[quote=@SantosGabriel77] Judge this please William Kruxs [/quote] Concept is good, but could you give it a bit of a tidy-up? Make sure tags are correctly aligned and make sure the grammar is on point. Although the history is fine in an general sense, it could do with a little rewording and fleshing out. [quote=@Skull] If you're still accepting I'd like to join, though it'll probably take me til the end of the week to have a sheet ready. [/quote] Between the awful puns and the DS pic, I feel I have to save you a space! But seriously, this RP is going to remain perma-open (unless we somehow get a silly number of people) so technically no deadline on getting the CS in. [quote=@NecroKnight] [@Fat Boy Kyle] Done and finished. [hider=Eramas] [CENTER][I]Character Theme – [/I] [URL=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n55QVlBoDxI]For Victory![/URL] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [IMG]https://i.ytimg.com/vi/0K2XK7XkIzs/maxresdefault.jpg[/IMG] [color=SlateBlue][h2]Inquisator Eramas[/h2][/color] [i]He is about 6'4" tall, a giant of a man - with a more toned than a muscly build to him. While rarely seen outside of his armor, Eramas has pale skin - a black mustache and goatee. Alongside a scar on his left eye.[/i] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Black Dragoon[/U]】[/color] [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Human[/U]】[/color] [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Male[/U]】[/color] [color=SlateBlue]【[U]31[/U]】[/color] [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Hetero[/U]】[/color] [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Telchar[/U]】[/color] [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Church(loosely)[/U]】[/color] [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Warrior of the Church[/U]】[/color] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Personality[/U]】[/color] Eramas used to be like the regular members of the Church - orthodox, unwavering and unflaunting in his duty to apprehend the guilty and criminal. After the false-conviction however, his mood has changed around - as he is more inqusitive, curious and above-all-else, more open-minded. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=SlateBlue]【[U]History[/U]】[/color] Eramas had been one of many Warriors of the Church - a nobody, that had been trained in the discipline of their God and serving without hesitation. Eramas had been chasing the murderer of the City, alongside many other Warriors and guardsmen - when the Witcher had been caught and hanged, he had cheered alongside many. Having assumed, they had caught the murderer - sadly, just a day afterwards, he had found his own wife murdered in the City. Namely the same way as the killer had done - he realized his mistake at that moment, having drowned his sorrow in alcohol for a good three days. Mostly in his own home to avoid persecution - when he returned to work on the fourth, he had a revelation in it's Halls. Namely their God had been both of Great Power but also Great Mercy and Kindness - why else, would he show his great power and instead of destroy, gift them a bounty? It was one of these reasons - that he decided to find others of the Witcher' order and help them uncover the true murderer. Being an agent within the Church - trying to desperately uncover the real identity of the killer. A few times thinking, it might be somebody amongst the Church of Manaanan. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Skills and Abilities[/U]】[/color] Eramas is a skilled swordsman and fighter - despite being a human, he can hold his own against monsters as well. As his almost veteran skill in fighting in heavy armor - has made him a tank on the battlefield. Able to match both beast and mage, should the need arise. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Weapons/Tools and Magic[/U]】[/color] Eramas wields a black sword and armor - said to be made from a black ore beneath the City, that many of the Warriors of the Church use. Namely to be shielded or atleast resistant to the effects of magic - whether those rumors are true or not. Seeing as how the Warriors haven't much fought against actual spellcasters - nevertheless, the rumours suggest that it atleast has some resistance and effect. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=SlateBlue]【[U]Other[/U]】 [/color] Dialogue colour: [color=SlateBlue]Awesome blue[/color] [/center][/hider] [/quote] 1. Please reformat the bit with the alias and stuff. Though I know exactly what each bit means, someone new to this RP might just see that section and have no idea what it means without the headings. For example they might see you've written "Telchar" and be like "What the hell does that mean? Does he 'telch' things?". 2. Could you do a little rewrite about the armour? Put [b]"Eramas wields a black sword and armor - said to be made from a black ore beneath the City, that a select few Warriors of the Church use. Said to be shielded or at least resistant to the effects of magic - though it's not clear whether those rumors are true or not."[/b]. It's alluded to in the prologue post that Warriors all wear varying armour. Basically for the most part they have whatever armour they themselves can afford, or scraps that the church is able to throw together for them. Though there could certainly be exceptions for established members (which your character could be if he's an inquisitor) to get better church-funded armour. 3. Once these small bits are done, he can be added to the Character list :) [quote=@POOHEAD189] [@Fat Boy Kyle] [hider=Dwarf Hunter] [center][IMG]LINK TO A PICTURE GOES HERE[/IMG] [color=996633][h2]Keggar Stoutstride[/h2][/color] [i]Keggar has the quintessential Dwarf look. Brown beard reaching past his chest, bulky nose and rosey cheeked. His skull is thick and his muscles are thicker, barrel chest covered in scars. His arms are so long and burly they're almost apeish, with large hands to accompany them. His beard is braided with two brass rings that he intertwined his hair in when he couldn't fit them on his thick fingers.[/i] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=996633]【[U]Alias[/U]】[/color] StoutStride [color=996633]【[U]Race[/U]】[/color] Dwarf [color=996633]【[U]Gender[/U]】[/color] Male [color=996633]【[U]Age[/U]】[/color] 97 [color=996633]【[U]Sexuality[/U]】[/color] Straight [color=996633]【[U]Birth Place[/U]】[/color] Mahakaman [color=996633]【[U]Nation/Allegiance[/U]】[/color] Mahakaman/The Wilds! [color=996633]【[U]Profession[/U]】[/color] Big Game Hunter -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=996633]【[U]Personality[/U]】[/color] Keggar's what some might call rambunctious. Eccentric even! Oh, he's got the usual Dwarven traits. Grim and hard, but boisterous and full of cheer when there's drinks to be had. However, he's got a beast inside him. A beast that makes him hunt other beasts. There's a ferocity to his intentions. At times he'll snarl instead of glare, or freeze and focus instead of flee. Some say Keggar has spent too much time out in the wild, or too much time living in the bottle (guilty of both). Though that being said, he's not bad with company as long as they're loyal and don't mind his odd quirks and mannerisms. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=996633]【[U]History[/U]】[/color] Keggar was born in the Dwarven city state of Mahakaman, to two conservative Dwarven parents. His father was a banker, and a damned good one too. His mother baked, cooked, cleaned, and ran a small guild for gossipers, helping her husband with potential gains through word of mouth. All they needed was a son, and after being married for a mere 30 years, they produced a rock of a child they dubbed Keggar. He'd grow up and live up to the name, for eventually he could out drink his father! He grew up being groomed for soldiery, learning a bit of his father's trade and some culinary skills from his mom as well. It was exploration that truly called to him, however. They'd traveled a bit, his father showing him human Nordlings and their settlements on business. But it wasn't enough, truth be told. He'd always look into the forests, or the deep caverns even his kin dared not dwell, seeing vasts worlds down there, and things to kill! He joined the Mahakaman guard around his 50th birthday, when the lad became a proper Dwarf and his beard reached his waist. He fought a few scuffles and killed a few bandits here and there. It was when he was given duty on Mount Carbon that his life changed forever. A great beast it was! Attacking the caravan was a wolf the size of a wagon! Roaring with spittle flying about, it gutted a Gnome and a Dwarf lass before Keggar ended its life with a well placed Axe to the skull. The Caravan was so grateful, not only did they give him booze, but he got laid! And he skinned the great beast as well, selling the hide for a tidy profit. His father was so proud of him, and though he wished Keggar could stick to soldiering, he did give him his blessing when Keggar announced he'd become a freelance hunter. For the next 40 years, he applied his craft, killing the occasional witcher beast, but mostly large game throughout the North. He joined merc crews every now and then for the extra coin, his traps coming in handy in capturing bounties or sending enemy forces in disarray. But even for one as long lived as a Dwarf, things could get boring sometimes. The Northern wars gave him no joy save the coin in his pocket, and the beasts were becoming complacent. He spent 5 long years in a melancholy until he heard tell of a new continent, and the next year he raised the money to gain passage on whatever ship would take him! The rest, as they say, is history. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=996633]【[U]Skills and Abilities[/U]】[/color] [b]Savage Fighter[/b] - Deadly as most prominent Mercenaries with his Axe and Long Knife. [b]Tracker[/b] - Can track man or beast across most surfaces and landscapes. [b]Trapper[/b] - Excellent at making traps to capture foes, and has the strategic mind to make the skill effective. [b]Beast's Bounty[/b] - Can make many items through his woodcraft and parts of beasts he has killed. [b]Herbalism[/b] - Uses herbs to help heal, or at least halt bleeding. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=996633]【[U]Weapons/Tools and Magic[/U]】[/color] [list] [*]Hand Axe [*]Long Knife [*]Knife for skinning. [*]Net [*]Healing Brew [*]Poison Vial [*]Caultrops [/list] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [color=996633]【[U]Other[/U]】 [/color] Dialogue colour: [color=996633]Earthy[/color] AOB [/center][/hider] Done! [/quote] Accepted!