He knew he was chickening out by avoiding the issue rather than just being up front about it, but the plan made a certain sense before he started drinking. A couple drinks to get flushed, and then a few more and he looked suitably done in. Slumping, slurring and playing it up a bit was a bit of fun, almost like it was a game. He knew he was good when a couple people came by and said, "Hey, you okay there buddy?"

Word got around, which was sort of the point. It bought him a little bit of time. 

Heather? Not so happy. Carl? Left holding the bag a bit, but that was the implied part of the conversation at the bar.

So Carl was having to put up with a bagfull of complaints and inquiries about why Jared was suddenly turning up tired and drunk and what a bad look it was.

"Well, he's been practicing real hard and was kind of nervous about the formal, so you know, he took some of that punch on an empty stomach and..." 

Carl could spin the bullshit. That was why he was brought into the plot. The formal was neither the time nor the place to end the whole thing. That didn't make Heather a happy camper, but it did bring out the desired words, "I'm going home with some of my girlfriends. Can you let Jared know when he sobers?"

"Absolutely Heather, the man is a dog and I understand. Some things must not be borne." Carl was on the edge of insubordination with that, but she mostly squinted at him through the buzz of her own drinks, trying to figure out what Carl was trying to say.

"Don't you worry girl, I'll get him home in one piece." But Heather was already walking away from Carl, clearly done with the distasteful situation.

Meanwhile, Jared lingered on a couch somewhere, sprawled out with other people who were done. Carl shuffled over and started to get him up.

"Man, you gotta take the keys..." he slurred, "where's Heather?"

"There there, buddy, all taken care of. We're gonna stop somewhere and get some Checkers in your sweet, sweet ride. You, me and three ladies. Heather found a different ride." Music to Jared's ears. 

Carl got Jared up on his feet but was keeping him steady as he reported into Maureen, "So, we're gonna drive real carefully in Jared's stang, but we've got room for one more because Heather already left with her cheerleaders." He seemed oddly cheerful at the prospect, satisfied with the outcome of the entire situation, like he and Jared managed to pass through the fire or something.

Come to think of it, Jared wasn't totally gone either, but he was careful not to say too much, deliberately keeping it in his head that loose lips sank ships. The last thing he wanted was talk to get back to the wrong ears and the whole caper to go up. It was hard in the haze, but the less said, the better.