualwear wet from washing down the cars, Angélique still was wearing the same bikini she had been wearing at the beach party while working on those beauties. At first she did not notice Marcus entering the garage, as she was kneeling behind one of the cars and applying the finishing touches on the rims. It was when she heard a familiar whistle that she popped out from her hiding place, surprised to see Marcus standing there and admiring the cars.

[color=9e0039]“Hey there, what’s up?”[/color]  
 
"[color 33ec06]GAH![/color]" Marcus yelled in surprise, shrinking into a slightly defensive position when something literally jumped up from behind one of the cars. However it was only Angel, and he allowed himself to relax and bring his breathing back down to a normal level. "[color 33ec06]Jesus, Angel. Between your wierd little voice thing you keep doing and this, you're going to end my life before any of DC's creatures get the chance.[/color]"

He tried his best to avoid looking his bikini-clad classmate too hard; he certainly didn't need to embarass himself any more than he had at the beach party in that regard. He focused more on the cars he'd been previously admiring, answering Angel's question with a soft shrug. "[color 33ec06]Just looking around, haven't gotten the chance to check out these puppies, and I was in the area.[/color]"

A slight look of confusion caused him to furrow his brow, and he looked over to Angel. "[color 33ec06]Wait. What are [i]you[/i] doing here?[/color]"

[color=9e0039]“Sorry~”[/color] Angel teased an innocent grin in reaction to Marcus’ surprise. He really was easy to scare, wasn’t he? 
 
 [color=9e0039]“I was washing the cars."[/color] the Aberration explained as she lifted the bucket of water from her side of the car to eye level.  [color=9e0039]“I’d say they don’t wash themselves, but the maids usually are doing that when I come back. I was just bored and figured I might as well do it myself.”[/color]
 
The young woman paused, bringing the bucket back to the ground with the wet cloth and grease. [color=9e0039]“You interested in cars, Marcs?”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]You know the maids and stuff probably get [i]paid[/i] to do that kind of stuff, right? But hell, I'm not one to tell you what to do with your free time.[/color]" Marcus said, settling into a easy grin and leaning off to the side of the cars.

"[color 33ec06]I was never a huge fan of them, but Ma- er...my sister showed an interest. She always talked about getting something sleek and fast, and all the different things she named off always went straight over my head. But I can appreciate beauty when I see it at least, I'm not a blind man.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]“These sure are quite the beauties, heh? My grandfather has an old Dodge Challenger in his garage. He’s big on muscles cars. While I do like them too, I prefer something fancier, like sedans and sports cars. I used to drive my very own Aston Martin. I think your sis would’ve loved it.”[/color] Angélique seemed lost in thoughts as she told about fond memories of the life she used to have before USARILN. It did bring her a sense of nostalgia as she thought of her grandparents and her previous days of freedom. Thinking about it sure brought a burdening feeling on her shoulders.
 
But she won’t let herself be defeated by those grim reminders. [color=9e0039]“Want to catch a ride and see what these can do on the road?”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]I bet she would...[/color]" Marcus said, lost in his own train of thought. Max still hadn't texted him back, and while he kept telling himself it was just the poor reception...it had been a week or two, and he was starting to worry a little. A car trip would certainly help to clear his mind, and he certainly wasn't doing anything else for the day.

"[color 33ec06]I've got no plans; so yeah! You better be the one volunteering to drive though, because I am not risking Zhang's wrath if I accidentally dent one.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]“Cool! Hop on in then!“[/color] Angel enthusiastically hopped over the shelf holding the keys she left on earlier and went to take place onto the driver’s seat, buckling her seatbelt and starting the engine.

Marcus gave Angel another confused look. "[color 33ec06]Wait. Now? Are you not going to...[/color]" he started, leaving the thought hanging for only a brief moment before he moved to the other side of the car. It wasn't his seats, and Angel apparently didn't care, so there was no reason for him to. Although, that line of thinking gave him flashbacks to interacting with Hazel.

He slid into the passeger's seat, slamming the door and clicking his seatbelt into place, before rolling the window down slightly and giving Angel an excited look. "[color 33ec06]Alright rockstar, let's see what you can do.[/color]"

The sound of squealing tires indicated their exit from the garage.

[hr]

"[color 33ec06]I'm telling you, I've got the money back at USARILN. Twenty dollars to make Zoe's crotch flirt with Lawrence using your wierd voice thingy.[/color]" Marcus said, laughing at the visual image. Perhaps that would break Lawrence's stoic facade. Or get Angel killed in the process. Twenty dollars was twenty dollars though.

The duo were travelling nicely down one of the island's larger coastline roads, the few number of other people on the road allowing them to maintain a fairly decent cruising speed. Marcus's hair was slightly breezed back from when he'd stuck his head out the window like an excited dog, and there was still a slight smear on his face from where he'd caught a bug at highway speeds.

[color=9e0039]“Oh my fucking god…”[/color] Angélique groaned but still laughed at the absurdity of the situation.
 
The things that Marcus could come up with once she told him about her new voice projection ability. When Angel spoke about efficiency and plans, Marcus just had been throwing pranks and jokes ideas about its use. They totally had different views of how to do things, but she welcomed the humor in all this. It certainly was better than thinking about all they’ve been through.
 
[color=9e0039]“Jeez. I know I don’t have much money left… but damn… that’s pretty hardcore. I… don’t think I could manage to pull that without dying of embarrassment. How about next time someone gets fish from the cafeteria I try to convince them its ghost is haunting their meal?”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]Where's the excitement in that? I'm paying for a show here - I want to see if you can get away before she vaults the desk and tries to melt you. Lousy dead fish ain't gonna chase you across the campus while its zipper yells profanities.[/color]" Marcus said, his grin growing even wider, if that were physically possible.

[color=9e0039]“Clearly you’re not the one who’s going to get what’s underneath their zippers melted.”[/color] Angel grinned but frowned slightly at the picture. She couldn’t even imagine what Zoe would do to her after having her pride be defiled in such a way. Really, the last thing that came into mind was to cross the proud Zoe.
 
After a moment of debating against each other about her lack of guts to actually pull out these kinds of jokes, the discussion winded down to a small moment of silence, both of them watching the coast-side scenery quickly passing by them. 
 
[color=9e0039]“Say, Marcs. How did it get down to this? I mean, the whole situation with Christopher?”[/color]

Marcus's mood shifted slightly at the mention of Chris. He'd seen about all he needed to see of the kid at the beach party, and Angel's incessent nagging had really done nothing to improve his irritation in that situation.

There was more silence, before Marcus responded rather curtly. "[color 33ec06]You said you know about it. What exactly do I need to say that you probably don't already know? Dude's a prick. Picked a fight. It got...messier than it should have and I put a stop to it.[/color]" There was a certain level of hesatation to his voice as he spoke. 'Messier' was certainly an understatement - he'd left a fairly sizable patch of red sand back on the beach. Plus, that had been a sensation he'd been trying to forget, and Chris had done nothing to help.

Marcus unconsciously pulled his sleeve a little further down, holding it in place with his hand. Something he was trying to forget indeed.

[color=9e0039]“I… just wanted to know both sides of the story. You both been good friends to me, even though I have to admit Chris’ brooding and attitude got me on my nerves a few times already.” [/color]
 
While Angel barely knew about Marcus, she had grown fond of his company, for all the good he was trying to inspire and his attempts of lightening up the mood when she was at her lowest. While Chris was the complete opposite, she saw in him someone who needed help and felt sort of like an elder sister trying to push her brother to stop being so moody. Angel had no obligations to like them both and try to get in-between their rivalry, but still…
 
[color=9e0039]“I just hate seeing my friends hurt each other like that. I understand we are not forced to like each other. Hell, you saw what’s going on between Ernest and I. But I can’t stand it when others try to hurt the others. We’re supposed to be classmates. No, teammates. We already have enough of dealing with monsters and Rogues and coming out alive from these battles. We shouldn’t have to watch out for killing each other on top of that.”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]Well, my side is that he's nothing but an irredemable prick.[/color]" Marcus huffed angrily. "[color 33ec06]He punched me once when I called him out for spying on Siena, and he snuck up behind me and started a fight while I was hanging out on the beach. I know he's a classmate, but I'm certainly not going to play as somebody's punching bag.[/color]"

"[color 33ec06]Besides, I'm not the trying to flambe his supposed teammates. You want to talk about avoiding killing eachother, you should talk to him about it.[/color]" he added, turning from adressing Angel directly to looking out the window.

Angélique listened intently to Marcus’ explanation, her focus remaining on the road all the while. So it all started down from a situation with Siena? Shit, it was rooted deeper than what she actually thought. What were those two thinking anyway? 
 
[color=9e0039]“Chris can be a dickhead, I know. Thing is, he was probably trying to get his bearings to talk to Siena. They have a slow thing going, you know? Well, not that it seems to be going anywhere now, but still.”[/color]
 
Angel paused, realizing that she might have spilled the beans onto something that she shouldn’t be talking about as she tried to explain the situation. 
 
[color=9e0039]“But yeah, I actually already talked to him about it. I certainly don’t approve of what he did, and I hope he fucking got my point across his brain. At least he regrets about what he did, though he was pretty extreme about it.”[/color]

Marcus couldn't help but let out a scoff when Angel mentioned a 'slow thing going' between Chris and Siena. If it was going anywhere, he'd have to make sure that Siena knew exactly who she was dealing with. Even if they were still a little testy with their friendship, he certianly didn't want to see any more of the scaled boy that he had to.

"[color 33ec06]Id be a little worried if you did approve of that, Angel. Leave me thinking we were friends and everything.[/color]" Marcus remarked dryly, giving a forced chuckle at the comment. "[color 33ec06]But I don't care if he buys me a fruit basket when we get back to campus. Trying to burn me alive...[/color]"

[i]Pain. As the heat burned his flesh and his skin split open. An ebbing dullness where nerves burned and died. It hurt. It hurt so much.[/i]

"[color 33ec06]...it's not something I'm going to forgive.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]“Nonono, I didn’t want to say it like that. I mean, I yelled at him or didn’t try to console him about what he did and-… goddamn shit you know what I what my point is.”[/color] Angel stammered in trying to rectify what she was saying. Hell, why were the words that came out of her mouth poorly reflected what she truly meant? 
 
The Aberration grumbled for a few seconds at her communication problems before growing silent. Forgiveness, huh? Oddly enough, that reminded her exactly of her situation towards the others. Explain herself as much as she wanted, forgiveness was something she did not expect the others to give her for what happened in Washington. 
 
[color=9e0039]“I… understand. It’s unforgivable. I just hope that… he won’t let whatever he’s fighting inside get the better of him again…” [/color]

"[color 33ec06]Relax Angel. I'm [i]joking[/i] again. I do that frequently; you really gotta keep up.[/color]" Marcus said, trying to relieve her fears by shooting her a devious grin. "[color 33ec06]I know you wouldn't be alright with Zip Zip Boi getting pushed around.[/color]"

The last comment left Marcus to think about it. Maybe he'd be more forgiving if Chris was an abberration; maybe he'd give him a excuse or the benefit of the doubt. But Chris was an arbiter, and Marcus knew damn well that the only thing he'd be fighting was his own thoughts. They didn't have the angry voice in their head telling them to do bad things that DaT talked about.

If Chris had made the decision to try and kill him, he'd done it of his own free will.

Marcus simply hummed in annoyance in response. The kid wasn't fighting anything but himself, and Marcus was not going to let Chris nearly fry him more than once. But that wasn't something that Angel needed to hear.

Angel only sighed uncomfortably . She really needed to learn about reading the mood. Just how many times she fucked up with Brent alone and slowly misunderstanding the others as well. 
 
Growing silent and clearly hesitant about something, Angélique barreled her way through her mental barrier to come up with a subject that she had talked about so much these past weeks but still felt very uneasy speaking of it.
 
[color=9e0039]“Marcus. I… I’m sorry for what happened at D.C. I made a poor decision, and you guys suffered for it. It wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t use my power to back them off.”[/color] There was another uncomfortable silence as Angel tried to come up with a proper apology. [color=9e0039]“I’m sorry to have tarnished your reputation and everything you stood for. We’re lucky whoever leaked those footage clearly wanted to benefit us, but still… what I did was unforgivable and I don’t deserve to be seen as a redeeming hero.”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]Angel, I'm going to stop you there.[/color]" Marcus said, turning back to talk to her directly. "[color 33ec06]Pretty much [i]all[/i] of us made some pretty bad decisions back there. I don't want to hear all the what if's and could have been's. We made mistakes. Most of us did. I was there. I know.[/color]"

He sighed to himself, before continuing. "[color 33ec06]I just want to put the whole DC incident out of my head. If it's forgotten to the media, then I'm perfectly willing to not think about it again. I don't think any of us are heroes; we're just kids; but if that's what the people want to call us, deserve it or not, I don't exactly think we have a say in the matter.[/color]"

Surprisingly enough, perhaps for the first time ever since she spoke of that matter to anyone, Angel did not prod the matter any further. Those words were the same pretty much everyone kept telling her. Maybe it was true that they all did a mistake, even if Angélique believed herself to be the spark that made the whole thing explodes. If Marcus wanted to put that event behind him no matter what happened or how people thought of them, then perhaps it was for the best. Less painful than keep dwelling about it.
 
She just hoped it wasn’t simply denial and push that wound into some forgotten depths to fester. The last thing she wanted to have is one of her friends slowly falling into an abyss.
 
[color=9e0039]“Yeah… but still… it was a mistake that took a lot of lives. I just can’t personally dismiss that moment behind me that easily. I keep making the same mistake, even if I try my damnest  not to… just like that time before…”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]Let me ask you this: did you [i]intend[/i] to hurt all those people at your concert? And were you aware that Siena would accidentally drop the cars she was trying to levitate? Did you push the people out of the way because you wanted them in place, or because you were trying to keep them out of harm's way?[/color]"

Angel’s hands crisped on the steering wheel of the car. It was less of the whole ‘did you do it intentionally’ and more of the ‘Siena accidentally dropped the cars’.
 
[color=9e0039]“She… accidentally dropped them?”[/color] Angel’s voice was faint, as if suddenly all the blame she took onto herself had multiplied itself.

Marcus took a moment to think over the situation, before speaking up again. "[color 33ec06]I mean...I [i]assume[/i] as much. I highly doubt that she would have done that kind of thing on purpose. Her power relies on focus, and there was a lot of shit going on at the time.[/color]"

Angel’s jaws clenched at the explanation. She had been ready to shoulder all the blame, but deep inside her heart there were doubts about the nature of those ‘mistakes’ Siena had told her. All this time, she thought the Arbiter may have had come to resolve herself to drop the cars on people to prevent them from attacking.
 
But the fallen rockstar’s perception of this reality shattered. She was now the one to blame for having these people killed underneath the cars. For a moment, she felt like screaming. But not in front of Marcus. She had to remain strong. She couldn’t let him see her mind falter like that. 
 
Through clenched teeth and eyes hidden by her shades, it was difficult discerning whether Angel’s face shown she was either about to burst in anger or crying. [color=9e0039]“I-I… I lost control. I wanted them to stop… I shouted them to stop… but they didn’t listen… my mind wanted to tear them apart… but I didn’t want to.”[/color] Angel’s voice was shaking, her will slowly leaking all of the ugly truth behind what happened. 
 
[color=9e0039]“I… it was too much to bear. The screaming voices… they wouldn’t stop. So I… I screamed. To protect everyone… and myself… to silence them…”[/color] a familiar warmth started falling down on her cheeks.

He'd said something wrong. He had no idea what it was, but he'd said something terribly wrong. The point he had been trying to make was spiraling out of his grasp very quickly.

"[color 33ec06]Hey...[/color]" Marcus started, his voice soft, much like it had been when she'd told him about her concert. "[color 33ec06]I can't claim to know what happened there. I can't claim to know what your stigma does to you, and a certainly can't claim to know the extent of what you can do. But I think I can at least claim that I know a little bit about you, and I don't think any of this was your fault.[/color]"

"[color 33ec06]You did your best to protect us, and what happened...there were a lot of people in the wrog place at the wrong time. A cruel twist of fate. But none of it was [i]your[/i] doing. It was all a terrible accident.[/color]"

'[i][color 33ec06]And I wish there was some way I could stop all these accidents from happening to [b]you[/b].[/color][/i]'

[color=9e0039]“E-Even if they’re accidents… it’s still my fault… all because I keep losing control… and I’m a complete dumbfuck. Siena must be blaming herself for killing these people. I… I can’t fucking forgive myself for having her go through that.”[/color]
 
Angel remained silent, sniffing as she wiped the wet trail from one of her cheeks, trying her best to focus on the road and remain steady. [color=9e0039]“I-It’s a hard thing to deal with. I’d rather have it… happen to me than any of you.”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]No, listen. You're missing the point. Accidents aren't [i]anybody's[/i] fault. None of us could have predicted what would have happened at the Evac site, just like you couldn't have predicted what happened at the concert. Neither of those were you losing control.[/color]"

He searched her face up and down, looking for his own words in her expression. "[color 33ec06]No matter how hard it is, it wasn't your fault. I believe that. And whatever you're going through; don't try to take the burden for yourself. Especially not when you've got friends around to make you feel better.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]“I… I don’t know anymore… “[/color] was all she could answer, uncertainty plagued her mind as she realized that her loss of control had way more impact on the others than she tried to make herself believe. 
 
[color=9e0039]“I just want to stop hurting others… I should turn myself in and get collared like Hazel. I’m just a public danger as it goes on…”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]Hazel literally freaks out and starts attacking [i]everything[/i]. You keep ending up on the wrong side of things. I think there's a little bit of a difference there.[/color]" Marcus said, a slight hint of irritation creeping into his voice. "[color 33ec06]And I don't think you're the public menace you think you are. You're trying to help, and that's all that matters.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]“Maybe Marcus… but that won’t help if I keep losing it.”[/color] Angel wiped her tears again, her voice becoming steadier as Marcus kept trying to convince her she wasn’t the monster she was making herself be.
 
[color=9e0039]“I need help. I have to find someone, or something, to hold me back. Someone with powers like Lawrence’s. Taze me when I’m about to go mad. Something that can hold my screams back until it becomes a necessity to use. I have other powers aside that goddamn Banshee scream. I should be used as support instead of offensive.”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]I really wish I could say I know what I'm about to start talking about, but I have literally no idea. But it seems to me like losing it is a problem that a lot of abes seem to have. Hell, you could say a few arbs have that problem too...[/color]"

With any luck, she'd think he was talking about Chris still, and not his own fumble at DC.

"[color 33ec06]...but you've got the stigma. Prove to yourself that you're bigger than it. Prove to yourself that you're not the monster you think you are. You don't need mind control powers or tazer bracelets to be a better person, you just need to prove that you're bigger than yourself.[/color]"

[color=9e0039]“Just how I wish it could be true…”[/color] Angel muttered, clearly looking defeated. [color=9e0039]“I tried so hard. Everytime. I always thought I could be better than this damn curse. I’ve been working hard on improving myself ever since the concert. Even Brent believed in me. But each fucking time, I end up messing it up and losing myself. I… I fucking let Brent down. I’m a huge let-down. A disappointment. A failure…”[/color]

Marcus was contemplating the things Angel said. Sure she'd lost herself, but in all fairness...he'd done something he wasn't exactly happy with either. Something he could bring up to try and make Angel feel better, at least show that he could empathize with her, but that would require him being willing to face his own mistakes to help a classmate with theirs.

Damn it, he couldn't tell Angel to be a better person if he wasn't willing to face his faults and do the same.

"[color 33ec06]Alright. You lost yourself. You freaked out in the middle of a bad situation. Believe me when I say that out of all the people you could talk to, I understand your situation the most. I [i]killed[/i] a man back there, Angel. I looked him in the eye and ended his life.[/color]"

There was a simmering anger in Marcus's eyes as he spoke, which quickly started to boil down to silent resignation.

"[color 33ec06]So yeah. It happens to the best of us. You're not a monster any more than I am.[/color]"

There was another long pause before Marcus spoke up again, trying to insert his trademarked-style leivety. "[color 33ec06]Besides, who needs Brent's approval? Zip zip boi believes in you; that should count for like, quadrupal.[/color]

[color=9e0039]“I just wish that it didn’t had to come down to this… Emma prob-… “[/color] Angel cut herself short, remembering that Marcus didn’t wanted to hear about ‘what ifs and what could’ve been’. [color=9e0039]“I… I’m sorry you had to take this decision…”[/color]
 
While she would have loved to dispel this frown and laugh at Marcus’ comment, she was just barely able to have her face turn into a neutral expression, her gaze loosely focused on the road ahead. 
 
[color=9e0039]“Thanks… but don’t put too much hope in me. All I’ve managed to do was stomping on those recently…”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]Don't be sorry...[/color]

[i][color 33ec06]I'm certainly not.[/color][/i]

"[color 33ec06]Besides, I consider you one of my friends. Which means that you have to live with my hope and trust until the day one of us finally manages to get ourselves killed.[/color]" There was a macabre humor to his statement; joking about a situation that could be right around the corner, and all of them knew it.

How else were you supposed to deal with a situation like that?

[color=9e0039]“Please don’t say that… I don’t want to live another loss ever again.”[/color]
 
That kind of humor really grew down on the musician Aberration. It really wasn’t a subject she’d want to get into any time soon. It was already tough dealing with the deaths [i]she[/i] caused, there was no need to add up on the friends she lost on the battlefield.

[hr]

The drive back to the mansion was dreadfully silent. Angélique had no mood to talk and Marcus clearly felt the situation quite inappropriate to crack jokes, or at least he tried in vain to make Angel smile and laugh. This talk clearly had brought a dark looming cloud above the two of them. But at the very least, they understood each other. It was simply that they did not have the heart for plaisantries after that talk.

Back inside the garage just as it began to be dark outside, Angel finally glanced at Marcus for the first time ever since they had been on the road. She was appologetic and sorrowful. [color=9e0039]"Marcus... I'm sorry if I ruined our ride with that talk. Sometimes I really should keep my mouth shut and keep these things to myself..."[/color]

"[color 33ec06]You keep apologizing when there's no need for it.[/color]" Marcus said, breaking his own silence and scenery watching to turn to Angel and put his hand up to stop her talking. "[color 33ec06]You...[i]may[/i] have harshed the mellow a little bit, but that's fine. These kind of things need to be said. Weights off our chests and everything.[/color]"

He paused for a moment, raking through his brain - it sure seemed like he was about to repeat himself a lot.

"[color 33ec06]Remember what I said last time we had a heartfelt talk? 'You're a human being, something about making mistakes, gotta accept that it's gonna happen'. Plus, I seem to recall there being a part where I told you it's hard to move past these things without a little help. I learned that lesson a long time ago, and I'm trying my damnedest to show you that there are people who care about you. So don't think hiding these things is better for yourself or the people around you. It's better to let off some steam than to bottle it up and blow later.[/color]"

His mind flicked back to a bathroom in Wisford. 

'[i][color 33ec06]Can't stand the taste of your own medicine, can you?[/color][/i]'

[color=9e0039]“I… I’m sorr- huh... You know, Canadians are their apologies.”[/color] Angel forced a chuckle out of her gloomy expression. The cold evening air sure started giving her the chills on her bikini-clad body. As an attempt to warm her body against the sudden chill, she crossed her arms right below her chest. October really had come that quickly.
 
[color=9e0039]“T-thanks… for being here for me. It means a lot to me.”[/color] there was always this sick sense of relief to know that despite what she did, someone was still looking out for her, no matter how she was undeserving. The least she could do to repay their kindness was to be there for them, an Angélique clearly thought that Marcus may have had some skeletons in his closet, especially with the recent killing. [color=9e0039]“Just… remember it works both way, okay? If you need to talk, I’ll always be there to listen.”[/color]

"[color 33ec06]Yeah, I know.[/color]" Marcus said, giving his best pokerface to Angel's remark. Sometimes you just had to let things sit and ferment before you could talk about them. Or, as was his case, never talk about them, and hope that everything fades into the back of your mind; lost to the march of history.

"[color 33ec06]Now go inside and put some actual clothes on, you maniac.[/color]" Marcus said, quickly changing the subject. "[color 33ec06]It's nearly winter, and you're gonna catch pnuemonia like [i]that[/i].[/color]"

[color=9e0039]"Y-yeah... I'll do that."[/color] Angel agreed to that idea as she opened the door of the Dodge Charger and placed the keys onto the rack at the entrance. She turned back to Marcus, giving him a faint smile. [color=9e0039]"Thanks again, Marcus. You're... a good friend."[/color]

"[color 33ec06]I try. It's the least I can do to pull my weight around here, since my jokes only seem to be making people [i]more[/i] depressed.[/color]" Marcus said, with a nonchalant shrug.

He looked at Angel once, and her almost puppy looking pathetic attempt at a real smile, before he opened his arms and sighed. "[color 33ec06]Do you need another hug? Because you look like you need another hug.[/color]"

Hugs really started to feel like a flame to her mothly self. A source of heat she liked to lost herself in. She was tentative at first, feeling a bit undeserving to be holding someone in her arms like that, but so far the therapeutical effects of those close-encounters had begun being something she thrived on. 

[color=9e0039]"I... guess I can't say no if you are asking."[/color] Angélique said as she walked up to Marcus and embraced him softly. It did feel good, that warmth on her cold skin.  The warmth of another human being there for her. A warmth she though was lost to her ever since that incident two months ago.

"[color 33ec06]Alright, getoffa me.[/color]" Marcus said, trying not to make his uncomfortableness with the whole situation obvious to Angel, lest he ruin the feels-good moment they were having. She was barely wearing anything, and now she was wrapping herself around him; the poor boy was still [i]human[/i]. All it took was one wrong move or one random passerby, and he'd be in deep shit.

"[color 33ec06]You're gonna give [i]me[/i] pnuemonia if you already have it. That's how outbreaks start.[/color]" Marcus joked.

Angel groaned, finding the embrace slightly too short for her liking. [color=9e0039]"Aww, don't worry about that. We northerners are good with dealing with that sort of thing. Anyways..."[/color] She back away from the Arbiter, seeming slightly happier than before. "I guess I should go wash the salt from seawater off me before returning to my room.  So... I guess I'll see you around then?"

Angel stepped to the doorstep leadingto the mansion, stopping short and turning back to her trustworthy friend. [color=9e0039]"Good night, Marcus. Thank you."[/color]
[/hider]

[hider=Chapter X: Counselling]
[center]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/OiIXHEg.png[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/n1b6iEd.png[/img]
[h2][color=9e0039]Angélique[/color] | [color=00ffbb]Lawrence[/color][/h2]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img][hr][color=silver]𝕆𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝟞, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕   / /   ℤ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘'𝕤 𝔼𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖   / /  𝟙𝟘𝟘𝟘  [/color][hr]
[sub]Collab with [@Snagglepuss89][/sub]
[/center]

After two weeks exploring the island, Angélique had pretty much seen everything that it had to offer, and the thrill of the escapade sort of faded after this long. Instead, the fallen rockstar would either spend today training with the hunting supplies provided next to the shooting range, training with her powers or improve on some personal skills. 
 
Today was a day spent to meditate on herself, reflect about the thing she had done, try to rebuild some resolve to make things for the better and make her mind on some choices that were left open. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t trust in herself, for she had yet to find a way to properly fight the urges that the Stigma pushed on her. She had to find alternatives to fight it, 
 
For a moment, her mind drifted to Lawrence. The man had a reputation to actually calm Aberrations back in USARILN. Maybe he could help her too? But was he willing to, after what she had done? Wouldn’t that just give him more motivation to do so?
 
There was hesitation, even if Angel wanted to get every little help she could gather to solve her problems. She felt at odds with the idea of someone toying with her mind. Plus, it felt like she genuinely wanted to use him. She didn’t like that idea. Lawrence was a fellow classmate. She couldn’t just walk up to him and ask to use his powers on her out of the blue like that.
 
Maybe it was for the best to consult him about the matter, instead of jumping to conclusions? That seemed like a good idea. They had spoken to each other before. It’s not like they were complete strangers to each other. Actually get some news from him even. He had shut himself in recently. Angel wondered if he was alright and needed some time alone to think. Having experienced the taste of death twice might have shocked him.
 
Finally resolute, Angel decided that she’d go see the Arbiter not only as someone who needs help, but as a friend. She needed to have a talk with him. Maybe he’ll be able to guide her.
 
Her feet soon carried her in front of Lawrence’s doorstep, knocking on it thrice.

Lawrence, for his part, was trying to recover after the socially draining beach party the day before. He wasn't exactly used to hanging around so many people for such a long period, and recharging his batteries had won out against boredom so far that day. The smell of cigarette smoke hung lightly in the air, and an ash tray held the buds of a couple that had already been snuffed out. He still wasn't used to the practice, but the unpleasantness had decreased drastically over the days since picking up the habit.

Lizzy was nowhere to be found, having left to go wandering as she usually did. No doubt stalking the local establishments for scraps of food that had been thrown out, or baiting some sympathetic sucker into giving her a meal for free. As such, he had no warning of Angel's approach until she began knocking, ripping him out of rereading [i][u]Meditations[/u][/i] yet again. Somehow the book had lost a bit of its luster, and he'd been spending the better part of the day trying to find it again.

With a bit of a sigh he got up off the bed and tossed the book behind him, refastening the top buttons of his shirt as he walked over to the door, wondering at who his first visitor since arriving on the island was.

“[color=00ffbb]Angel.[/color]”

He didn't sound surprised, and truthfully he wasn't. Perhaps if it had been Chris or one of the others he hadn't had much chance to interact with the Arbiter would have been taken at least a little more off guard, but Angel was social. More importantly, a talk between them was inevitable, given everything that had happened. May as well be today that it took place, and she probably felt the same way.

“[color=00ffbb]Make yourself at home.[/color]”

With that he stepped out of the door way and nodded towards the inside of the room., which had been virtually untouched from how he'd first arrived, much the same as his room at USARILN East. Except, of course, from the bedsheets that had shown signs of his earlier reading, and bits of dog hair from Lizzy's inevitable shedding.

Angel would lie to herself if she’d believe she wasn’t the slightest anxious. Lawrence extremely calm and disciplined aura did had a somewhat oppressive effect on the young woman. It was as if she was a kid going to the dentist and knowing full well that the doctor would tell her she did no good. But she needed to speak with him. She required his help.
 
[color=9e0039]“Lawrence. How… are you?”[/color]
 
Doing as she instructed, Angel stepped inside the room hesitantly, looking around the neatly-maintained scenery before taking a seat on his bed. She was a bit uncomfortable sitting there in silence, especially after finally getting to speak with someone she should have been visiting earlier.
 
[color=9e0039]“I meant to visit your earlier… but lots of things happened, you can figure.”[/color]

With a dismissive wave he ignored her second comment entirely. She'd chosen her reasons for not visiting, whatever they were. Knowing [i]why[/i] wouldn't change the past any, at this point he preferred to move on. The beach had shown him that he had at least been partly wrong about people not giving a shit. With an added shrug he made his way over to the couch and sprawled out on it, clearly intending to relax as much as possible through this meeting.

“[color=00ffbb]I've been doing all right, trying to get out more since my recovery- except for today. Parties kind of wear me out.[/color]”

At the mention of 'recovery' Lawrence's hand found its way into his shirt as it so often did these days when talking about Wisford. He was in no real rush at the moment to bring up the inevitable, but at the same time small talk wasn't exactly in his nature either. Still, they could get to what [i]he[/i] wanted to talk about later, for now...

“[color=00ffbb]So what brings you here now then? I... don't think this is a social call considering we just saw each other at the beach.[/color]”

[color=9e0039]“Can’t a girl visit a classmate without backthoughts?”[/color] Angélique remarked, slightly offset by Lawrence’s dismissive nature. [color=9e0039]“No, you're right. Well… partly. As much as I’d like to ask about how you were doing for the past weeks and why we didn’t see much of you, I…” [/color]
 
She paused, taking a deep breath as to push away that ever-growing anxiety she felt ever since she mustered the courage to walk up to find Lawrence. [color=9e0039]“I need your help. Back at the institute, I heard you had quite the reputation for helping X’s like me. I… want to know what I should do, Lawrence. What are my options? You know what the hell I did back in Washington. I don’t want something like that to happen ever again.”[/color]

“[color=00ffbb]Ah.[/color]”

So their goals were in line after all, at least mostly. It was a tough situation to be in though, sure he could use his powers to lessen the effect of her stigma, but it's not like he could do it for the entire team at all times. There were too many Aberrations for that who were far too spread out. He was fine being a last resort, but he didn't want to be a crutch. Still, what else could he tell her? 

“[color=00ffbb]There... aren't many options exactly Angel. I can help, sure, if you're close enough by me and I get enough warning throw my power onto you. It [i]does[/i] help keep someone's stigma in check, or at least the... emotional effects from it. There's no real permanent solution or training that can be done to help it though. Maybe there's some sort of practice you can try with controlling it before we're deployed again, but that's a dangerous game to play no matter where you are.[/color]”

With a sigh he added;

“[color=00ffbb]Most people just use my power to calm down enough that they can make it to Ground Zero without doing anything stupid.[/color]”

[color=9e0039]"I see..."[/color]

It was quite disheartening to know that even Lawrence did not have much answers to offer her. There really was no alternatives left for her?

[color=9e0039]"I know I can't always rely on you, or on others' powers for that matter. Still, I have to find alternatives. People willing to knock me out when I lose it, or tools to prevent me from using my powers when I go into those mindsets."[/color]

She was uncomfortable talking about these dire alternatives, but it needed to be considered. Before going through with those requests, she wanted a second advice.

[color=9e0039]"But will that help? Is it really the best way to keep me from losing control?"[/color]

There was a small pause as the Aberration thought about one thing he said, curiosity striking her. 

[color=9e0039]"What do you mean, 'controlling it'?"[/color]

“[color=00ffbb]Well...[/color]”

He began, trying to think of how to best word his thoughts.

“[color=00ffbb]It's not like you can reduce how you feel when your stigma is acting up. However, you can still try to direct that sort of thing different. I'm an Arbiter- I can't ever speak with any certainty about Stigmas- but say...[/color]”

After another pause he continued;

“[color=00ffbb]Take an insomniac. They never sleep, but still they go to work and function throughout the day. Some people might say 'Man, that guy is never tired no matter how long he's awake', but in reality that guy feels like shit constantly, just like someone else who doesn't sleep. The only difference is he's learned how to function in spite of it. So, maybe you can't reduce the effects of the stigma, but you can learn to redirect or control your actions while its flaring up- at least to the degree that what happened before never repeats itself. Otherwise...[/color]”

Again he paused, trying to word the next bits as gently as possible;

“[color=00ffbb]I don't have anything against you Angel, but what do you think USARILN is going to do if one of their own students is killing as many people as who she's being sent out to stop? This isn't just about morals, but for your own sake we need to come up with something.[/color]”

Whether Lawrence knew about her sleeping habits or not, Angélique felt herself compelled from his example. Indeed, she had issues sleeping at night, considering all of her nightmares dissuaded her most times from turning in for the night. Still, she kept herself awake every day, continuing on with her training routine, doing activities nonetheless. And she truly felt like shit, her patience and mind eroded in time, but she fought on against the fatigue.

[color=9e0039]"I... I know. I actually had a confrontation with your roommate, Emma, about Hazel's loss of control. I told her we had to do something about it, else she'd just end up locked away or killed by the institute... Ironic, that I had a fight with her about it, but right now I'm the one I consider to be a public danger." [/color]

Another uneasy pause, realizing just how close her situation to Hazel was.

[color=9e0039]"It's not just about me. It's about the others too. I don't want you guys to continue suffering the consequences of my actions. So many of our team feel responsible because they either made bad decisions themselves in reaction to the mob, lost control too or didn't stop me. But let's face it Lawrence, if I hadn't attacked first, nobody would have had gone through this hell."[/color]

“[color=00ffbb]I agree, ultimately you're the first line of defense against yourself. Anything the rest of us can do in reaction is secondary.[/color]”

He, of course, had no real knowledge of whatever confrontation she was talking about, even with Hazel's position as his roommate. From what he could tell by talking to the odd girl though, losing control was not something that was entirely productive to blame her for. There wasn't much use in bringing up a problem if you weren't prepared to try and contribute a solution to it.

“[color=00ffbb]I know she has some sort of medication that she takes. Not that I advocate using drugs you know nothing about willy-nilly, but I wonder if there's a way USARILN can modify them as a sort of stop-gap measure against you guys losing control. Something you can take before that stigma makes you go completely nuts.[/color]”

It felt strangely comfortable, for Angel, to be talking of this issue with Lawrence, as she kept listening to his advices. He didn’t appear afraid to tackle on the main problems of the situation they had found themselves facing with in Washington. He wasn’t outright calling her out with insults and callous remarks; questioning her resolve; trying to shift the blame somewhere else; telling her it wasn’t entirely her fault; saying that everyone makes mistakes. Just a guy who listened to her problems, took them at face value, agreed to her views of the whole issue and proposed ways to deal with it. Honestly, it was probably the thing that Angélique needed the most right now to become a better person. No promises solely based on faith and ideals. No hopes and dreams. Simply hard truths and facts.
 
[color=9e0039]“Actually…”[/color] Angel’s hand unconsciously reached to her naked throat, her X-mark now exposed compared to previously where a leather collar used to hide it. [color=9e0039]“Hazel has this weird collar. I don’t know exactly what it does, but she only told me it was putting her to sleep when she was being too violent.”[/color]
 
The Aberration rubbed softly her neck, remembering the discussion she had with the odd girl about that collar, which ended in Hazel freeing Angel from the weight of her own mundane and yet symbolic choker.
 
[color=9e0039]“I don’t like the whole idea of being shackled like this but… if we’re stuck with a cuff that spies on our every move and tazes us whenever we get too rowdy, is it going to be worse wearing a collar that will be putting me to sleep whenever I lose control? That… actually sounds like a surefire way to prevent those kinds of situations from happening. Why aren’t all Aberrations outfitted with those in the first place?”[/color]

Lawrence simply shrugged in response. Even with an entire year more of USARILN East under his belt, he had little insight into some of the plans and decisions the insitution made.

“[color=00ffbb]No clue, but I wouldn't exactly want to see everybody shackled with those kinds of things anyway. I mean, if you want to volunteer I won't try to stop you, but I was hoping for more of a... temporary solution when those kinds of problems pop up.[/color]”

Running a hand through his hair, Lawrence let out a sigh. There certainly wasn't an [i]easy[/i] solution to keeping Aberrations under control, at least to the point where murdering civilians was an unlikely outcome to their stigmas flaring up. Then again, if there had been such a solution readily available it's like USARILN East would have thought of it long before he did.

“[color=00ffbb]Somehow I don't think we're going to find a game changing solution while hanging out in my room.[/color]”

Angélique's head leaned to one side, a slight questionning look crossing her face as she listened to his last statement [color=9e0039]"Do you have something else in mind?"[/color] 

She was there to consult him after all. She was curious to know if he had alternatives to suggest himself, instead of listening to what she had to propose.

With a shake of his head, he replied;

“[color=00ffbb]Nah, and that's my point. I don't have anything in mind right now. Doesn't mean I've given up on trying to find some kind of solution though- Guess for now I'll just have to try my best to keep an eye on all of you while we're out in the field.[/color]”

For a slight moment, the black-haired Aberration looked disappointed, but her expression quickly returned to something more neutral. Maybe she was asking too much of him right now. He surely didn't have all the answers, and she sure didn't either. Up to them both to figure it out, it would seem. 

[color=9e0039]"Yeah... about that..."[/color] Angel scratched her head, obviously uncomfortable with the subject, [color=9e0039]"I... I don't really like the idea of someone manipulating my... you know. But, if it's to make sure I stay in control, I'd appreciate it if you make sure I don't make stupid mistake. If it happens we're paired together and..." [/color]

Goddamnit, why was it so hard to just say it plainly, instead of taking detours? 

[color=9e0039]"Lawrence,"[/color] her face took on a more serious and pleading expression [color=9e0039]don't hesitate to use your powers on me, please? Whenever I'm losing it, or simply for precaution. I'm okay with it."[/color] Angélique said with forceful determination after gathering her wits.

“[color=00ffbb]Yeah, loud and clear Angel. I don't exactly like screwing with peoples' minds either, but it doesn't look like that's something we can avoid right now. Especially considering everything that's already happened- and not just with you. Half of this team seems to have a bit more bloodlust than they can handle and keeping that in check is going to be one of my bigger priorities going forward.[/color]”

Folding his hands behind his head and sinking into the couch, Lawrence continued with;

“[color=00ffbb]For now though we have the chance to unwind. When we get back to USARILN we can focus on the heavy stuff like training.[/color]”

[color=9e0039]"Yeah..."[/color] Angel replied, thoughtful. She was already training so hard throughout the weeks spent here, but all she managed to find out was new applications to her powers. She wasn't willing to sit with her thumbs up her bum and wait for the visions to suddenly grant her more powers. She had been given control and precision before. It was a matter of properly applying that precision, if power wasn't something she'd gain any more. 

Now that the subject of finding solutions about keeping control over herself, Angel figured that while she was here, she might as well talk about the Arbiter insteaf of herself for once.

[color=9e0039]"I haven't seen much of you in the past few weeks. What have you been up to until recently?"[/color] Perhaps a bit too direct. There were a lot of people she hadn't seen much over the weeks, as if they weren't existing much outside of their rooms.

Lawrence shook his head in response.

“[color=00ffbb]Me? Spending far too much time moping around alone mostly. Nothing productive, that's for sure.[/color]”

Wow... that was quite the loaded answer. She really didn't expected him to reply that directly to her direct question.

[color=9e0039]"Oh... uh... what do you usually do? Don't like hanging around people? Not that we are giving good reasons to either."[/color] Angel chuckled bitterly at the last comment. Yeah, who would like to befriend fucked up classmates turning out to be murderers?

“[color=00ffbb]Not really, no. I've tried getting better there, but you can only do so much. Most of my time is spent in the library waiting for Abes to come by asking me to use my power on them. Otherwise I might walk around town with that damn dog while she sniffs out someplace she wants to eat.[/color]”

It was the simple truth, Lawrence lived as boring a life as someone in his position possibly could, and he didn't mind it one bit. A quiet night sipping coffee while flipping through a history book was a million times more appealing than getting smashed and probably pissing someone off in the process. He'd never needed much for company, even in his life before USARILN, and Lizzy took care of his few social needs before Emma and Hazel moved into his dorm.

“[color=00ffbb]A quiet life is pretty nice if you can manage it.[/color]”

[color=9e0039]"I see..."[/color] 

Completely opposite to herself, Angélique figured. Throughout her life she chased after fame and recognition. Running from one side of the country to the other for pleasing fans with her music and constantly seeking out true friends. Ironically, pepple she'd truly call friends, and found herself a lover, would be here, when she was convinced life at USARILN to be the bottom of her existence.

[color=9e0039]"I... suppose if it makes you happy, there's not really a problem about it, right?"[/color] She couldn't judge other people's way of finding ways to make them comfortable, even if she wasn't totally agreeing with that. But for a social butterfly like herself, being alone evoked loneliness. Being lonely was something she wasn't able to live with.

[color=9e0039]"I don't know if I'd be able to though. So many people to meet. So much to learn about them. So much bonds to be made. I don't know how you do it."[/color] 

“[color=00ffbb]You just kinda fumble through it until you land on something that works. I'm not exactly anybody's best friend, I'm just good at not making enemies.[/color]”

Looking outside, Lawrence noted the position of the sun and let out a sigh. Lizzy had been gone for awhile at this point, and he wasn't entirely sure she hadn't disturbed the wrong local and gotten herself into a bind. Sometimes the dog was a royal pain in the ass, but he was still attached to her, whether willingly or not. With a sigh, he got off the couch and stretched, offering an almost apologetic shrug to Angel as he did so.

“[color=00ffbb]I should probably go hunt that damned dog I mentioned down- lord knows she's probably broken into a dozen fridges by this point. Did you have anything else on your mind?[/color]”

Following Lawrence's getting up from the couch, Angélique did so as well, giving him a faint smile at the mention of his dog. [color=9e0039]"Nah, that was pretty much all I wanted to discuss. Thank you for hearing me out. I needed someone to listen to what I was thinking of doing. Get a second from our very own doc, you know?"[/color] she chuckled slightly as she referred to him as their personnal psychiatrist.

Making her way to the door, Angel casted a glance followed by a grin towards Lawrence [color=9e0039]"Well, if you want to do anything and shake off that 'unproductive moping', give me a signal and we could figure something out, yeah? I'm an expert when it comes to group activities."[/color] 
[/hider]

[hider=Chapter XI: Challenges]
[center]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/OiIXHEg.png[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/ytozL8X.png[/img]
[h2][color=9e0039]Angélique[/color] | [color=palevioletred]Zoe[/color][/h2]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img][hr][color=silver]𝕆𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝟞, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕   / /   ℤ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘'𝕤 𝔼𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖   / /  𝟙𝟛𝟘𝟘  [/color][hr]
[sub]Collab with [@Lasrever][/sub]
[/center]

This morning, Angel’s jogging brought her into the forest. It was a nice change of scenery for once,  getting to explore the lush greenery all around her and lost herself into the sounds of nature. The wind brushing against the leaves, the birds singing, the… thumping of an animal against the bark of a tree? That wasn’t the sound of a woodpecker. 
 
Investigating the source of the noise against her better judgement, Angélique approached the scene and saw what it was all about. The grunts of a red-haired classmate hitting a tree with no punch held back. Zoe looked frenzied, lost deep in her rage as she mindlessly slammed her fists with all her might against wood. 
 
This scene frightened the raven-haired Aberration to the core. God, it looked just like herself when she was lost into the moment. Except that Zoe was using a tree instead of a punching bag… and Angel clearly didn’t work her hands until they bled this way. The sight of blood on Zoe’s knuckles raised an alarm in the older girl’s mind. So this was how Zoe was coping. The reason her knuckles were bandaged.
 
[color=9e0039]“Zoe!” [/color]Angel’s voice reached out to the redhead Mage, her voice tinged with a mix of worry and disapproval. [color=9e0039]“Goddamnit! I told you this wasn’t healthy!”[/color]

The interruption threw Zoe off, her final punch dragging across the bark in a motion that left her cuts ragged and torn. With a hiss of pain, she took a step back. Great. Angel of all people just [i]had[/i] to go exploring, didn't she?

Zoe had hoped no-one would find her doing this, really. Glancing down at her now opened fist as blood ran down her fingers, her reaction wasn't to grimace or wince at the pain. Instead, flicking the drops off of her hand, Zoe laughed lowly. [color=palevioletred]"Oh, I heard you. Doesn't mean I was listening."[/color] And there was a sick kind of pleasure in her voice as rivulets of dark blood trickled down in stark contrast to her pale skin.

But she hadn't wanted Angel - or anyone else - to find her like this. And there was a hint of something close to shame in the redhead's face as she called out. "You should go, Angel. Watching me won't do anything but upset you." Her eyes darted towards the blood-covered knife on the ground, frowning. [color=palevioletred][i]Shit[/i].[/color]

This wasn't right. None of them were meant to see how close she was to breaking, that was the rule. If Angel left, there wouldn't have to be a problem. Simple. Always so simple. Zoe was meant to be the unbreakable one. That was all they had to see. Everything else was just a whole load of irrelevant bullshit. [color=palevioletred]"Leave."[/color]

Angel frowned at the words. She knew Zoe was bullheaded and respected her tenacious attitude, but that didn't mean the older young woman was willing to let go of her friend and let her destroy herself like that.

[color=9e0039]No."[/color]
 
Doing the complete opposite of what Zoe told her, Angelique walked towards the girl, spotting the bloodied knife on the ground as she reached a much too close distance.
 
[color=9e0039]"We didn't have all this talk last time to have me just walk away and ignore you, Zoe. For fuck's sake if something is bothering you, talk to me."[/color]

Of course, it had to be one of her [i]friends[/i] that stumbled across her. Knowing Angel probably wouldn't just leave on her say-so, Zoe grimaced. [color=palevioletred]"If something was going to happen, it would have happened the first fifty times. There's nothing we need to talk about."[/color]

She turned back to the tree, her fist flying towards it once more - but this time, coated in black, it tore through it like it was barely substantial. As the tree fell away from them, Zoe turned back to Angel. [color=palevioletred]"See? Perfectly capable of handling myself, so nothing to worry about here. Thanks for the concern, but it's fine."[/color]

Yeah, she knew none of that was anything to do with Angel's point, but hoping against hope that a display of strength would be enough to quiet the singer's worries. Anything but explaining all of this. [color=palevioletred]"Just try not to think about it too much, alright?"[/color] Forcing a smile that couldn't cover up the exhaustion in her face or the hint of self-loathing that never quite left her expression.

[color=palevioletred][i]Never let them see you hurting.[/i][/color] A simple rule, and one she planned to follow.

Angélique was finding it very difficult to follow Zoe’s logic pattern, raising a disbelieving eyebrow to the whole destruction show. [color=9e0039]“I’m pretty sure your hands would have appreciated if you were doing that in the first place. You can destroy shit instead of destroying yourself, you know?” [/color]
 
As much of a miserable pile of self-hatred and pity Angel considered herself to be, she never understood to concept of hurting oneself. Maybe it was because she actually feared pain, or maybe it was just that she never believed that kind of crap. [color=9e0039]“What’s hurting yourself going to change? Punishing yourself for your past mistakes? Keeping yourself grounded in pain? I don’t believe in those stupid reasons. Nothing’s good going to come out of it. At worst, you’ll get blood poisoning and actually end up becoming less effective to protect those you care about.”[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"It's always the same. Pain. It's good."[/color] Zoe smiled softly, not turning towards Angel. How was she supposed to explain this to someone who didn't understand how the world operated? Didn't already know the importance of pain, how it centred you and reduced you to what you were at your core? [color=palevioletred]"It's the only thing that's constant - everything revolves around it. Change, control, resolve... It lets me know who I should be. I won't get that from melting a damn tree."[/color]

Finally, she turned around, meeting Angel's eyes with a gaze of mixed guilt and determination. [color=palevioletred]"Besides, you're wasting your breath. There's no danger. I'm not going to kill myself - I wouldn't be able to, in case you forgot."[/color] There was a hint of bitterness there, and Zoe knew throwing her suicide attempt at Angel was unfair, but it didn't stop the words coming out.

[color=palevioletred]"I've been weak. I've hurt all of you. It's not happening again, even if I have to tear myself apart to make that happen."[/color] Zoe wasn't like Angel; she wouldn't let herself wallow in self-pity when she could do something about it. [color=palevioletred]"What's important is I've got my resolve. I don't see why it matters how I'm doing it, or why I should give a single fuck whether you 'believe' in my reasons."[/color] Zoe was well aware that she was ignoring Angel's point, but this wasn't a discussion she wanted to have.

Angel stood silent, taking time to assimilate Zoe's words. God, it was all fucked up. Why did everyone have to thrive on pain and self-destruction to better themselves? Was it all that was needed to find resolve in their situation? Was the mental pain not enough to carry on?
 
Angel kneeled, picking the bloodied knife laid on the ground. As she stood up, she kept staring at the crimson fluids staining the sharp edge. [color=9e0039]"I'm... just sick of it all. See the people I care hurting themselves like that. Why do you need to add physical scars on top of the ones you already bear in your head?"[/color]
 
Angelique paused, her shades-covered eyes returning Zoe's gaze. [color=9e0039]"I don't believe you. If you really didn't care what the others think and seclude yourself from the world, you wouldn't be tormenting yourself the way you do in your sleep."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"What the hell are you talking about?"[/color]

The road trip. The singing. How she'd gone out of her way to make Zoe feel comfortable. Had that all been because Angel got a free window into her head? [color=palevioletred]"[i]That[/i] isn't your business. I don't need you to psychoanalyse me,"[/color] there was white-hot fury undercutting Zoe's tone as her fists clenched by her side, [color=palevioletred]"and I definitely don't need - or [i]want[/i] - your pity. They're [i]dreams[/i], Angel. They've got nothing to do with the real world."[/color]

And yet despite her seeming confidence, it was clear that Zoe had been thrown off by Angel's comment. Of course she was - she genuinely didn't seem to know what the other girl was talking about. Whether Angel realised it or not, Zoe's muttering had revealed weaknesses that the redhead wouldn't even admit to herself.

[color=9e0039]"You and I both know those nightmares we keep getting every night are probably the most fucking truthful things about ourselves. The guilt, the shame, the worries and the grief, they are all fucking real, no matter how hard you deny it. Because when you dream, you aren't consciously defending yourself."[/color]
 
Defiant, Angel's voice had risen to meet against Zoe's anger, feeling herself be swept by her own inner fury, however channeling that vivid feeling into trying to make Zoe understand she wasn't here to annoy her, but to prove their friendship was true and that there was no need to go that far.
 
[color=9e0039]"I don't pity you, goddamnit! You told me I should keep caring, I told you I'll keep listening. I fucking care if you feel sad, happy or angered. It's not pity I feel, it's freaking empathy! Is it so wrong that I just want to be there as your friend and try to understand your pain instead of just leaving you to cope with it all by yourself?"[/color] 
 
Her grip on the knife had tightened, snakingly so. [color=9e0039]"Get that into your thick skull, Zoe. You are not alone anymore, so stop acting like a lone wolf. You want to act tough? I'm fine with it, and that's better than looking all emotional and weak like me. But don't go full denial on me when we told each other we'd be there for the other. Because we're friends, and we care. I know you care as much as I do."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"And then what?"[/color] Zoe laughed, bitter and defeated. [color=palevioletred]"When I said I wanted you to care, I didn't mean about me. Because, you know..."[/color]

A lunge forward took Zoe within touching distance of the other girl, her smile made disturbing by her dead-eyed expression. [color=palevioletred]"The last person that did that ended up in a body bag. A limbless, lifeless, husk. Three guesses how they ended up there. One, actually - you're not dumb."[/color] Her voice was carefully level. [color=palevioletred]"I've always been capable of killing. Fucked in the head. The Stigma just... redirects it."[/color] To people she cared about, who would never be hurt at all if she had her way.

[color=palevioletred]"So yes, Angel. I care about you. I care about a lot of you, and I wish I didn't."[/color]

And despite the way Zoe's eyes lit with pleasure at the thought, she didn't want Angel to join the pile of bodies she'd left behind. [color=palevioletred]"This isn't going to get better. I'm going to end up alone if we ever come out of this alive, and that's just how things have to be. Don't--"[/color] And finally, Zoe's composure cracked, her voice shaking for a brief second as desperation crept in. [color=palevioletred]"Don't make it harder than it already is. Pretending only makes things worse in the long run."[/color]

When Zoe lunged forward, Angel fumbled with the knife in her hands, in an attempt to bring the knife low purely as she feared the girl was going to end up taking the weapon by the blade. Accidentally, she slashed lightly the palm of her right hand, emancipating a slight wince of pain on her lips and a few rivulets of blood dripping from the wound.
 
[color=9e0039]"Then so be it. I knew the risks. You warned me. Still, here I am."[/color] It really dud felt as if she didn't care for her own life or was suicidal, facing Zoe like that despite knowing full well what she could do to her. Maybe it was a morbid resolve, or lack thereof, or even her love for people drove her to self-destruction.
 
[color=9e0039]"I..."[/color] Angel was at a loss. She only wished the best for Zoe, to help her out. But evidently, the girl was walking a path that was setting her up against her very own friends, whether it was because of this fucked up mentality or her Stigma. The decision was hard to make. Angélique always wanted to be close to her friends, but what if being that close actually hurt said friends than benefit them.
 
[color=9e0039]“I’m sorry if I’m being selfish. I just… always want to be by my friends’ side. Our world became such shit ever since we became Mages that I try so hard to make others feel good. Probably to help me feel better too… but I fail to see I’m cornering and even choking some with that same attitude.”[/color]
 
It was kind of a defeat for Angel to admit such a thing. She refused to give up on the others, no matter how much far down they were. But hearing Zoe’s desperation, it kind of brought her down from her insistence. She wasn’t doing Zoe any good by pushing her like that, and she was slowly realizing it now.

[color=palevioletred]"I just want you to understand what you're doing. Because--"[/color] Zoe tried to meet Angel's eyes. [color=palevioletred]"Listen. I really do consider you a friend, you know? I want to be able to care for you, and let you do the same for me. Wouldn't have bothered ever going after you if I didn't. But for that to happen, this,"[/color] Zoe raised a bloodied hand, glancing down at the ragged, torn flesh, [color=palevioletred]"is something I [i]need[/i] to do. If I'm not doing it to myself, I'm doing it to somebody else."[/color] And it wasn't for Zoe's sake that this point needed to be made.

It wasn't about protecting herself, was it? Wasn't about running away because she was such a piece of shit that she couldn't even fight against her own urges? Whatever her motivation was, Zoe figured it didn't matter. Because it was Angel's neck being risked here. Blue eyes glanced down towards the knife, to the fresh blood staining the blade.

[color=palevioletred][i]Blood for blood, huh?[/i][/color] Zoe frowned. [color=palevioletred][i]Don't follow me down, Angel.[/i][/color]

[color=palevioletred]"Angel, can I ask you something?"[/color] Zoe spoke quietly, as though the thought had just struck her. Perhaps it had. [color=palevioletred]"Do you believe in heroes?"[/color]

That question kind of brought back Angel to that time she had spoken with Allison about Good and Evil. Why had it been so easy to answer that everything was grey, while right now she was so damned focused on trying to crawl towards the ‘lighter’ side of the balance? She kept telling the others that she was willing to step into the darkness to do good, but Angel desperately tried to convince herself she had to be a good person.
 
[color=9e0039]“Truth is, I did…” Angel paused, looking back at her previous life. “You know what I was doing before, right? I wasn’t only a musician, at least that’s what I was thinking of myself. Maybe it was my inflated ego, but yes. I was believing in heroes. I thought I could become one too. If I had managed to gather so many fans, I thought that I could send a message. Make it be heard. Stop the machine of hatred.”[/color]
 
[color=9e0039]“For real, even if my dreams crumbled that day… I think I’m still trying to cling onto that concept. Why would I be running around, flapping my mouths about peace and love crap? But after all that happened, I’m not sure anymore if I believe into my own fantasies.”[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"You know, that doesn't surprise me, Angel."[/color] And that wasn't a bad thing, really. Angelique was just - for lack of a better word - predictable. [color=palevioletred]"I did too, once."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"Used to believe there'd be someone there to save the day."[/color] But Zoe frowned instead of smiling. There was no optimism in her face, no joy in the proclamation. [color=palevioletred]"When I was a kid, I'd spend so many hours bloodied up and bruised, coughing up my guts, hoping that some hero would come save me."[/color]

And there was a low chuckle. [color=palevioletred]"Never happened, funnily enough. Heroes are... you could say I think they're real. I just don't think they can do shit. They're the worst kind of people, because everything about them is a lie. The good guys don't win, the bad guys don't lose, and there's no such thing as a happy ending."[/color] Zoe smiled bitterly. [color=palevioletred]"Only way to beat the bad guys is to be worse than they are."[/color]

[color=palevioletred]"Heroes exist. But they don't make it to the end of the story."[/color] Zoe glanced down towards Angel's bloodied hand. [color=palevioletred]"You're like I used to be - you think everyone can be saved. They can't. I can't."[/color] With a smile, Zoe reached out with her power, one of the nearby trees beginning to rot away and topple. 

[color=palevioletred]"It's too late for me, and you need to accept it. If you still want to consider me a friend despite that... then I guess it's your decision."[/color] It was as close as the decay-wielding mage would ever get to backing down.

Angélique did not want to admit it, but Zoe was right. No matter how hard they tried, not everyone could be saved, either from themselves nor Mages and monsters alike. If heroes would be build one lies, then Angel, hell the whole evacuation group and Zoe alike, were the living proof of that. Behind their heroic footage, there lies an ugly truth that wasn’t shown to the world, and Angel realized it now more than ever.
 
[color=9e0039]“I… understand. But Zoe…  if I am what you were like back before you lost yourself and don’t want me to follow the path you took… “[/color] the raven-haired Aberration handed the bloody knife to her red-headed friend with her wounded hand. [color=9e0039]“I will find a way to become that someone else you could have been. A hero that can save herself and the others she care about.”[/color]
 
The older Aberration chuckled lightly, not sure if she did believe in her own foolishness. [color=9e0039]“It might just be a fool’s hope, but I’ll try. I’ll try and I’ll show you that it can be done. And that you’re wrong. And that you can still be brought back, even if you say you can’t be saved.”[/color] Angel offered the girl a half-assed grin that could pass for a challenge. [color=9e0039]“I’ll drag you out by force one day. Just you watch. Because I won't give up hope on you, no matter how hard you push me back.

"So yeah, I'll still consider you a friend nonetheless. But if you don't want me to be your friend and want me to abandon hope on you, then you might as well start considering me a rival.”[/color]

Zoe was silent for a long moment as she took the knife, looking at the red-covered blade. And then she laughed - a genuine, wholehearted, laugh. There was clearly something about this that she found funny, but for once her attitude wasn't cruel or mocking. [color=palevioletred]"You really are a stubborn bitch, you know that?"[/color] Coming from Zoe, that seemed to actually be a compliment. Leaning down, she wiped the blade clean before offering it to Angel, handle-first.

[color=palevioletred]"Tell you what. You wanna think of yourself as a rival, I'm gonna give you this thing."[/color] Zoe looked sincere, though her eyes were bright with amusement. Her smirk was more than confident enough to match Angel's, as she looked at her friend's expression with equal parts resolve and enthusiasm. [color=palevioletred]"Prove me wrong,"[/color] Zoe's tone took on a serious note, [color=palevioletred]"and the day you do, I'll ask for it back. Until then... consider it a reminder."[/color]

[color=9e0039]“Guess that makes us two then. How do you say it in English? Birds of a feather flock together?”[/color] Angel chuckled in reply to Zoe’s statement, finding her laughter eerily contagious. 
 
Looking at the knife returning to her, Angel took it gently away from Zoe’s hands, but with certain resolve in her eyes beyond the veil of her shades. One day, that knife will return to Zoe. 
 
[color=9e0039]“Thank you, Zoe. I accept this challenge.”[/color] Angel gave the girl another smirk, however more genuine than the half-assed smug grin she tried to muster earlier. [color=9e0039]“Guess I better start training to show you up, huh? Starting with those trees here.” [/color]
 
The Voice Mage stepped forwards for a few paces, facing the trees Zoe had started rotting off. With a deep breath, Angel let out a deep-toned shout, forcefully tearing the small branches and the leaves from the trees caught into her wide area of effect and pulverizing entirely the spots that had been rotten.
 
Funny, how it had become so easy for the young woman in her twenties to be letting out devastating and controlled screams, compared to those choked first attempts at screaming when both Zoe and Angélique had been training for the first time in Ground Zero. Just how much had things changed.

[color=palevioletred]"Show [i]me[/i] up? Now you're seriously dreaming."[/color]

Zoe watched Angel's display with a small grin. Couldn't fault the rockstar's determination, at least, even if she doubted the other aberration knew how much she was trying to achieve. 

Still, for now, Zoe settled on a small smile. [color=palevioletred][i]I hope you're right.[/i][/color] Because deep down, Zoe felt maybe that was what she needed - and trying to drag her back could keep Angel from falling further. It wasn't perfect, far from flawless, but it was a solution - the slightest chance at giving both of them a way out.

And for now, maybe that could be enough.
[/hider]

[hider=Chapter XII: Subnatural Life]
[center]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/OiIXHEg.png[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/55cuDim.jpg[/img]
[h2][color=9e0039]Angélique[/color] | [color=662d91]Kusari[/color][/h2]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/3R5vYYi.png?2[/img][hr][color=silver]𝕆𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝟞, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕   / /   ℤ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘'𝕤 𝔼𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖   / /  𝟚𝟙𝟘𝟘 [/color][hr]
[sub]Collab with [@Piercing Light][/sub]
[/center]

Today had been a short trip at the beach with one of the hellcats. After finishing blowing some trees down with Zoe in the afternoon, Angélique had left the forest to fix herself a lunch real quick before driving off for yet another roadtrip during the afternoon. She mostly kept to herself at the beach, walking in the sand and swimming in the sea. Lost in thought while she was drifting on the water’s surface, she realized that while she did not like thinking back about Washington, it was a moment of her life that would change her forever, just like her concert from a bit more than a month ago. Not only Angel, but her teammates too. As a matter of fact, each battle would change them, but this horrible day was by far the worse, for the mistake she had done had triggered an event that would probably have traumatized everyone in evacuation unit.
 
She owed each of them an apology for what they did. And eventually, her thoughts drifted to one of the girls with whom she still had not spoken to. The Aberration was uneasy about talking to the white-haired Arbiter, mostly cautious about her whole behavior. But a week ago, at the shooting range, Kusari had shown a side that Angel could only but wonder if the girl was the monster she appeared to be. She wasn’t cold, impassionate and mean like her previous appearances. She was just a classmate, laughing at their cheesy puns, praising the others of their skills and improving herself with the others. Then, the floating girl remembered once more about that time the both of them were holding that drinking contest. Sure, it was unfair and maybe even asshole-ish from Kusari to just keep going despite knowing she will never get drunk, but at that moment Angel didn’t really mind. She was just in a party animal mood to care. She just wanted another friend to drink with. 
 
So yeah, why not kill two birds with one stone? How about spending the evening with the girl, try to learn more about her and enjoy what little freedom they have right now, then apologize to her for what she dragged Kusari into? It seemed like a good plan for the evening. 
 
Eventually, Angélique returned to Zhang’s estate late in the evening, past dinner time. After getting dinner and showering the seawater from herself, Angélique slipped into more comfortable clothing as she made her way to the cellar, grabbing a few bottles of very fine taste Angel had the opportunity of trying before, plus a few new discoveries that might prove to taste good. She never liked much the raw taste of alcohol, preferring fruity-tasting wine and such over beer or strong liquor.
 
Filling the bucket with icy water and the bottles of wine, Angel made her way to Kusari’s room, knocking at her door and hoping she wasn’t disturbing whatever she was up to at this time of the evening.

Kusari had just finished putting on her pajamas when she heard a knock from her door. She couldn't think of anyone that would want to see her, not for anything important anyhow. She told Zoe to come to her if she needed help, but somehow she felt that promise would ring hollow to the girl. Letting out a yawn Kusari walked up to the door and swung it open. She squinted her eyes at Angel, then at the wine she was holding. Did she come here to drink with her? She didn't really like alcohol, and the stuff had no effect on her. She figured this was karma for tricking a poor innocent girl into a drinking contest she had no hope of winning.

[color=662d91]"Oh hey Angel, what's up? There a night party going on I don't know about?"[/color]

[color=9e0039]“I wish there was one. You know, get to finish what we started last time.” [/color] The Aberration answered with a chuckle. [color=9e0039]“No but really, I felt like drinking and talking tonight. We… didn’t get to know each other all that much, have we? Sounds like it might be the perfect time to do so, yeah?”[/color]

Kusari didn't quite understand, what was there to talk about? Was she just being friendly, with her? Kusari looked back into her room and ruffled her hair. She supposed she could just go along with it, Angel didn't seem annoying at least. [color=662d91]"Um, sure, just hang on a second."[/color] Kusari closed the door until it was barely ajar, and then went over to a dresser. On top of it was a small pile of sketches, sketches she really wasn't comfortable letting anyone see. She shoved the sketches into a drawer and opened her door again to let Angel inside.

Kusari sat on her bed with her legs crossed. [color=662d91]"So, was there anything specific you wanted to talk about?"[/color]

Angel joined Kusari into her room after the door opened fully, donning an enthusiastic smile, putting the bucket of ice over the night table. [color=9e0039]“Oh… to be fair… I didn’t really come here with a questionnaire already established in mind. You know, I just really like to talk and get to know everyone.”[/color] Angel giggled light-heartedly in response to Kusari’s question. Really, she was mostly here to know more about the girl, see if they could be on good terms, and drink with someone.
 
Retrieving one bottle of wine from the bucket, Angel took two wine glasses in one expert hand and poured the deep red liquid in the recipients before handing one to Kusari.[color=9e0039] “Actually, I have one now. What kind of drinks do you prefer? You’ll have to excuse me. I only brought stuff with the most fruitful flavors. I don’t like so much the taste of raw alcohol. I personally love sipping down sweetness and stuff like that. Hard liquor is ever used to really get smashed in parties.”[/color]

Kusari looked at the glass full of wine in her hand, swirling the liquid around. She knew she didn't like the stuff, but felt she should drink one glass at least. [color=662d91]"I don't actually like alcohol at all, and I can't get drunk even if I wanted to, which I wouldn't.
I guess that drinking challenge may have given everyone the wrong idea."[/color] She took a sip of the wine, and was reminded of her talk with Emma. [color=662d91]"Is wine in fashion or something? Emma brought me some too once..."[/color] She drank the rest of the wine and leaned against the headboard.

[color=662d91]"Since drinks aren't really my thing, why don't we talk about something else?... Are you interested in anyone?[/color] She asked suddenly.

[color=9e0039]"O-Oh… I’m sorry. I… didn’t know…" [/color]
 
It suddenly felt very awkward for Angel to have brought all that wine over. She couldn’t possibly drink all of it herself without being severely drunk, would she? Perhaps she’d finish the rest of it with Allison later tonight. “Emma too? I… feel for you, considering you don’t drink.”  A nervous laugh escaped Angel’s lips. [color=9e0039]“I… guess girls prefer wine over beer? I mean, that’s just my personal preference. Don’t know if it’s actually a thing or not.”[/color]
 
Naturally, being a clutz when it came to relationships and romance, all of that stuff just flew right over Angéliques head. She blinked a few times, wondering what Kusari meant by that question. So she just went with a heartfelt answer, as always.
 
[color=9e0039]“Well, to be honest I’m finding everyone interesting in our class. After all, I never got to actually meet Mages in person, even with the few internet fans who pretended to be Subnaturals. And you know, since we’re all in the same class and sharing the same experiences, I’m pretty much interested in knowing everyone.”[/color]
 
Angel took a sip of her glass, apparently going WAY slower than when both girls had held their drinking contest. [color=9e0039]“What about you? Are you interested in someone in particular?”[/color]

Kusari tilted her head and rested her cheek on her palm. Either the rockstar was more naive than she seemed, or she was avoiding the topic.

[color=662d91]"I meant people you'd like to date, Angel. As for me..."[/color] She thought about Callan, her face visibly becoming hollow. [color=662d91]"I've asked Callan out, but I uh... I don't think that's going to go anywhere."[/color] She shoved thoughts of Callan to the side for now, and thought of Allison. Was she interested in Allison? Interested might be the right word, the girl was cute.

[color=662d91]"Slept with Allison once, though honestly it was probably just a one time thing. I guess I just wanted to let some stress out after Wisford."[/color] She said, not thinking twice. 

There was a look of uncertainty on Angel’s face as Kusari explained her previous question more precisely. Then the detail that made Angel feel really uncomfortable deep inside.
 
[i]Oh fuck…[/i]
 
[color=9e0039]“Kusari… to be honest with you I…”[/color] Angel swallowed a bitter gulp, not sure what she was about to answer would brew an unwanted storm. But the white-haired Arbiter was honest with her, so Angel was going to do so as well. Not that honesty was lacking in the singer anyway. [color=9e0039]“I’m actually going out with Allison. Ever since we came back from DC…”[/color]
 
Angel did not know if a lot of people actually knew about her lover’s Stigma. Whatever happened between those two, was it love that turned sour or simply Kusari being manipulated by Allison’s Stigma? God, what if Allison decided to love Angel simply to fill the hole that was left after whatever happened to make those two not see each other after one night.
 
[color=9e0039]“W-what happened between you two? Why do you think it was for one night only?”[/color]

[color=662d91]"Oh."[/color] Kusari simply muttered with a sigh. She avoided looking downright distraught, but she clearly appeared disappointed at the least. It felt as if another door had closed in her face, the room felt colder all of a sudden. She couldn't be angry at Angel, nor could she blame Allison. She knew it was most likely just a fling, surely she knew that.

[color=662d91]"It was a spur of the moment thing, I can't tell you what Allison was thinking, but personally I..."[/color] Kusari glanced at her body. This body once felt alien to her, as if she were trapped in an unfamiliar shell. But it was comfortable now, disturbingly comfortable. 

[color=662d91]"Even if it was just for one night I needed to feel... wanted. Pretty pathetic I know, but I couldn't help it. I felt like I was turning into a monster."[/color]

[color=9e0039][i]Oh my fucking god… I am the worst…[/i][/color]
 
Hearing Kusari, it felt like she really had been a victim to Allison’s Stigma, and it created a whole misunderstanding. Holy shit, this girl harbored even such feeling. Now Angel was visibly uncomfortable, not because she was feeling bad for her own relationship with Allison, but because of what Kusari was probably feeling right now. 
 
She just couldn’t straight up tell her that it was Allison’s Stigma that pushed the Aberration in seeking her out for ‘comfort’. Only Allison knew what was going on in her mind anyway. But one thing was for certain, Allison and Kusari needed to sit down and talk, now that Angélique felt herself standing in the middle of their relationship, however strange or fickle it had been.
 
[color=9e0039]“Don’t say that, please. It’s not pathetic, it’s normal even…”[/color] Angel glanced down at her glass of wine, feeling the shame of what she was about to say. [color=9e0039]“You know… it’s not so different for me too. I go around, trying to be friends with people and all. But really… it’s probably because I want to feel loved, or looked up to. All my life I pursued a dream to be everyone’s idol. And after I fucked up my own dreams, I tried to keep going, befriending as many people as possible, because I feared ending up alone with no one to love, or be appreciated by.”[/color]
 
Angel chuckled sadly, very bitterly so. [color=9e0039]“Isn’t that what makes us Humans though? We may have changed, for the better or the worse, but really, does that make us any closer to those monsters out there? I don’t believe that. We’re still Humans inside. I think, on the opposite, we actually crave more about our humanity now that the world shuns us.”[/color]

Kusari let out an amused puff of air. [color=662d91]"More human huh? I guess that makes sense."[/color] She didn't feel like it, in her mind there was now a clear divide between humans and subnaturals. She just wasn't sure if the divide was something that would never change, or if it could be overcome. Angel was right, people always wanted to be loved, to be needed. But people don't always get what they want. She glanced at Angel before looking towards the window. She wanted to believe she could form proper connections with people, but she was afraid she'd ruin her relationships like she had with Sander and Christmas.

[color=662d91]"It's a shame letting us be humans would be inconvenient for Zhang. She'd have us be tools, while the rest of the world would gladly see us hanging from a tree."[/color] Kusari let out a sigh. [color=662d91]"I wonder what they'd do with us if the monsters stopped attacking, if rouge mages stopped killing people. I can't see them just letting us go."[/color]

The raven-haired singer frowned at the mention of Zhang. Truly, that woman was a mystery, more now than before considering everything happening so far. But eventually, no matter just how nice they were treated for the past few weeks, everyone was still shackled to the whims of the Director, no matter how bigger or better their cage were. 
 
[color=9e0039]“With all the undeserved respect I owe to our mighty tyrannical overlord, she can go fuck herself. Or the world, for that matter.  Even us X’s, we know we are completely fucked up, but we still have feelings and every kind of attachments that make us not so different from Regulars. Who cares what they think? As long as we have each other’s backs and care for our friends here, I won’t care what they all think.”[/color]
 
It was partly true, considering public opinion was something that had started to be something that might affect the views on Subnaturals as a whole, considering what Marcus managed to do in his interview and their recent heroics being broadcasted. And while Angel, deep inside, wanted to feel like a hero and regain everyone’s trust, she still believed that her friends came before everything else.
 
[color=9e0039]“I don’t know for sure… but if that day ever happens, then it will be the start of a whole new battle.”[/color] Angel finished by slowly sipping down her glass, her gaze following Kusari’s. 

Kusari let out a chuckle and lightly hit Angel on her leg. [color=662d91]"She can probably hear that ya know, not like I disagree though."[/color] If Kusari let Zhang know how she really felt to her face the woman was likely to have her shot. [color=662d91]"She sure can cover up a mess though..."[/color] She said. D.C had been a disaster in a number of ways, she wanted to do better going forward but she had no idea what she'd do if regulars attacked them like that. [color=662d91]"We need to work on a way of handling people without killing them. That or just run away. We can't afford to make the same mistake twice. Lily... I can't believe she did that. She seemed like the type to try and avoid hurting people no matter what. I guess she was overcompensating."[/color]

When the subject of Washington came out of the blue just as unexpectedly as Allison’s situation, Angélique’s already morose expression turned to remorseful. She had intended to apologize to Kusari about the whole ordeal, but she didn’t think the subject would come up so quickly, at least not while she was still sober. 
 
[color=9e0039]“Lily is a good girl. It’s just… she deals with the same shit as any other Aberration.”[/color] Angel  protested vividly when Lily was called out. The blonde girl sure messed up, but she had lost control, just like Angélique back there.
 
The raven-haired metalhead rubbed her neck, where a leather choker previously used to hide her X-mark. [color=9e0039]“I know it’s too easy of an excuse and blame it all on the Stigma, but that’s a truth you’ll have to learn to deal with, Kusari. Fault us for being weak-willed or anything, but people like me, Lilianna or Zoe can’t control it. Especially not after being locked up for two weeks without having a way to sate the urges.”[/color]
 
[color=9e0039]“But that still doesn’t mean I won’t try to find an alternative to prevent such things to happen in the future. I fucked up, big time, and I’m sorry that you and the others had to deal with this shit because of what I did. That’s why I’ll work double on finding a way to stop me when I lose it, be it drastic or not.”[/color]

There was the stigma excuse again. Kusari's thumb and middle finger tapped together, she blinked and looked at her hand. Right, those claws were gone for now. Did she... miss them?

She shook her head and looked to Angel. [color=662d91]"I talked to Zoe about her stigma."[/color] She said, sitting with her legs crossed to get comfortable. [color=662d91]"She told me it was too hard to resist too, so I told her to kill me, melt me away. Didn't quite mean it,
I think, but she tried to do it. Almost killed me, she could have done it I know. But she didn't, even with me goading her on she was able to fight it. I don't know how bad it is for Lily but all those people? They were down weren't they? I wonder if she even hesitated."[/color] Kusari let out a groan and tapped her forehead. [color=662d91]"I just don't know... Obviously we need you guys but every time you're forced out there something fucked up can happen."[/color]

[color=9e0039]“Sounds like you’d be dead if it wasn’t for your immortality. See, it’s only after you are actually using your power you realize what you did wrong. I wouldn’t have killed those people if Siena hadn’t dropped the cars on the people I pushed. Those people wouldn’t have died if Lily hadn’t lost control. I know my powers. I know they aren’t strong enough to outright kill people. That’s why I kept screaming nonetheless. Because I knew I could knock them out without killing them.”
 
“But I didn’t expect what would happen next…”[/color]
 
Lips sealed, the young woman’s jaws tensed and her teeth clenched hearing Kusari talk. She had a preview of what a Stigma was with Zoe, but kept on trying call out Lilianna as being a remorseless murderer. Deep inside, Angel felt her gut churning, but she kept her calm. [color=9e0039]“I can’t tell what’s happening in every Abe’s minds. Not all Stigmas are the same. Zoe’s twisted, Allison’s a constant nuisance, Hazel’s pure rage and mine’s maddening. I wouldn’t pin Lily as a murderer because who knows what kind of shit she is dealing with.”[/color]
 
Angel finished the rest of her glass before corking the bottle of wine, obviously having lost the mood to drink with everything that was being discussed. [color=9e0039]“Of course it’s going to be shit. Our curse can only be sated by violence, and whenever the situation arises, you can be damn sure it’s going to rear its ugly head and push us into making stupid choices. Some can control it, like Emma, while some loses it. So really we’re just loose cannons who need to be watched. That’s why we can’T solely rely on ourselves. We need tools, people like Lawrence, or any other guy armed with a tazer or tranguilizers, to take us out before shit like what happened at D.C. ever happens again.
 
“It’s time for us to find alternatives. And it’s time for you guys to be aware of that and put us out when the worse happens.”[/color]

[color=662d91]Ah, that pissed her off, of course it would...[/color] Kusari looked down at the bed as Angel talked. She'd clearly given up on trying to fully take control of her stigma. Did she really understand what she was asking for? [color=662d91]"They wont risk using tranqs or tasers, not unless it's enough juice to turn your spine into a lightning rod."[/color] Kusari could see herself losing Angel, she didn't want to lose another friend, but she couldn't just lie either. She looked back to Angel as something crossed her mind.

[color=662d91]"There are some Aberrations that don't feel the pull of their stigmas, aren't there? Maybe we could find a way to do that for you and the others?"[/color]

[color=9e0039]“They’ll have to get into their head that it’s either us or those people again. We were lucky this mess was cleaned, but we might not be that fortunate next time.”[/color]
 
Angel contemplated the idea Kusari had given her. Of course there were those who were considered more ‘docile’, who were not considered a threat enough to actually make it into Arbiter lodgings, but other than Emma, Hazel and Sander, she had no idea who to turn to. Ernest seemed in control too, but given what he did to her, she wasn’t willing to speak to him, lest she’d actually lose control in front of him, again but for a different reason.
 
[color=9e0039]“I’m all up for trying to control it like some others do, but like I said, it might be because their Stigmas are wholly different. Although I’d like to think it’s just because I don’t try hard enough. I keep trying to be in control, but I fail every time something really huge happens.”
 
“I don’t like the idea of it, but Hazel apparently has some medication, and her collar puts her to sleep if she gets too violent. I don’t like the idea of adding another shackle on me and turn into an obedient marionette, but if worse comes to happen, I’ll be willing to accept this shit, if only to stop me from doing a fucking mess again.”[/color]

Kusari shook her head. [color=662d91]"It sounds like you're being forced to give up and accept that."[/color] Kusari knew Angel had little choice, she was asking for an answer when she didn't even fully comprehend what the question should be. But she had to try something, didn't she? What else was there to do, just sit down like a good dog and hope master Zhang didn't put her down? 

[color=662d91]"I guess I can't blame you for that. If there is a thing called fate, it sure isn't on our side."[/color]

Angélique looked down, contemplating at her empty glass of wine [color=9e0039]"It sure isn't..."[/color] she repeated after Kusari. What a twisted joke everything had been. And even if they were at peace and secluded for the moment, Fate still brought unpleasant surprises throughout their stay here. 

[color=9e0039]"I... think I should be going. Sorry if our talk has gone downhill. It really wasn't my intention..."[/color]

There have been things she didn't expect to hear, and it was probably because of that the whole atmosphere had gone cold. Truly they were cursed indeed.

[color=662d91]"O-oh, um, sure."[/color] Kusari stammered, she knew it was her fault the mood had soured. She wasn't the best conversationalist. Part of her wanted to ask Angel to stay. She wasn't sleeping well, and the company would be nice. But that would be selfish, anyone could see Angel didn't want to be here anymore.

[color=662d91]Maybe don't mention the thing with Zoe, I think she's gotten enough flak already."[/color]

[color=9e0039]"Don't worry. Everyone has enough on their plates as it is, no need to add more to their burden, right?"[/color] Angel offered Kusari a faint reassuring smile. 

Getting up from her seat, Angélique took the bucket filled with iced water and bottles of wine. A shame, that she didn't get to drink even a single whole bottle. At least Kusari didn't seem to be angry or sour towards her, which was a good thing despite what had been revealed. The singer felt like she should try to stay and turn things around, but unfortunately the mood had settled in and she wasn't sure she could make things better. But at the very least, Angel figured she might as well let the Arbiter a door was open, right?

[color=9e0039]"If you wanna have a chat or do something one day, you know where to find me. Well... I know I'm difficult to find these days, but just slip a note under my door and we'll figure something else than drinking, yeah?"[/color] the aberration proposed with a friendly smile she managed to muster despite her gloomy mood.

Kusari felt a strange shiver down her spine when Angel smiled at her, thankfully it wasn't visible. It still felt odd having people smile at her. Angel being so attractive didn't help either. She averted her eyes and hugged her knees. [color=662d91]"Food is always a safe bet.
I'll see you later Angel."[/color] She said, trying to sound friendly. It was hard not to feel anxious. She couldn't afford to lose any more friends. Once Angel left Kusari locked the door and crawled under her bed sheets. Now if only she could get some sleep.

[color=9e0039]"Good night, Kusari."[/color] Angel wished to the white-haired Arbiter as she got up and left the girl's room with her bucket of wine.

Usually, it would be time for the fallen rockstar to complete her daily routine of gym training until midnight. However, her heart was not at the right place tonight. Instead, she took a car and drove off to the northern cliffs with her bucket of alcohol. The young woman did not feel the usual happiness when she was drunk. Drinking alone was no fun.

Throughout the evening, she spent her time alone over there, gazing at the stars, the moon, the distant dark horizon, and the dark ocean below. How strange, for now that she was looking at the ocean, it was the first time that it occured in her mind that this precise moment reminded her of her visions. The darkness, the ocean's waves crashing against the cliffs, everything seemed just as real as those waking dreams.

 The empty bottles of wine were starting to pul up just beside the drinking Aberration as she contemplated her current state of life. In under two months only, she went down from famous rockstar to feared Subnatural. From Banshee to Siren. From a girl with daring ambitions to young woman with only a lover as a sole reason to live. A lover that she wasn't quite sure she loved the pathetic murderer than Angel had become. So much deaths, so much hatred, so much emotions and experiences Angélque never thought she'd experience one day, all in under a span of a month. She made new friends, she made new foes, She was a caged bird, reminiscing of the black-feathered canary in her room. She had lost her flame, her passion, her resolve. Everything was replaced by doubts, pain, sorrow and conflicts. Truly, what a cursed existence it was to be an X-marked, a Subnatural even. Back when she was an idol, she thought it was bad, being a Subnatural and shunned by society. She threw pledges and claims about trying to help them and change the world's view on them. However, now that she was one, she would have thought that this wasn't just bad. This life was a living hell, a much too real nightmare. She was foolish before. She thought she was right, that she had all the answers. She was pretentious. A coward. And now, she is a scared little girl, self-righteous and egotistical. 
 
Eventually she'd fall asleep, for once the warmth of her lover replaced by the cold breeze of an October night.

That night, Angélique did not return to the estate.
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